How to stop the games and get what you want

Hey Guys, Sorry for the long story but I am trying to describe everything the best I can,,

Im a 48 year old man who needs some advice! Granted, Im probably older than most guys on here but as long as I can get sound advice from people who know what they are talking about, Thats fine with me..A little bit of history..Im a guy who has never really had problems with women until the about 6 years ago when the whit starting hitting the fan

I was with my ex wife for 19 years and married for 17 of them 19 years..We have 3 great kids together..To be honest, I was the one who was the F@ck up,,Almost during our entire marriage I was partying a lot, gambling, and getting myself in trouble..I still maintained my job and bought a house for my family back in 2000 which I still have today..Anyway, back in 2011 my wife at the time told me she was no longer in love with me so we split up..Not long after I find that she started seeing a guy just before our break up and started dating him afterward. That didnt last very long till she dumped his ass but then started dating another guy who she is now with for about 4 years

We never divorced because she has a heart condition and needs my coverage and in Turn she does not kill me with heavy child support..We have a pretty good arrangement and I get to see my kids all the time..She extends a lot of respect for me as I do her but I am never to friendly and I almost never contact her..All threw this she continuously contacted me due to our kids and things like that and sometimes if she heard I was sick she would ask how I am and things like that...Just the other day when there was a attempted Terrorsist attack in NYC she text me to make sure I was ok and said, "oh thank god" When I responded..

Moving onward from that, I have seen a number of women threw the past few years..A number of them I really had no interest in but the few I did seemed to have no interest in me..I had one in particular that I was seening until she started playing games..I liked her but when I made plans with her, she would tell me she would try to come by but give me  no definite answer.. Sometimes she would show and sometimes she wouldnt..Finally I got tired of the shit and told her off..Im not going to sit around with my d@ck in my hand while I could have other plans because I am waiting on her..

We stopped talking for a bit until she started contacting me again either via facebook or email..We would talk a bit and flirt here and there but nothing ever came out of it..It seemed she would show interest to bait me in and when I told her to come by it was the same ole shit! This went on for a few years and even continued till a few months ago..I finally got tired of the BS and removed her from my Facebook page a few months ago..A few days later I got a email from her asking why I did that..I basically told her I am tired of the cat and mouse game..She said she is sorry but has a lot going on..I just ended it with Take care of yourself and good luck.. 

Today I get a facebook message from her..that said this..

Hey how is everything? Any wedding bells yet

So you going to thank me after sex or a blow job?

OMFG OMFG That was not ment for you, I am sooooo sorry!

Its ridiculous! What are the odds that wasnt done on purpose?! Trying to bait me in again?

I guess I am asking you guys how I put an end to this and get what I want? What I want is  to win again..Im not syaing I want my ex back, I dont know if I do..Im not saying I want this nut case either.. What I am saying is that I want to be able to have them if I want them and Im asking for the best strategy I guess...

I feel like threw the past 6 years I have been played..Even so I never initiate contact with either of them, The women in my life contact me and nothing comes of it...I dont like to be rude so I respond most of the time.....All I know is that I have women in my life that I cannot close the deal with and I feel like I am doing something wrong here..Am I being to accessible? Should I not answer them at all unless its my wife about my kids? One of the guys at work told me I should have responded to this girl that sent me that message above with..THANK GOD THAT WASNT FOR ME AND FOR SOMEONE ELSE! 

I just dont want to bring myself to act like a d@ck so I havent responded at all..I dont know if not rsponding is the proper answer or to answer her with a wise ass remark? I just need some direction here because Im tired of not getting what I want from women in my life who can possibly be more than just friends and I feel like Im doing or not doing something to prevent that

Any advice would be appreciated!