Am I Really Being that Overconfident? (Text Game)
The way Mw and I were looking at it was later down the road, as in during the date and then in the bedroom. Maybe it would've worked in getting the meetup BUT she never would've put out for me cause in person. i'd have to deal w her shit.
?
And why would she meet and not fuck? Or, do you mean you think you'll have to meet her twice before sex?
The girl did say "I don't date" so if she meets doesn't that mean the possibility of sex is on the table? (She's not taking boyfriend applications anytime soon)
I had another thought on this, specifically regarding the origional question of overconfidence.
Starting from "You're welcome" you're pushing forward with trying to escalate (to a meeting) while she is giving you a slow/stop signal "I see you're extremely modest". And you just keep pushing forward without dealing with the obstacle (plowing?). And, by the way, you still do this in a funny way "Good, saves us a lot of time them" and "I'm still going to have to pick you out something hawt though", but continue on with "So step up your game girl".
Instead you should have disarmed it either through humor (I used the "humble and ready to tumble" as a half joke, but that may have gotten a laugh), and/or through making the jokes us vs. them instead of you vs. them. For example, in the begining you're talking about getting chased by sorority girls, making a joke about how awesome you are, but you're not giving her any value. At some point you need to create an us vs. them frame and let her in on it. For example you could say
"I'm not going to appologize for the fact that you and I would make beautiful babies."
"Even though, kids are 100% not in my plans right now."
Or what was mentioned in another thread:
"We'd make beautiful hair babies."
So that the frame shifts from "I'm awesome" to "We're awesome" which then would allow her to accept it without losing value, and give you an IOI.
Her: Im about to go shopping hbu?
Her: I see you're extremely modest
Me: You're welcome
Me: In town visting a friend for the day
Me: Special occassion? Or are you just buying something sexy for our date later
Her: Haha
Her: I dont date
Her: Sorry
Me: Good, saves us a lot of time then
Me: Im still gonna have you pick out something hawt though
Her: You're a trip (crying laughing emoji)
Me: But im headed out of town soon
Me: So step up your game girl
Her: Yawn im good
Merv I'd really like to get one of my students responding on this thread to you. He had the same habit of trying to micro-manage every little layer and step of an interaction, but of course all that was happening is he was losing the forest for the trees. Your observations are sound, they just don't have a lot of significance in the grand sweep of things. Really the only kind of micromanaging that needs to get done in a text convo is logistical "next steps". As long as you understand the greater emotions and communications at play, you don't have to micromanage the stuff you're mentioning.
Ok, so if he went that direction, those three messages (the two in a row and the next), could constitute the moment of realness, and then he could immediately go back to cocky and funny. Like give her a little hint that he can be deep and relate, and then immediately go back to teasing. Perhaps now give her something to chase after, the "real him"?Perhaps with a girl like this you're making little dashes into comfort and rapport then having to retreat back into attraction/banter before she percieves neediness etc.
And maybe if she calls him out on switching back something like
"Yeah, maybe I'm narcisstic because it's Tinder and not face to face. Then again you did draw that out of me a bit here, that's a good sign. Only way to know for sure is to meet up."
And with a more balanced/normal girl that may have been enough of a window to go into C&R and stay there?
For context I've had interactions with girls in night game where they want to stay in banter forever. One example the girl and I were vibing for close to an hour, I won over her friend, we were in isolation or semi-isolation, but she still wasn't playing "nice". So I told her, "Say something nice to me or I'll walk away" or "Say something you like about me or I'll walk away" and I meant it. I knew that if I didn't extract that out of her we'd be at odds all night (and I guessed she was invested enough to comply). So she does, and she tells me she "likes me, and hates that she likes me". We did go home together, and she definately had emotional problems (which I found out on subsequent dates).
In other words a girl who has emotional problems -> acts bitchy = constantly pushes the seduction back to banter and avoids comfort and rapport. And, perhaps needs that style to be mirrored by a guy who is 90% asshole and 10% nice.
Also, maybe this would have all been avoided with:
Her: I see you're extremely modest
Me: Humble and ready to tumble
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
A couple more things I want to add. I like your "Humble and ready to tumble" I'll be using that tonight. Lol
It seems you have the MM model engrained in your head to define the stages of an interaction/relationship with a girl. In truth it's only a patchy framework and to be honest in most instances it simply doesn't work well enough to describe what's happening.
Plus it hides blind spots and covers up inadequacies. You're equating a girl wanting to stay in banter forever as having emotional problems, when in actuality women generally do this because all a guy's able to display is stubborness and resolve, not an actual personality. You can banter with these deadpan one liners and seeming emotional quips and gimmicks all you want, but if these bitchy type girls actually liked you, they'd calm down and act like they wanted you to stay. In actuality what a lot of these logic-centered guys that take an almost mathematical approach to game are actually lacking, is a personality.
Sometimes the bitchy and/or ice queen types make the best girlfriends. Once they relax their armaments and draw off their legions they open up like flowers.
Ok, so if he went that direction, those three messages (the two in a row and the next), could constitute the moment of realness, and then he could immediately go back to cocky and funny. Like give her a little hint that he can be deep and relate, and then immediately go back to teasing. Perhaps now give her something to chase after, the "real him"?Perhaps with a girl like this you're making little dashes into comfort and rapport then having to retreat back into attraction/banter before she percieves neediness etc.
And maybe if she calls him out on switching back something like
"Yeah, maybe I'm narcisstic because it's Tinder and not face to face. Then again you did draw that out of me a bit here, that's a good sign. Only way to know for sure is to meet up."
And with a more balanced/normal girl that may have been enough of a window to go into C&R and stay there?
For context I've had interactions with girls in night game where they want to stay in banter forever. One example the girl and I were vibing for close to an hour, I won over her friend, we were in isolation or semi-isolation, but she still wasn't playing "nice". So I told her, "Say something nice to me or I'll walk away" or "Say something you like about me or I'll walk away" and I meant it. I knew that if I didn't extract that out of her we'd be at odds all night (and I guessed she was invested enough to comply). So she does, and she tells me she "likes me, and hates that she likes me". We did go home together, and she definately had emotional problems (which I found out on subsequent dates).
In other words a girl who has emotional problems -> acts bitchy = constantly pushes the seduction back to banter and avoids comfort and rapport. And, perhaps needs that style to be mirrored by a guy who is 90% asshole and 10% nice.
Also, maybe this would have all been avoided with:
Her: I see you're extremely modest
Me: Humble and ready to tumble
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male