First Dates: Who should pay??

What's going on fellas I thought I'd get this out there as it's a question that's come up repeatedly.

The basic question is should guys pay for first dates or not. It's a multi-layered onion and a can of worms to boot. If you try to split the bill, 80% of the time a girl will judge you for it, even if she CLAIMS on her Facebook (lol) that guys and girls should go dutch. The problem is she doesn't actually feel that way inside, will judge you harshly for it, but will figure out some other way to rationalize why she didn't like you. $%it happens



However on the OTHER side of the equation, if you DO decide to pay for the date, a girl might automatically place you in an inferior "he's paying for me because I'm a princess and deserve it" type category. A LOT of girls can't help but think less of you for providing for them without any kind of investment from them. This seems sad because as a man we kind of enjoy paying for a girl and don't see it the same way a girl does.

So it's the proverbial catch-22. It seems you're screwed either way. I had a buddy tell me "Well I'll just tell her that we should go dutch." This isn't a solution either because it paints a picture of you having to appeal to some external social norm to justify your decisions. Which she'll view as being weak.

The simple solution is to make her invest in the date as well, by delegating something for her to pay for. I pay for most of the date, but will say, "Ok leave a couple bucks for the tip." OR, if it's somewhat pricier a date I'll go with something like "Ok I got the food, but you got the pitcher of beer." OR, if we're at a bar and I've gotten us a couple drinks I'll make her pay for a few rounds of pool. If it's a movie, I got the tickets but she'll get some popcorn or a box of candy to split.

I also like to make girls buy a tub of ice cream to bring over to my house, lol. Or they'll bring sixpacks, rotisserie chicken, or whatever random stuff I decide. If I happen to be cooking dinner then you better BELIEVE the girl is picking up something to contribute to the date. I've had a girl show up without anything and been like, "Cool. Come back when you have the goods."

Women want to feel invested in an interaction with a guy, plus they're nurturers. This plan appeals to BOTH of these sides of her. It makes her feel like she's placed value in something, that being you, and automatically raises your value and worth in her eyes. Also she gets to feel like she's taking care of you.