Your anger is the little nitrous can under the hood
Evening gents. This article won't have any notion of chasing girls, I want to have a real talk with all of you.
I woke up today 5 hrs later than I was supposed to. Exhausted from a mix of working a 12 hour shift, working out too hard and sleeping late as a result. I’m barely keeping up with what I’m supposed to do... my routine is out of whack. You see constantly adding more to my plate and raising the stakes like that requires raising your own standard.
Walking around my house in a state of pretty extreme irritation. The smallest thing setting off boiling anger in my core. I'm observing it without losing my mind, every person I'm interacting with, whether they can read it off me or not, are just a step away from setting off a landmine.
This anger...it's consuming. I almost expect myself to start turning green and smashing stuff lol
Quite confused at the emotion I'm feeling, but I also know I'm done being pushed around by my own state. I'm conscious enough to not identify with it at the same time this isn't my usual self. I get angry very rarely…
Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm angry at myself. All this rage that I want to project outwards has nothing to do with the cute birds outside tempting me to use em for target practice or the driver in front of me pushing his car at the speed of a lawnmower. I'm angry at myself because I haven't been stepping up to the plate as HARD as I've been wanting to the past month. I appointed big goals for myself that I'm not meeting.
This daze I woke up in. This brain fog that’s fucking me up. I want a way to fight it and my body is right on Que. This anger is motivation. I’m mad at my excuses, my rationalizations, my own bullshit.
Why wait for the emotion to disappear when I can USE it to propel myself forward. I’m Ricky Bobby and my body is Cal Naughton setting me up for a shake n bake.
The anger is latent/stagnant emotion that has been repressed. Repression due to a lack of masculine expression. That drive to go conquer the world, climb that corporate ladder, get a promotion, to ramp your whip 100 over on the highway, stomp on the skull of your enemy, build a bridge, go hunt a gawdamn wooly mammoth and wrestle it down to the ground with your bare hands while your spear is gouging it's back and your shoulder bleeding from it’s tusk. Writing the legend as MW puts it ;)
Some ways this manifests:
-Viewing masculine activities to live vicariously through other men’s greatness i.e. emptying your drive out by watching sports instead of actually pursuing your own fitness goals
-It also manifests as wanting daddy's approval (not the Jihad kind, the figurative variety) basically you’re not man enough to validate yourself so you want another dude to do that for you
-being reactive to women, trying to control them or hang onto their coattails
This is the road to being a man in your prime. This is when you don’t have to chase girls anymore, they chase you. You chase your purpose.
What is that thing Deida says about men who know their own edge being trustworthy. Essentially as you shed your own excuses not only are you less likely to be emotionally manipulated.
The more you empty out your own rationalizations the more you see when other people are stuck in that frame of mind and you come to accept it less and less. It’s almost as if there is a hidden frequency of communication between badasses
This is the kind of motivation that says I don't care if I'm going to fail I'm going to try anyways.
The kind of mindset where a rival inspires you to be better instead of getting down at the fact that someone's better than you.
This imbues you with the kinds of self reliance where it doesn't matter what your circumstances are, you trust in your own body to figure it out and survive.
Embody your masculine and be in tune with that drive. Balls in one hand, gun/sword/typewriter/pen/steering wheel/dumbell/calculator in the other.
All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!'
You owe it to yourself to never let things fall past a certain point.