WTF -- Girl called me *too smooth* and cut things off because she claims I'm *a player*
Matched with her on tinder. She made plans quickly and it took about a week to meet up. I mentioned her in the other thread about "horrible texters" because she was aloof and took 12-24hrs to reply to texts. We met up for drinks and everthing was effortless between us. The chemistry was obvious. She is very quick-witted and one of the funniest girls I've met in a long time. Pretty face, great smile, voice sexy af, huge tits. She was going to Vegas a few days after we hung out so we talked about my experiences there and I gave her some tips. (She ended up going everywhere I told her to go and when haha even though she tried to deny it). She told me that I was a great conversationalist.
We madeout for a while outside the bar but she wasn't moving anywhere. Mid-makeout she stops me and asks me if this is part of my routine. I laughed it off but she insisted, and said "either this is part of your routine or you're a player because you're too smooth." WTF does that even mean? She was saying this as she was holding onto me tightly so its not like she had a problem with it.
So she went to Vegas and then worked a lot afterwards so we didn't see each other again until 2 weeks after the first time. She was still aloof and took several hours to respond to texts, but she was warmer and we talked on the phone a few times. She met me at an Italian byob and the whole time she was basically "in state." Touching her hair, laughing while tilting her head back, not breaking eye contact, etc. She made a few comments about me being a player but I thought she was kidding. After dinner we walked outside and she said, "So you wanna go makeout in your car?"
Eventually I pulled my cock out and she was stroking it but couldnt get her to put it in her mouth. Also couldn't get her pants off. She even told me she wore tighter pants than last time because she was amazed I got my hands in the last ones and they were tight. She was grinding on my cock through her jeans, heavy breathing eyes, completely wet and turned on, but I couldn't get the pants off.
A few days later we made plans for me to go over to her place after work and hang out the next day since we both had the day off. She didn't resist much. Then the day before she texted me to say that her friend got her a ticket to a sold out show that she had wanted to go to so she was going. She was nice about apologizing and saying she wanted to reschedule.
Idk what happened in her life between then and Thursday night, but by Thurs she changed her mind and said I'm too much of a player and she doesn't want to pursue anything. All attempts by me to get a fun thread going or to meet up again have been shot down by her and she isn't changing her mind.
Does anybody know why?
Here's a few guesses. Interested to see what MW thinks.
-Sounds like this may have thrown you off a bit. And she caught that you didn't really pass the test. She brought it up a second time even.
"either this is part of your routine or you're a player because you're too smooth."
'Hey! That's not in the script. :)'
-It could also mean that you weren't being yourself. She called you out for following a routine. Are you hiding behind a pickup persona or is it really your true personality on display? She may have felt you were just going through the motions with her.
-You weren't enough of a challenge and she aleady knows how this movie ends. Maybe you were just too into her and it threw you off?
MW said this in another thread that i think may be applicable:
Sometimes girls make shit up to justify why not to see a guy that only makes sense in THEIR mind.
Maybe came off too playerish versus connecting w/her:
- Were the conversations primarily light-hearted and fun versus learning about her?
- Forcing the action a little bit versus letting things breathe and enjoying the moment w/her?
- Sub-point: If you were forcing the action, ask yourself why? That can probably help
That's all I can think off the top.
MW said this in another thread that i think may be applicable:Sometimes girls make shit up to justify why not to see a guy that only makes sense in THEIR mind.
Maybe came off too playerish versus connecting w/her:
- Were the conversations primarily light-hearted and fun versus learning about her?
I asked her questions about herself. Also when I was telling stories she was an active participant in terms of making jokes, interjecting, and trying to trip me up with jokes and innuendos. It was after she tried to rattle me with a few "pegging" jokes and I handled her completely that her little brain melted and she said "you're an amazing conversationalist."
Sounds like a lack of comfort and trust. I think she's also starting drama to see if you'll overcome the objection and give her greater certainty that by having sex with you she won't get buyer's remorse.
In sales there are 3 reactions you get when you throw out the offer.
They're either excited, hesitant/maybe or a clear no.
Those who see value in what you're offering will rarely buy right away, most usually are hesitant in buying right away. Even if they want to buy they don't want to seem like they were so easily convince/sold so they stall, throw out objections so you can make them feel more certain that they're making a good choice. Basically people don't buy because
1. They aren't certain what you're offering has value
2. They aren't certain that you're someone they like or can trust
3. They aren't certain that they can trust the company to back up it's claim/offer
My trainer showed me how I was letting all these sales walk away that I thought weren't intersted. They would tell me they wanted to think about it and never returned or bought. He taught me you had to overcome their objections, be more certain than their doubts to make them more certain in what you're offering/claiming and then they'll buy.
She messaged you and told you why she's not meeting up with you instead of just ghosting which to me is a sign of interest. Just loop back build more comfort, trust. If you meet up with her I would future pace her. Talk about scenarios in the future where you guys are doing something together, maybe even funny shit, this will imply you intend to see her again after you sleep with her and give her more reassurance.
Aequitas wrote:
MW said this in another thread that i think may be applicable:Sometimes girls make shit up to justify why not to see a guy that only makes sense in THEIR mind.
Maybe came off too playerish versus connecting w/her:
- Were the conversations primarily light-hearted and fun versus learning about her?
I asked her questions about herself. Also when I was telling stories she was an active participant in terms of making jokes, interjecting, and trying to trip me up with jokes and innuendos. It was after she tried to rattle me with a few "pegging" jokes and I handled her completely that her little brain melted and she said "you're an amazing conversationalist."
I'm saying maybe the issue is that the conversations were primarily TOO light hearted -> assumes you're a player since you haven't grounded yourself as a real person -> self protection kicks in.
does anyone else find it weird that she was grinding on him but wouldn't let him take her pants off? peopl are so neurotic.
Review of Manwhore's skype coaching: http://manwhore.org/forum/content/much-ado-about-muffing-lesbian-reviews...
Sun Tzu — 'Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win'
Marcus Aurelius - "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Angelina Jolie -- "She asked if I wanted to play a Bond girl. I said, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that… but I would like to play Bond’.”
Why is that when a man sleeps with a women, he's called a player. But, when a woman does it, she's called a lesbian?!
You're kidding, right? Lol
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
O_o no
Review of Manwhore's skype coaching: http://manwhore.org/forum/content/much-ado-about-muffing-lesbian-reviews...
Sun Tzu — 'Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win'
Marcus Aurelius - "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Angelina Jolie -- "She asked if I wanted to play a Bond girl. I said, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that… but I would like to play Bond’.”
Why is that when a man sleeps with a women, he's called a player. But, when a woman does it, she's called a lesbian?!
So I toned everything down and scaled all the stories back and shit to do my best "regular dude" impression while out with girls. I try to think of what I used to be like before MW training, but 87% less gay and obviously escalating and leading--which have both finally become 2nd nature by the way. Other stuff still feels somewhat strange--like calling a girl out for checking her FB, do that shit when I go take a piss. Its one thing if she has to text her older sister or mother to say she's ok. Anyways, this girl put her phone away after I said something and didn't get it back out til the next morning.
BUT now I'm having the opposite issue. We'll be naked for the first time and they say something like "I can't sleep with you because I like you too much." And they're afraid (rightly so) that I'll never hang out again if they give it up the first night.
How do I find balance in the force?? How do I let them know that I'm terrible boyfriend material but yet don't get a player auto-reject?