Berktown Report: Dealing with people who have ABSOLUTELY ZERO sense of social cues//ZERO ability to ping

So last night I went up to berktown for a little gaming sesh... kinda focusing on total relaxation right now and getting my stress levels down after finals and the end of the year, before I head off to europe and start working again but didn't wanna go totally cold.

Weird as fuck night.

Met up with a wing over there and immediately I knew something was WAY off with this guy. On the phone, he was straight rambling... like a dude who is practicing the "mouthpiece" but doesn't have any connection with reality... lmao, like seriously guys...

But in my head I was like, "Wtvr, how bad can it be..."

Anyway- meet up and everything is confirmed. dude is weird as shit. Like he is non-stop talking, with absolutely no recognition of any social cues. We're talking ZERO. Like I head over to his place cause it's kinda early and I had told him I wanted to stop by and drop some shit off cause he was gonna let me crash for the night... I get there and put my stuff in his room and im sitting on the bed and he starts telling me like all about his day, which is cool. And I'm listening for a bit but it's like he's straight up just talking AT me, and not in any sort of way that you want... it's not that he's like talking at me and throwing emotion at me nad self amusing or wtvr... he's just talking at me but it's a ramble.

At one point I'm sick of it so I get on my phone and start looking at shit on the forum and he just keeps talking lol... At one point he finally gets it and is like, "Yo man, you're not even listening" and I look at him and I go, "Dude. You're talking like a cracked out monkey" but I kinda laugh when I'm saying it and he starts to laugh and is like, "haha sorry man, just tryna be social" and I'm like... OHHHH BOYYYYY but hell, it'l be an experience.

Head out to bars. On the way, I'm warming up with street sets, just giving people high five and being like, "X bar party... lez go" and then we get to the bustop and some girl is waiting and I go up and I'm like, "Yo what bus are you taking" and she's like, "blah bus" and I'm all, "Sweet, same, it'l be here in 10... how are you"

We vibe for a little and then my wing coems in and starts rambling and I'm like ehhhhh so I grab him and pull him away.

BABYSITTING TIME YAYYYYY

On the bus I see him approach some dudes to get warmed up? And even the dudes are weirded out lmao...

Anyway- get to the first bar and I approach this cute blondie and we're vibin, talkin for a bit and he comes up and like as soon as he does, i relocate to beside her so like we're the base of the triangle and he's the point... I feel this is a great way to alienate the third person in the talk triangle without saying anything. He comes up and starts to ramble and the girl like looks at me and then looks at him and then back to me and is like, "Are you friends with him??" and I'm like, "Yeah, he's one of my good buddies (Idk I like to say this because I have this stupid belief that I can pull people around me up just by being positive or wtvr) he's fucking AWESOME" and then literally as I say this the weird shit starts really happening... muther fucker, right in front of her, is all, "Dude. you shouldn't have said that man, why'd you do that? You don't have to give me these hardcore compliments dude... you just don't get it, ugh that was so awkward, seriously you don't have to do that man"

and I'm just like... whatttttttttt theeee fuckkkkk hahha MIND BLOWN

So at this point, the girl starts kinda drifitng away and I'm like FUCK THIS... So I put my arm around the dude and kinda tasssle his hair and I'm just like, "hahaha it's cool man. I got you, just breathe" (I would NEVER tool a wing like this... but this was VERY special circumstances) the girl sees this and kinda laughs cause basically I was just trying to make it VERY obvious, that I am not my friend and my friend is not me and that I understand the weirdness of what's going on...

After I do it, I kinda drift backwards from him and she follows me and we start having a convo again... I claw her in and look her in the eyes and in a real sensual voice I just go, "mmm pumkin juice" LMAO- I had never done this before, I just thought it would be hilarious... She fucking just BURSTS out laughing... like HARDCORE... she's like, "WHAT THE FUCK" but while totally cracking up

Then the dude comes back again and starts rambling and tells some story and I laugh and look at her and I'm like, "do you know so and so?" (who the story was about) and she's like, "nope" and I'm like, "K good, neither do I' and we laugh again but then he just keeps rambling and like I don't know how to control the kid at this point and the girl drifts off... I'm just like wtvr, it's cool.

there were a bunch more sets at that bar but nothing came of tonight, which is cool. I wanna get to the really weird part though... LMAO- YES... THIS was NOT the weird part...

So we head over to another bar... and like at this point as we're walking and he's rambling I'm like, "Dude. You need to shut the fuck up and talk about normal stuff and in a normal way" like he's literally talking META style... Like he'll be talking about what he's talking about and like commenting on our surrounds and shit... like anything he observes he'll say... for example, "Oh wow, dude I can't believe i just said that, that was so weird, ugh wtvr man it's just that I understand socail environments so well and i see so much and im just trying to get you to seee it ahh you just don't understand wtvr okay so like yesterday i was at the apple store....." zero breaks, zero breaths... dude has lungs of steal

Anyway- head to the other bar and we get in and there's a group of girls (like 5 or so) and he's like, "Wait here, don't come with me I'm going to approach this" and I'm like, "the fuck?" like it clearly was a set MADE for two people... dividie the 3 and 2 and conquer. I'm like uhhh, okay... lmao so he leaves and I see a seated group of 3 and literally at his point I'm having a seriously MIND BLOWN night so I sit down with them and I'm like, "What's up guys' and they're like, "Hey?" and I'm like... "My friend just told me not to go talk with people with him... sooo you guys seem fun, what's up" and they start laughing as I'm telling them the story of this dude and like pointing at him and shit... anyway- his set is getting blown out (uhhmm duh?) so I head over and literally in front of all these people, dude goes, "Come on man, i told you I wanted to do this one on my own like seriously man, i'm trying to do this and i never get a word in edge wise when your around" and I'm just like, HUH?!?! all you ever do is talk bro... lmao...

At this point I bail on the dude and just head back to his place and get my shit and peace out... One of the most WEIRD nights I've ever had... I had a bunch of sets and did decent work... didn't get anything but for me, it wasn't as bad as it sounds... really just wanted to write some shit down about this guy because he was honestly one of the weirdest guys I have ever met in my entire life...

Like I can't describe this rambling stuff to you guys. It's like he had absolutely ZERO sense of social cues and ZERO sense that other people were involved in the interaction at all... Like totally just spitting words at people... idk..

Anyone ever meet anyone like this? If you have it's VERY obvious and VERY creepy.