Online opening message

Gentlemen, give this man what he wants!

Hey man, I have a specific style with my opening messages but I get a high response rate. The typical format I use is one that incorporates humour, leadership, and freedom from outcome into an adventure projection. You can try fucking with intent, but I tend to slip that in after the dialogue gets going

"Hey Im planning an adventure to a far away land inhabited by frog people and ruled by bob saget"
"You appear to be a match of mine and consequently would make a great companion in holy matrimony. Contact me back if you are interested in consensual sex for the sole purpose of reproduction...in the missionary position"
"Wadup girl, I wanna take you on a romantic date. I'm thinking board games, wine and cheese, with phil collins feel it the air playing in the backround"
"Naked scary movie marathon, whilst sampling a variety of exotic ben and jerry's flavours"
"You appear to be a match of mine and may therefore be a potential soul mate. Please send me your resume, social insurance number and a scanned copy of your passport so I can further you along the selection process and/or steal your identity"

This one is based off of one I found from the body building list, I changed it just slightly. I've used it a lot with a moderate response rate:

"For our first romantic date, I'd light some candles, set the table with my classiest silver, come up real close behind you and hold you tight and quietly whisper in your ear, 'I got a Swanson TV dinner with your name on it', then proceed to fill a wine glass with Welches grape juice"

usually ends up with her responding with her wanting to adjust the swanson tv dinner to some other type of tv dinner (although, I've tried it with others, and then they just want to switch it again- so really, it's just like an auto response thing, I think) or wanting apple juice instead of grape etc. etc.

my new favourite:

'hey, this is your computer speaking. Some guy from pof mailed you so I intercepted it. He looks kinda dumb but maybe he is genuine... idk?! Anyway, he seems a decent bloke so I'm keeping him for myself... thanks :)'

I read somewhere that UK girls are more into self-deprecating humor than most cultures so ymmv. Reasonable success so far for me though :)

I have sort of the same problem. For open girls on fb or datesites and stuf, I don't have material for open it. On this site are enough openers, but in won't work here in the netherlands. I translate it to dutch, and than it's no longer the same you know ;p. (Sometimes it works, or with girls that not so pretty)

What work (than in hollands hea) is:
''Hey I come on je page, and i found your cool/cute/whatever because I like your hairstyle/clothes/earrings/whatever''
''He, what's up. I come on your page, and I think your cute/cool. Invite my on msn/blackberry/whatever than we chat, ok.

But the problem is. They are fucking silly. Than the girl think I'm a little gay or what. When after they chat with me than I'm not they have expected. And I feel no coolness with that, I don't like it. It have no humor or sex tint.

I know for you it's difficult, but if you can help me. Please. :D

First off thanks for the help guys, much appreciated. I think I'm going to go along the lines of the following:

I'm taking my jazz flute skills to the next level you seem like the perfect groupie...I'll take you to the finest flute venues in the city, we'll have a beautiful love child named Mr. Charlie Sheen Junior, and our days will be littered with endless lovemaking at the local Hampton Inn.

Would add something in there, like "Do you like the name Charlie?" Or something that asks her a question and gets her thinking about her opinion on stuff in a fun way.. e.g. engaging her. Otherwise you just send her a msg that doesnt require a response. She'll be like *giggle* okthxbai!

thanks mh, added the question, getting some solid responses so far

fyi I've been reading the forum for a couple weeks, love all the stuff you guys put up - hopefully I'll have enough experience under my belt soon to make some meaningful contributions