Whats the next move

holy shit

Looks like superman roadkill

Girl: Hey been pretty busy. Sorry for the delayed response! I'm not a very fussy eater, I like to think I try new things but I don't ha I haaaaate mushrooms. That's about it. What do you like eating? And I don't want a date lol
Me - 2 hrs later: Ahhh she does eat. But she hasn't given me time and date for our not a date. Lol
Me - 6 mins later: I'm quite alright with most types of foods. Chinese, a good steak medium rare and seafood dishes have got to be up there.
Girl - 1 min later: I ain't the biggest meat eater
Me: Vegetarian, vegan or something more interesting?
Girl - 1 min later: I am none of those. Just not something I eat very often or by choice.
Me - 17 mins later: Fair play. In that case you have the freedom of choice. ��
Girl: I did have a burger the other day
Me: Ok... I wasn't there though. Lol.
Me - 15 hrs 28 mins later: Whats your preference. Texting or talking? I'm cool with any��
Girl - 2 mins later: I'm cool with any too. Working on a Sunday should be illegal ��
Me - 2 mins later: You are at work. ��My bad. Yeah it should be illegal. Wanna grab a bite, coffee or drink later��no pressure
Me - 4 mins later: Btw. My treat. ��
Girl - 43 mins later: That's very kind of you but I have so much to do after work! Noy enough hours in the day!
Me - 7 mins later: :-P Busy body. Lol.
Me - 1 min later: Maybe some other time;-)
Girl - 2 mins later: Well I'm running the store today and then have to get back to my dog and chores chores chores ��
Me - 3 mins later: Bella the Man-Eater. She has you wrapped around her leash. Lol. And she has turned your flat into a war zone since you've be gone.
Girl - 1 min later: She's being a little bugger lately. I don't agree with animal cruelty but if I get home and she's wee'd on my carpet again I will give her a dead leg.
Me - 2 mins later: What a trouble maker. She knows you love so she'll get away with it. Was she home trained.
Girl - 2 mins later: Yea she was house trained, she would never pull the crap she does now. She seems to have started being naughty since I broke up with her dad lol
Me - 2 mins later: Hehe. Sounds like she is sulking and being a rebellious teenager. How long has she been acting up.
Girl: About 3 months now.
Me - 1 min later: Oh dear. she's needs to get over it. ��
Me - 1 min later: Aaaawww. She is cute... A cute brat. Lol
Girl: We got her together when she was just a couple weeks old so I suppose it's weird for her to not have him around. And it doesn't help that he keeps driving past my flat and she gets excited thinking she gets to see him.
Me - 2 mins later: Ouch. It can confusing for her. Its like he's teading her. Why did you break up if you don't mind me asking.
Girl: He was a cheating liar
Me - 2 mins later: Same old story, just a different actor. Lying Cheating Bastards.
Me: Hope its not left you bitter and resentful
Girl - 2 mins later: Of course it hasn't. I'm still friends with the guy after all he's done.
Me - 5 mins later: Good on you. Always nice to have a positive attitude.
Girl - 3 mins later: He's still a dick tho lol
Me - 1 min later: They had to be a parting shot and one last word. Lol. Fair play to you. ��
Girl - 12 mins later: Only another hour at work !
Me - 3 mins later: Yay �� another Sunday another dollar
Me - 3 hrs 45 mins later: Water and candles. Hmmm. What you up to on a Sunday. Lol
Girl - 1 min later: I've only just sat down
Me - 7 mins later: You are a busy body. What you been upto. Apart from cleaning after MissBella.
Me - 2 days 17 hrs later: The only good mornings are the ones that start in the afternoon
Me - 1 min later: Fact 35: It is impossible to hum with you nose closed.
Girl - 2 hrs 54 mins later: It is impossible. I tried!
Girl - 1 min later: My ears popped.
Me - 20 mins later: Oh my goodness you tried it. Lol. That was fact 36. You tried it.
Me: Did you know that baa baa black sheep and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune.
Girl - 29 mins later: Ha I knew that
Me - 20 mins later: Did you now! ��Was this after you sang it. Lol.
Girl - 1 hr 5 mins later: I didn't need to sing it. Did you know that you can't breathe out while you have your tongue sticking out. See, I can do facts too!
Me - 2 mins later: Damn straight skippy. Lol. How many more facts do you have hidden under your sleeve.
Girl - 44 mins later: Omg so I found a doggy Santa outfit.
Me: Take a pic lets see
Girl: I'll wait for bella to finish her foo then dress her up.
Girl: Food
Me - 1 min later: Ands whats your outfit like
Girl: I'm all in black lol
Me - 1 min later: hmmm. Interesting. Would have thought a red number would have been in order. Why black
Girl: Just the clothes I threw on after work. Black skinnys and a black top.
Me - 1 min later: Aaaah. I was thinking of your Christmas outfit and not your jammies. Lol
Girl: Ha I have no Xmas outfit. Xmas is just me & bella at home this year!
Me: Can I invite myself for xmas. And then there will be three.
Me - 1 min later: Would invite you yo mine but no pets allowed
Girl - 1 min later: Ah are you another loner with no family to spend Xmas with too?
Me - 1 min later: Yup. The lone wolf. I have family to spend Xmas with but its never something I look forward to.
Me: Wheres your family
Girl - 1 min later: You should spend time with your family, especially at Christmas!
Girl: I have a dad, four older brothers and my nan.
Me: Everybody is with their families and here I come along. All on lonesome. Hell no. Lol.
Me: Are they local
Me: You should also spend Christmas with family
Girl - 2 mins later: Yea we all live close by but one of my brothers is in prison. I speak to him loads and I'm sure if he was out he'd spend Xmas with me.
Girl - 4 mins later: The rest of my brothers all have their own girlfriends and kids and lives. My dad spends Christmas with his partners family. And then there's me.
Me: Yup. Your Christmas might have probably been different. I only have one sister. Married and decided to punish me with two nephews and a niece aka terrorists.
Girl - 2 mins later: I have 2 nephews and 2 nieces but I don't see them much. The special children in my life are Ryan, Imogen and Ashton. They're my friends kids & I spend most my time trying to make them laugh.
Me - 2 mins later: Ok its sorted. I'm going to interview you to see if you will be at least decent company if not absolutely awesome. See if you have a sense of humour and have a stash of jokes.
Girl - 1 min later: Ha all my friends think I'm the funniest person ever.
Me: Ahhh Schweeet. You own special collection of kiddies.
Me - 1 min later: Hmmmm. You have to live up to the reputation now.��
Me - 1 hr 3 mins later: This is crazy. My heating is on but my ass is freezing. Sounds very windy outside
Me - 14 hrs 2 mins later: Sophie aka Miss BaddAss. You know, its really not cool to be so cute and charming. Not fair... BTW. CONGRATS
Girl - 46 mins later: I'm not very well today and had to ring into work sick :(
Me - 16 mins later: Ohhhh dear. Even your sad face smiley is down in the dumps. What have you cone down with. ��Just to set the record straight. It wasn't me!!!

Szamyl give me a rundown of your text convo. E.g. break it down and tell me what's happening throughout. I want to get your perspective on this. 

Met this young lady while I was out doing my business.

We were both waiting to get served when we just started chatting. Nothing to it. Just banter. She told me she was in retail and I told her I was in Project Management.

My turn to get served came and I went about my business.

That same day, I bump into her again outside her work place and we chat some more. Nothing to it really so before I leave I say to her that if I met up or bumped 

into her again, something had to give.

I did meet her again 6 weeks later, same place - outside her work place. I told her I had been looking for her and since I didn't expect to see her, fate surely had a plan.

she didn't seem phased at all and started telling me it was her birthday and pretty much what she had been up to. I'm like ok. This is going extremely well.

We chatted and exchanged numbers. 

I sent her a text. She replied the next day. We texted for a bit and then I suggested we hooked up and it wasn't a date.

Thats the convo since.

Now, I could easily go by her work place and say whats up but do not want to appear like a stalker or needy. As it stands, I have been mindful of what I say in my text and 

make subtle hints. 

The question is about closing the deal. I also speak to her on the phone but try keep it chilled. 

I do not want to end up looking like a muppet so Hit me up with some advice.

The thing is mang is you're having a "polite" conversation. I don't think you understand how attraction works, or how to make girls be interested. You got to have an edge, this is about as bland as it gets. 

Girl: Hey been pretty busy. Sorry for the delayed response! I'm not a very fussy eater, I like to think I try new things but I don't ha I haaaaate mushrooms. That's about it. What do you like eating? And I don't want a date lol 

Me - 2 hrs later: Ahhh she does eat. But she hasn't given me time and date for our not a date. Lol 

Me - 6 mins later: I'm quite alright with most types of foods. Chinese, a good steak medium rare and seafood dishes have got to be up there. 

Girl - 1 min later: I ain't the biggest meat eater 

Me: Vegetarian, vegan or something more interesting? 

Girl - 1 min later: I am none of those. Just not something I eat very often or by choice. 

Me - 17 mins later: Fair play. In that case you have the freedom of choice. �� 

Girl: I did have a burger the other day 

Me: Ok... I wasn't there though. Lol. 

Me - 15 hrs 28 mins later: Whats your preference. Texting or talking? I'm cool with any�� 

You're trying to offer her some kind of "topshelf" dinner and she's kind of making it clear this isn't what she wants. But most importantly you want to present yourself as a challenge, which you're not doing AT ALL. "And I don't want a date lol" (semi-rejection here buddy) You: Yeah I don't want a date either, you could be crazy! 

It's a simple little twist, but that's the exact sort of thing you need to start adding to your communication. Does this make sense? Or would sending a text like that make you uncomfortable? 

I'm with you on that one there. Time to shift gears. There I was trying not to be what I am good at. Being cocky and arrogant. Ok the benefit of the doubt rests with my ass to try turn it around. Chick ain't going to know what hit her. 

thanks man.

Cool, keep us posted. 

So we are back at it again. After a day or so of silence and the ocassional chat. She drops this.

Girl: Hey how are you?

Me - 1 min later: Hey. You back online now:)

Girl: Ha yes! I caved in and bought extra data even tho mine comes back in like 2 days. How have you been?

Me - 1 min later: Nah. You just missed me :-P

Girl: Ha I can text without data!

Me - 1 min later: Yeah. You definitely must have mad skills.

Girl - 1 min later: Ha it was my phone bill why I got cut off and not lack of Internet.

Me - 3 mins later: Damn phone bills.�� They should be banned.

Girl - 1 min later: Well my bank card broke so they had to send me a new one and I couldn't pay it until my new one was here. I rang them and explained and they took the ban off and then my bank card came yesterday.

Me - 2 mins later: Good on you. I guess you happy coz now you are able to plot and get up to no good.

Girl: Yes and i can use my bank card & go shopping!!

Me - 3 mins later: Wow girl. Retail therapy here you come. Lol. Where you going to next or is it Crimbo shopping

Girl: I've done all my christmas shopping!

Me - 2 mins later: I haven't bothered this year. I'll consider easter eggs next year. Me - 5 mins later: Besides I had every intention of spending it in Spain.

Girl: I didn't have to get many presents. Spain?

Me - 3 mins later: Yup. It was my way of treating myself and for being a good boy this year.

Girl: Lucky you!

Me: not yet.

Me - 17 mins later: Anyways. I'll chat with you some other time. My Sunday night fix is here... Pop corn and Movie. Cheerio Luv.

I decide to end this this here and see what else she has in store. At this stage, I am begining to feel that I am doing quite of bit chasing. No harm in doing so me thinks. The next day I start off with some humour. Well my version of re-engagement. 

Me - 18 hrs 22 mins later: Women need food, water, and compliments. Thats right. And an occasional pair of shoes.

Me - 4 mins later: Since I sent you a text to smile about. I am going to need my 10p to cover my free messages when I see you. ��

Girl - 1 hr 4 mins later: You can have my money

Me - 22 mins later: Ooooh Oooh. If I am going to have your money. The goal posts have shifted. :-) I want lots of it. Lol

Girl - 8 mins later: I don't have much

Me - 1 min later: Hmmmm. Thats fine with me. How much of my happiness can you afford then. �� Girl - 2 hrs 18 mins later: Maybe 2 more texts?

Me - 3 mins later: Whoa Damn. Thats below the belt. Only three texts. Ouch. On the other hand... Me - 4 mins later: The two texts could be priceless... ��

Girl: Ah that's all I can afford

Me - 2 mins later: Ok. Maybe I should cash in collect. Lol.

Girl: Monthly direct debit

Me - 1 min later: What's the minimum contract length and what are my benefits.

Me - 1 hr 9 mins later: Fact 101: Serial killers and men have one thing in common. The one that got away.

So there I am waiting to see what happens next. At this time it had dawned on me that she is on a budget when sge comes to texts. PAY-AS-YOU-GO. I am sitting with a contract with unlimited calls, texts and data. I am now debating. Being strung alone and played the fool or slowing drifting into friend or text buddy zone. I'm not going to assume anything and therefore sit back and watch... What the hell is going on. I feel like the noose is tightening around my neck and she has me exactly where she wants.

Holmes where are YOU in this? You're practically just a specially trained spambot. All you are is banter and no actual ANYTHING about you. We in the industry like to call this "all dick and no balls". 

Bring shit YOU have going on into the convo. This way not only are you creating the idea of a real person in her head, someone she can relate to, it also makes it WAYFUCKINGEASIER to segue to a meetup.. which is where you want to be taking this. 

By the way where were you planning on going with this? It's like you're waiting for some sign from her to do.. what, exactly? 

For example she brought up problems with a debit/cc and christmas shopping. BOTH of these you could have spun into something much more personal but also much more awesome.