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Joined: 03/05/2014

I couldn't go inside the classroom for one of my classes. I got this huge panic attack because the only seats available were in the middle and front. The room was too fucking bright too. I can't handle being in small and bright enviroments. My heart starts racing and my mind just goes on full fucking racing mode. I keep thinking people are judging me or can see every single one of my insecuruities or shit that I've done wrong when in bright lights. I feel as if I'm too fucking exposed. WTF. This shit never happened before. I used to be completely fine sitting in front of the classroom middle etc. I also feel awkward as fuck being around such calm people. I'm so fucking active and mobile. I figet a lot for some reason. I can't stand feeling like i make people uncomfortable being around me, so I just leave or distance myself. WTF 

I then start to get uncomfortable and put off a bad vibe which then leads to me acting weird or all uptight and it just fucking cycles on and on.

So I have to wait until next semester to take that class. I've already dropped a shit load of classes because of this. SMH

Does anyone else experience this? Should i seek out a therapist? For some reason this only happens in really bright lights at night or when I'm surround by people. I feel like everyone looks at me and judges me wrong. I know I shouldn't give a fuck but my mind spins out of control regardless. I then get angry at myself for feeling like that. which leads to me just putting myself down in my own mind and getting in a bad mood. WTF

I can approach chicks on the street no problem. But when it comes to this for some reason I can't do it. I can't do shit in college because i feel like everyone will judge me, or that's not "the right place" I know these are fucked up thoughts, but they're rampant as fuck. 

I feel like everyone else is happy and successful and that makes me get angry at myself for not being able to sit in a fucking classroom due to brihgt lights. like wtf man.

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Joined: 01/18/2012
It's residual effects from

It's residual effects from you know what. Think about the environment you were in after it happened. 

The solution is to PPON and meditate, get good at this and then go into these environments with Tolle in and maintain that calm. This is self-therapy. You can do it. I used to be a hydrophobe, so I joined the swim team in high school. That's how a man handles his problems 

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Joined: 01/31/2012
Manwhore wrote: It's residual

Manwhore wrote:
It's residual effects from you know what. Think about the environment you were in after it happened. 

The solution is to PPON and meditate, get good at this and then go into these environments with Tolle in and maintain that calm. This is self-therapy. You can do it. I used to be a hydrophobe, so I joined the swim team in high school. That's how a man handles his problems 

Lol that's funny. I am scared of heights but I forced myself to do some gnarley scaling / rock climbing. Still scared of heights but I just push my way through and enjoy the adrenaline rush.