Froyo to my Dorm LMR: "I'm sorry if I was in any way disappointing..lol"
I'll be honest man, not the best idea to re-engage with sexual disqualification...especially after the fact you two DID have a great time together. Then, you kinda went and hyped yourself up when she already knows who you are after the big emotional step you two made when you almost had sex. Didn't happen, but regardless, you two shared an awesome moment.Lol.
It was the poor re-engagement that did you over. You need to smooth back into a situation like this but you said "Fuck this. I'm jammin my dick through this glass window." Probably why she unfriended you on snap afterwards.
Damn it Spider Man, consult with the Avengers before you act!
hahaha oh tits. She unfriended me a few days ago not after this!
What would have you suggested Jihad?...or suggest if I was to re-engage in a few weeks. I actually thought it wasn't too bad man it was almost too cute that's why I added that second text which was cocky funny. Plus, we were far from sex she wouldn't even touch my dick lol I was prizing here. It was a good time overall though, not reason for her to hate me.
It was escalation that did me dirty the more I think about it the more I realize she had no sexual charge to her whatsover all she wanted to do was kiss and I just pushed like a wild man. I am confused on what the correct reegagement would be, but I can see how making it sexual may force her to relive an awkward moment.
Oh she unfriended you beforethe txtxs?
That's diff then.
Just to clarify, the txts werent bad at all lol they were funny..just the timing was wrong. If you knew she unfriended you then why didnt you text her something about it? That's what I would've done but make it sincere then playful
Ex: Hey (insert nickname), was gonna send u this awesome snap but cant for some reason (plausible deniability). Everything ok babe?
^Something like that. You can still comeback from this. But there's something wrong here...
Maybe you did something fucked up in her books which is why she'd take a drastic step to unfriend you ...which I doubt but you know best.
OR, she's definitely overreacting and you'll eventually have to settle that. More likely than you screwing up based on your writings.
Save the prizing after you settle this issue. Maybe she feels awkward about it all and her giving you LMR. Her concerns could be real thats why I suggested asking her and giving her the benefit of the doubt eith re-engagement.
no dont wait a few weeks...too long to forget about you and not care. This is an immediate issue.
Thank Jihad, I really appreciate the insight my brotha.
I agree there is an issue that needs to be addressed. She unfriended me right after the date on Saturday night. I sent a mass snapper making fun of nickleback (lol) and I noticed her snap was "pending." It did some detective work and found that she viewed my snap of ice skating (it wasn't us together just a snapchat making fun of the crowds getting in my way), then she didn't view any of my snaps from my night out afterwards.
It is just mind blowing to me that she would do that after the crazy amount of intimacy we had. First date was good, and my sexual escalation was just not dialed in right, but she was obviously turned on and quite captivated by me. Judging from the texts leading into the second date she really wanted to see me, she even apologized for being "dissapointing".
Everything was great during the second date too. Yes I was a little too lovey dovey but i'm NOT some chump she was very very engaging towards me. She shared very personal shit as well.
We went to my house and we were making out waiting for my brother to open the door, she pushed away and said she didn't want to look like a slut. Then we casually just said hi to my dad and brother but I didn't like sit there and formally introduce her and take the time to make her feel as comfortable as she should have. This is something that sort of jumps out at me now. Fast forward, and she won't kiss me in front my brother when he's not even looking.
I heat things up and goes into her little speech about how she is trying to withhold sex blah blah tired of hookups and feeling like trash as I said earlier. Most serious LMR I've ever heard. Then as I said above I try to playfully nibble on her and grind on her and she's just not having it, but at no point did she tell me to get the fuck off or anything. I jokingly slap her ass and stuff and she's like omg somebody might hear that, of course i'm like calm down what're you talking about. I like pick her up and move her body around and she's just not having it, I think she makes a funny comment how she's gonna break something cuz she had some weirdo dream about hurting her back. I'm embarrased just thinking about the escalation because there was like no sexual charge to her BUT when I softened up and just kissed she seemed to enjoy. As things concluded she was still sitting there holding my hand caressing my leg and I was making jokes telling her to stop before I get a boner. All I remember of what she said during all of this was, "I'm sorry for dissapointing you" and "I haven't decided If I want to go down this road with you yet."
The ride home was normal too. We held hands for a bit and I was grabbing her leg. Nothing out of the ordinary happened really. Like I get it too lovey dovey not enough prize, but even chodes pull this shit off after a few dates they get sex. I don't know how I could have pissed her off, maybe she really didn't trust my intentions after alll. I just want to get to the bottom of things, even if she tells me that I fucked up somehow and we are done. Like I said much earlier rumor has it she was a banging a lot of dudes at one point and maybe she really just thinks i'm all about sex and fears that. There was never any ultimatum or hint that we were done-zo.
Just messing around here..
"Hi beb. I was gonna send you a wicked awesome snapchat but I noticed you unfriended me. Everything okay with you?"..."by the way you still owe ME ice cream"
"Listen, I know things got weird last time. To be honest, I just wanna have a good time with you girly, whatever that entails doesn't matter to me"
"I apologize if you felt like I put any weird expectations on you beb."..."none of that shit matters lets just have fun together, after all you still owe ME ice cream"
"Dayum beb I see you unfriend me on snapchat. I get it, things were weird last time. Let me know whats running through your head and we can sort this out"
"I get it I came on a little too strong. That's not what I'm about. Obviously we were on two seperates pages, lets sort this out babe"
"I was going to send you a wicked awesome snapchat and then I noticed you unfriend me. Dayyum beb, I get it things were weird last time. Let me know whats running through your head and we can sort things out."...."I just wanna have a good time with you, whatever that entails doesn't matter to me"
"I was going to send you a wicked awesome snapchat then I noticed you unfriend me. Everything okay beb? I apologize for putting any weird expectations on you. Lets sort this out"
Just messing around here..
"Hi beb. I was gonna send you a wicked awesome snapchat but I noticed you unfriended me. Everything okay with you?"..."by the way you still owe ME ice cream"
"Listen, I know things got weird last time. To be honest, I just wanna have a good time with you girly, whatever that entails doesn't matter to me"
"I apologize if you felt like I put any weird expectations on you beb."..."none of that shit matters lets just have fun together, after all you still owe ME ice cream"
"Dayum beb I see you unfriend me on snapchat. I get it, things were weird last time. Let me know whats running through your head and we can sort this out"
"I get it I came on a little too strong. That's not what I'm about. Obviously we were on two seperates pages, lets sort this out babe"
"I was going to send you a wicked awesome snapchat and then I noticed you unfriend me. Dayyum beb, I get it things were weird last time. Let me know whats running through your head and we can sort things out."...."I just wanna have a good time with you, whatever that entails doesn't matter to me"
"I was going to send you a wicked awesome snapchat then I noticed you unfriend me. Everything okay beb? I apologize for putting any weird expectations on you. Lets sort this out"
Cut out the apology. You didn't do anything wrong here man. Don't think like that. You BOTH enjoy sex. ;)
Personally, I'd leave out the cheeky "you still owe me.." save that for later
Simple will do you well here:
Good points!
"Hi beb. I was gonna send you a wicked awesome snapchat but I noticed you unfriended me. Everything okay with you?"
I like this one. "everything okay with you" gives her space without sounding guilty for being a sexual guy. I'm just not sure if I should ackowledge that the LMR escalation was weird.
May leave out any pet names too, and just keep this casual with no fluff.
Here's what I'd do;
hey babe, sent u an awesome snap but won't go through for some reason..Everything ok punkin?
hmmmm thats good. Its almost too lovey dovey tho.
In that scenario I actually need a snap lol I'd rather just be like I noticed you unfriended me before I sent it.
wait...Am I going fuckin GAY of course I can send an awesome snap
https://www.manwhore.org/lmr-series-part-i-being-the-prize/
Ok I get it now. I read this 3 years ago!!! lol
"Hi beb I just nerded out hard in Organic Chem. I sent you a wicked awesome snap on my way to breakfast but it didn't go through for some reason. Everything okay with you?"
Hmmm now this speaks of MY day and MY awesome snap and it is somewhat prizey without being a cock. Then I confront "her" problem.
Thats better, fits your style more too
"Hey beb. I'm nerding out rn and sent you an awesome Orgo snap but it wont go through for some reason"...."everything ok?"
Snapchat is a pictures of my notes: (when your triene to go skiing but stuck at school diene) <---This is a weirdo science joke she shared with me and I twisted it to be WAY better and high value. It actually appears like a mass snap chat. Also, I am achoring her on a memory when the man-woman dynamic was pretty fuckin good between us. I'm proud of myself rn :)
You need to use authority and the transition to prizing
-the best plan is having no plan
-things have a funny way of working out when they unfold organically
-act out of love not fear
-I get it I may cast a spell on you anyway
-I don't care about your granny panties and weird butt
-you still owe ME ice cream
...if no response use authority
-I didn't pin you as one of those girls to go hiding under a rock. So lame
This is the game plan from now on. Ideally I get her on the phone and verbally shape shift this entire interaction, it was all just a bad dream.
Her: Honestly no...the other night made me feel really uncomfortable. Its not something I'd ever want to date and I really thought you weren't that kind of guy
Me: I respect your honesty. Lets move past that night. Right now, I just want to have fun with you without any expecatations
Me: After all, you still owe ME ice cream
Checkin in from Mount Olympus
Her: That's not even an apology. I dont think you understand. I cant move past a night where I felt violated. You literally continued to try multiple times after I said no. Obviously you had expecations and I didn't meet them. And I defintely had expecations that you didn't meet. Please stop trying to lighten the situation I'm not in the joking mood
Me: (I try to call her but she doesn't answer)
Me: Listen, I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortbale. I have no problem admitting when I crossed a line. Don't judge my character based on one event, we've all made mistakes when it comes to romance because it is SO emotional
Me: You would probbaly be surpised to hear that my expectatiions were far from what you think. I had great time with you. I don't just invite girls to my house like nothin. Everything I did was because I like you punkin, I wasn't communicationg properly and as a man I didn't handle the situation properly.
At this point i'm not trying to win. I do NOT want a girl to feel violated and a real apology was warranted. Stuff like this can be super damaging to a woman, and I had zero intention of something like this happening.
Few things man:
1) In her eyes: this is serious and you know the kind of seriousness i'm talking about
2) You didn't do anything wrong, why are you saying you crossed a line? I thought you were playfully trying to bust past LMR? In her eyes, you were trying to take something from her so there's something we are all missing in terms of the interaction.
3) When she opened up to you, you tried to blow past it and make her owe you? Nah man. Furthermore, you're still putting it on her with the "Don't judge me.." stuff. There's a fine line between an apology because you fucked up and an apology because you're just trying to get out of the situation cause it makes you uncomfortable.
4) Read the signs: How uncomfortable was she really when you were trying to bust pass LMR? Did she over exaggerate or did you under estimate? Girls will go crazy accusation on you if you let them.
Very very careful here man
Just chill back and let mw chime in if he does
Few things man:1) In her eyes: this is serious and you know the kind of seriousness i'm talking about
2) You didn't do anything wrong, why are you saying you crossed a line? I thought you were playfully trying to bust past LMR? In her eyes, you were trying to take something from her so there's something we are all missing in terms of the interaction.
3) When she opened up to you, you tried to blow past it and make her owe you? Nah man. Furthermore, you're still putting it on her with the "Don't judge me.." stuff. There's a fine line between an apology because you fucked up and an apology because you're just trying to get out of the situation cause it makes you uncomfortable.
4) Read the signs: How uncomfortable was she really when you were trying to bust pass LMR? Did she over exaggerate or did you under estimate? Girls will go crazy accusation on you if you let them.
Very very careful here man
Just chill back and let mw chime in if he does
Honestly, it was the most serious LMR I have ever experienced. I under estimated. It was playful and I never attempted to forcefully remove any clothing I ALWAYS stopped when she gave resistance . but like I said she never really bit. She never said "no" "stop" "get off" she was like "ha! yeah im not sure about this why you nibbling on me." ,"hehe I don't really like being picked up," "you're weird." That being said I really do feel like I fucked up a bit. My intentions were not to be domineering but I can see how she felt violated. She did not express herself adequately with a stern statement of disapproval but I do think I over did things. The redeeming qualities of the interaction, however, is that she had no problem kissing me and she would cuddle up against me ie she's holding my hand before we leave and caressing my leg. In which I jokingly told HER to stop.
It would equate it to this situation: https://www.manwhore.org/when-lmr-busting-techniques-go-too-far-a-word-o...
She baited me here but I seriously do feel bad. I may just stop but this is what I want to say.
"wanna make this clear for anyone you interact with. When you're interested in someone you give a strict no and you get up and separate yourself. You don't beat around the bush and continue to kiss, hold hands, of caress someone's leg. Why do you think I told you to stop right before we left? All you had to do was be clear with me at that moment in time that you just wanted to watch the movie. I'm sorry you felt violated. We miscommunicated with each other.
homie relax and dont fucking send that lol
It sounds like she rationalized after that you "went too far." But the biggest issue here is by going logical and giving legitimacy to her incorrect feelings you admitted fault. Now the bullshit she made up is being cemented as real. This is a big deal because you just gave her the ammo she needs to be the "totally not slutty girl who got raped." If she went to the cops and those last 3 texts came up it would look very bad. Now I'd say there's a 99% chance that doesn't happen based off the knowledge pulled from my own butthole, but still, don't give people the tools to ruin you!
I know you like this girl and have only the best intentions, but don't say shit back to her man; wait for the master to chime in. This is sensitive territory and I don't even know if this can be saved.
Bro, You may go through a storm to get through this. Stay strong. Don't fold, just move onto the next girl. STOP talking/ texting to her IMMEDIATELY it will lead to no where good.
Lol you guys are fuckin great. I fucked shit up today.
Now that i'm not emotionally consumed by this I can say a few things:
1.) All of this could have been prevented if properly dialed in the push-pull... like NONE of this would have had to occur. A big epiphany is that when I girl talks about slowing things down for the sake of growing a relationship, THIS IS NOT REAL. This does not happen when you prize yourself.
2.) This is what happens when emotional neediness is not dealt with. The entire emotional rhythm was wrong. It doesn't matter if she is dream girl status, NOTHING has ever been accomplished in a scarcity mindset
3.) As MW mentioned before the escalation was not dialed in correctly, and in a situation like this she needs to be given a feeling that there is a way out. I did not do anything wrong, but I see how she could have been uncomfrotable.
4.) Don't EVER let a woman's bullshit take over the interaction. I let her false perceptions take over mine, and I thought apologizing was the only way out. This could have been A LOT worse though.
Still not sure how I would have handled the recovery, not sure if it was ever recoverable actually. All I know is that I needed to make her see if from my eyes. I was embarassed by the entire situation and had no clue she felt violated, I thought she actually just wasn't into me lol. I was just playin with her and obv she didn't enjoy it which is fuckin lame itself, I had zero need to push sex.
I was upset for a while because I would have kept this girl around BUT after withholding sex twice things weren't off to a good start anyhow. Even if I cleaned things up there may have been a llingering dynamic where she'd think she controls my dick.