Sober Report#2

I'm just gonna title all my reports like that so that I can hold myelf accountable in small ways, like that. Also- Brad's most recent article on quitting alcohol in-field is real good. 2 out of the 3 sticking points he mentioned in his talk are the exact sticking points I mentioned in my last post, so I def. recommend reading it.

So before I went out I decided to hit up some supter intense cardio and then afterwards, I grabbed two of my friends and we chilled out and I taught them how to meditate and we sat for 30 minutes. Damn, with finals and graduation and all the stress that comes with that shit, I can't tell you how fucking good it feels to just get on the cardio and get that shit out. It's like you just take all of your worries and just THROW them at the machine... and then to sit for 30 minutes afterwards and just get a little cooldown.

Heh, the cool thing about going out sober is that i basically remember every set I did lmao. This is going to be so money for learning. I only was out for like 45 minutes, maybe an hour tops but I wanted to get out and just talk to people and get some more experience. Went out solo and without alcohol- two areas of pushing my comfort zone.

1st set: Standing at the crosswalk, 6.5/10 redhead standing next to me. I look over, she smiles at me. Hold eye contact. Go in direct with "hey"... She responds well, we chat for a bit but I can sense myself going into rapport mode so I just tell her, "Look, I'm going to xbar, come grab a drink with me".. She kindly refuses. But I still felt good. Was getting into state and got my first approach out

Get to xbar, walk in and kinda do a lap, then realize I'm being a chode. So I walk to the back, walk to the front and then approach the first set I see. I decided to just do that thing that Tyler talks about in one of his videos where it's just like "hit hit hit hit" since I'm not going to be out for a while, I just wanted to get approaches in, get taht reference experience, get used to it sober.

2nd set: three girls and a dude (looked gay) standing at the bar. Walk up to the girl I think is hot (7/10)... I walk up kinda moving my shoulders back and forth in an exaggerated way, moving my head left to right in a similar fashion, kinda silly, with both arms pointed out towards her,

Me: "Hey there"
Her: " hey?"
Me: "I have no friends and everybody hates me, come talk to me"
Her: "*group laughs* Ohhh don't worry, we'll be friends with you"

Chit chat for a little bit, but still falling into rapport man. Engage her friends. Like when I'm talking I'm giving the whole group eye contact but slowly, I'm giving her more and more eye contact and then I move up to the bar and semi iso her (the way we were all positioned, if she was talking to me at the bar, her friends were just out of the convo) Get more into my zone. We talk for prob 15 minutes. I eject (bleh too early... i have no clue why I ejected)

3rd set: A group of 5 girls sitting down. This looked too easy lmao. So I went up and was just like, "yo" and threw up a little peace sign and immediately sat down, without even asking. I noticed a look go through the group, kinda like, "yoo what's this guy doing..." That's cool though, it's understandable, so it didn't bother me. I didn't have much intent, as it was a pretty big group and I wasn't sure who I even wanted to go for, so I slipped into my old habbit of just talking to whoever seemed the most attracted to me. I am going to make a point in the future to fight this comfort zone, push it and see where I can get. I'm going to make a point to not engage girls who are immediately attracted to me. Anyway, I give eye contact to one girl and just give her this creepy ass smile but its kinda funny, so I start laughing... she seems a little more chilled out. I go into rapport mode... nothin really happens

4th set: Claw- what's up.... Insta blowout. haha oh well

Last set: Walk outside and see a gal smoking and talkign to the bouncer. I walk up to the girl and I'm like, "You're fucking hot"... she laughs and is like, "You're cute too, what's your name" Give her my name and claw her in to my side. I start talking to both her and the bouncer, chiln out. I'm still in rapport mode but because I went in strong and have her in the claw, I feel like it's not friend to friend anymore. We're talking about finals and whatnot. I start just opening up to her how I'm stressed out and how graduation is a little scary/exciting/sad etc... man, it really is. A lot of emotions come up at this point of time.

One strength, I'm starting to notice that I have is that I have a really confident way of expressing my own insecurities and feelings. Like I feel like I can tell a girl something super beta, like, "Yeah, I'm actually really nervous about graduation" but I guess I say it in a way that's sorta confident and I actually don't think it even comes across beta at all. I like this about myself, and I'm not going to start hiding my emotions from people, I feel taht this is somethign I do that actually shows myself for who I am and comes from a place of trust and confidence. Like I'm not standing there begging her for help, it's sorta like, "yeah I'm nervous. But babe, I may be nervous but I got my shit on lock and you have nothing to worry about, I can handle myself"... anyway- she starts opening up. That's another thing about being open with your own emotions- 9 times out of 10, the girl will start to open up about herself and then the eye contact gets super strong and then it's LOCKED. Anyway- I felt that inner state building, and I felt the eye contact, but I didn't make a move cause I just pussed out. This won't happen again. Next time I go out, it's, "MAKEOUT OR DIE". Grab her number and leave.

Overall, it was a good night. I went out alone, I approached and I didn't drink. That's good enough for me, for the time being. This is all about pushing my comfort zone and that's what I'm doing. I'm gonna give myself time and not rush this. But also keep in mind my comfort zones and make an effort to push them when I can.