Meow's blog/journey (FR's, insights, questions, EVERYTHING)

I am preparing some questions tonight for a meeting I set up tomorrow with a college admissions counselor. I need to figure out all the details about applying. Also, I've already interviewed at this school but I want to check in yet again and show my interest.

Pretty good day so far

WHAT GOT DONE:

-I went to my meeting at the college bright and early, did some vocal training on the way there. Everything went smoothly, she really liked me. Learned all the proper deadlines and format for applications, and she also told me exactly where my passion for my major needs to be expressed. After this meeting I emailed my dad's buddy who is an alumni, and he said he'd write me a recomendation.  Everything is looking good. The counselor said that im ahead of the game in terms of shadowing hours, volunteering,  and recomendations. Excited about that.

-Getting stuff on track finacially as well. Made my online banking account because I noticed I was spending too much cash, now I can keep track of transactions easier.

-did some cleaning, added and edited my whiteboard, and cleaned out and got my computer back running efficiently.

-trying to finish my chemistry summer work currently, once thats out of the way its all about the college apps

WHAT ELSE IS ON MY MIND:

- gotta work on my skills tonight at soccer, running will be minimal so I can really work on my ball handling. We are playing futsol :)

-"Did I ever wake up?" one my books is ordered and on its way

-need to replace a part in my car soon

-need to figure out heavy bag situation

-I would like to set up some sort of backup system on my computer, its getting older now and i'm worried about losing files if it crashes...proactivity :)

-tinder account needs remodeling, not getting matches anymore :(

-making common app account tonight

-need to sign up for another ACT

Feeling clear of uneeded mental bullshit, keeping busy keeps me focused on whats important

I can sometimes feel anxious working with all these forms,papers, documents, numbers and plan because it's a lot to take in. I guess this is where the underlying stillness comes in, I have to realize that this is alll "life sitautions" and not to project too far into the future with them. It's all about the balance.

Went for a unreal mile and half run today in the pouring rain.. it was dramatic. Unfortunately I couldn't use my running app on my phone since it was raining. I need to get at a 6 minute mile pace before soccer tryouts.

also, sounding extremely sexy lately, the drills are really kicking in.

Set up a date for thursday with the last girl that gave me LMR. We've hungout once since and just kicked it, she had to leave early but thats okay...really feel like we made a good guy to girl connection and she really opened up to me. She's no super hottie but shes cool, she kept on talking about how she thinks women actually do belong in the kitchen and how she would love to make me a sandwich :P The she went on telling me how shes bisexual too haha! 

here is the latest convo:

Her: (sends me a huge paragraph about this adventure she had at some "hippy store" and how the eomployee brought her and her friend into a back room to smoke weed)

Me: So this was like an underground weed cult

Me: things could have went MUCH differently when he brought you back into his rape liar

Me: luckily your ok

Her: there were other people there it was crazy

Her: like this was some cray shit

Her: we needs do this

Me: what did they sell at this hippie store besides smoking weed

Her: hemp and tie dye

Her: hahahaha

Me: damn hes probably rollin in the dough

Her: but what was weird was all the clothes were baby sized...

Me: lol thats creepy

Me: did he charge you anything?

Her: nope it was all free

Me: damn thats sweet

Her: it really was

Me: I bet the weed was laced as fuck

Her: well i was seeing things

Me: for reals?

Her: a racoon with cookies that said grandmas cookies on it

Me: holy fuck you smoked crack

Me: brb soccer futsol nig nog faggot

Her: dont touch too many balls

Me: too late

Me: I enjoyed it too

Her: I bet you did

Me: always do

Me: when you back home

Her: thirstday

Her: :)

Me: thirstythursday?

Her: you know it

Me: thats coo lets chill

her: got fireball waiting for me too

Her: and okay lets

Me: okay fireball see ya then

Me: have fun in the woods

Her: im startin my own moonshine bussiness so trust me I will

bouta go watch manwhore and bateman's conference

Yeah, I don't know if I got flaked on or this chick died

Me: yooohoo I got work till 9 ill let ya know wassup after

Her: hello sounds good

Me: still slavin away will be out at 9 then gotta eat and shower

Me: probbaly will be like 9:30 when I get ya

Me: (call at 9:30 no answer)

Me: yoo you still alive? lemme know wassup soon I gotta figure out plans for tonight

she still hasn't read my messages so who fuckin knows at this point

Gonna go read

Keep it up bro!

What part are you needing to replace on your car?

EGR valve

I took it apart a few weeks ago and cleaned it with a compressor, but the check engine light it still on. I realized a few days ago that I didn't actually clean the valve part itself so I gotta check dat shit out again. 

Also... managing finances is one of my super strong skillsets. If you want tips on that as well, I'm MORE than happy to teach you. It's something that I care about a lot, because I come from poverty, and still am working my way out of it. Growing up, my parents were completely ignorant of how to be smart with money. They taught me how to be poor, and really it's not their fault, they just didn't know. I see so many dudes (and girls) making completely stupid mistakes that cost them tens of thousands of dollars.

Dude, EGR valves are cheap. Just buy a new one. It's part of the emissions system though and won't hurt your car at all. All it does is recycle exhaust gasses that get into the crankcase back into the engine to get burned up.

Chances are that's not the reason for your check engine light though

Infinity if you want to start a thread on that that'd be cool. I come from the same place you did, my parents taught me how to be poor, I didn't start becoming a hustler till age 27. And I still suck badly at it but at least I'm completely self-sufficient. I would like to get these guys on the right path starting out. At least get them cognizant of the hustler/entrepreneur mentality/behavior set 

^^double that.  Pretty careful with cash now, but I burned through everything from 16-21. Despite my parents best efforts to teach me otherwise. It makes me sick to think how much I wasted, ker.

Well thank god I've been driving with this problem for awhile now and wasn't sure if it was harming anything. My buddy has a code reader and it said EGR, I'll replace it and see what happens. 

defintely soemthing I can replace on my own right?

Yeah it's not a massive job. If you know where it is, it's usually a matter of unbolting it and putting the new one on.

Yeah, I'd love to. It may take me a little while to get to it tho

Ran a 4.4 mile route today 6 minutes faster than last summers training! SWEET

Gettin those applications done

started reading "Did I ever wake up?"...awesome book, all about positive thinking, law of attraction, and presence. Will share more about it soon!

I'm done at my families cottage at the beach. There is this girl down here I've chilled with a few times over the years, nothing major has gone down. I fingered her last summer when we were super drunk! Lol she apologized to ME afterwards. Anways, she texted me wanting to hang. So we chilled down at the beach. She's a cute little runner girl. I guess she's a good girl type, she told me tonight she has only hooked up with two guys which I really don't think is true. Honestly, it kinda made me go in my head and doubt myself. Then she kept on saying she was sick and was coughing, which yet again was killing the sexual vibe. Which was kinda just me getting in my own way, because she was getting pretty sexual with me talking about how we hooked up last summer. When we walked home I said something like, " id give ya a kiss but your sick" and clawed her in and said goodnight. She was probably pretty damn dissapointed. This pussy attitude is not gonna fly, I got in my own way and that was it. Who knows, this chick probably could have sucked my dick who cares if she had a lttle cough, because she was having a good time. She is probably touching herself right now wishing i'd got the job done.

Goin on a run with girl from last night. Gonna have lots of fun :) Currently creepily mapping out where to take her hehe

Goin on a run with girl from last night. Gonna have lots of fun :) Currently creepily mapping out where to take her hehe

boooooo couldn't get her to suck it. I wanted to run in some sort of woods setting but there were no trails so we were running on the side of the road with cars everywhere. Kept on trying to get her to go on a hiking adventure in the woods but I didn't lead properly and she was getting a littlle suspicious. We were kissing and I was touching her tight little body but there was no opportunity to bring it further. I should have had a better running route and things would have been different, more leading is the answer.

I really had a genuinly good time with her though, and I like the way my game is going now. I'm not taking myself as seriously, not being a try hard, and building connections. I think if I were to put me and this girl in the right situation I would fuck her. Now it's all about progression and leading. 

Soccer training is going good but my leadership has to improve. I was not satisfied with the captains practice tonight, a bunch of the underclassman don't understand team work and how the team operates. I'm not going to snap on them, because that won't do much, but I am going to explain the upperclassman's expectations and coaches expectations as the season arrives. I am going to explain that with the high level of competition this year individual talent is not going to get us anywhere, and how the motivated players that ALSO motivate others are the guys that will make the team.

There are so many young guys on the team with crazy talent that just want to run the show, but they can't fuckin do that if they aren't leading anyone. They aren't even talking out on the field and that's just stupid. 

As far as soccer, you're gonna want to lead by example like you said. You need to be the most vocal player on the field.

Start rewarding players with through balls and set them up if they start being vocal.

I would also recommend taking some of the guys you see the most potential in out for lunch one on one with you.

Build their confidence and shape their behavior to start being more team oriented.

My 2 cents

The soccer season starts tomorrow, I think I've been on the right track. My coach sent the seniors a picture of his stop watch claiming he ran the mile and half in 8:53 yesterday morning, lol thats fast as fuck for an old man... fastest i've ever ran is 9:08 so I've got some serious pushing to do.

This captain thing is going to be difficult, two spots and four players. One of which is already commited D1, but hasn't done jack shit in terms of leadership and captains practices. Two other kids are more skilled than me, but are quiet as fuck. Luckily, the other two captains (coach hand picked in the spring) know I've been a big help so I hope they have a say in the situation. 

oh yeah finished one of my books, fuck yeah!

Actually, even thinking about skill translating into a captains position is the wrong way of looking at it.  My buddy that has already been named captain didn't even play last season due to injury, but the kid has always had the desire to lead the fuck outta the team. His value as a leader has done far more for the team than his actual performance on the field. That's some real shit right there.

I used to think he was a fag for caring so much, now I get it.

thoughts going into try outs tomorrow:

- I trust myself and my body

-BREATHE

- flyod "iim not afraid to die on a treadmill"

-"this too shall pass"

Faggot. 

Coach ran the mile and half with us, holy fuck he was breathing down my neck the whole time. I ran a 8:47 which is 20 seconds faster than anything i've ever ran before, that was a challenge.

I know

can't believe she even gave me a second chance the next day and I still sucked

I want to clarify that her actions did not kill any vibe, my reactions did

- Damn, soccer has been tough the last few days but it is going awesome. My only advice to myself is to be even more vocal, because the coaches said I should be yelling even more. I can not really say anything about the captain position right now, they will not be chosen for a few weeks, but everyone who is going for it is doing great. We are all tight, and would love to all be captains lol. Oh yeah, my skills are getting MUCH better (that was major goal of mine).

-Got my heavy bag hung up, pumped to start punchin around on it

-college applications are 75% done

-fixed my tinder account and gettin matches

-Gotta keep on doing my vocal drills, i've been lazy with them past few days

-gotta find my new book!

Last night I was listening to Tolle and I was thinking about the whole concept of putting aside your "life situations" for inner peace. I also thought about motivated people that become obsessed with their life situation, and spend hours and hours each day building themselves up to reach a goal. I then realized that it is the successful people that balance these two aspects of life. At certain times I believed that Tolle is preaching for people to drop their goals, and simply accept mediocrity, because there are tons of people that are quite average and happy. I took this as an excuse to slack off. That was just a rationalization. Tolle wants people to reach inner peace so they have the proper internal programming to reach their ambitions, and the internal programming/presence must come first because it is the foundation to a successful person. Without the aquired ability to chose what you think and feel, goal chasing is interrupted with energy draining mental chatter.

Yeah this is something I think a lot of people go through when they first get into Tolle, it's like Stephen Covey says in the 7 Habits: you have to be aware of your center. A lot of people who think they're into presence are simply pleasure centerd, using his teaching as a rationalisation to bliss out all day (myself included at one point). A lot of people are also into pickup because they're centered around women or validation, so we have to make the shift to being centered around principles. 

thats a great way of putting it, I gotta read that book.

It's actually really ironic, I feel like once someone is centered and learns that their status, goals, and success does not define them, they are then free to persue goals with even more passion. It is the whole concept of this "this too shall pass" and the extremely vast eternal life we will all live, life becomes more like a video game and you are happy to play it.

new book: hypnosis for beginners

Last night was pretty awesome

My buddy hooked me up with his girlfriend's friend. We picked them up, went for a little walk on some walking trail, and then headed back to my place. I really got to know this girl pretty well, and the vibe was defintely right. Turns out I actually met her like 2.5 years ago! Anyways once we got home we went in the hot tub and chilled out. The other two chilled out there while I told my girl we needed to go inside and set up my xbox, and I rewarded her with a kiss. The other two came in and we all watched music videos for a bit, and I let the whole four way thing unfold (unlike last time), me on the couch and my buddy on the floor. Then I politely told my friend that they didn't have to sit on the floor and that they can go hangout upstairs or in my car if they wanted. Me and my girl were jokingly telling them to ge the fuck out because they were both a little drunk and retarded hahaha.

Once we were alone we just continued where we left off. My escalation was right, and I told her that she gave me a boner and to keep it hard. I took it out and she gladly sucked it without hesitation (I don't know if my game was just good or this girl really liked me). I went to take her pants off and she apologetically said she was on her period. She really seemed dissapointed and it was pretty damn sincere, I told her that was okay  with zero dissapointment in my eyes and she continued to blow me. I had zero ED issues, it was great. I still couldn't blow my load but I'm happy everything was in working order. We had some fun then I put my dick away and we had a tickle fight with our shirts off. We watched a movie and then we slept together on my couch. I really had a good time and I think I handled things positvely without being a butt hurt try hard faggot. Another big thing about this interaction was how well me and my friend handled shit all night, girls defintely like this. Any problem that arose we handled it for the girls.

A great night, and a step forward in my game. I will hangout with her again and handle bussiness and we will both have a blast.

I'm not too sure but I feel like If I challenged her on the whole "im on my period" thing I really would have came off as desperate. By the way she said it I didn't take it as resistance but just a fact and I had to accept it.

wondering what you guys think about this?

Real pirates will sail the red sea, too;)

in my experience this is mostly an issue of the girl thinking that you would have an issue with her being on her period. So if she brings it up, and you can show that you have no problem whatsoever of of fucking her silly on her period, than your are good to go.

so she really just wants to know whether your are comfortable with it.

Some girls are however really uncofortable with it themselves, though, and might need to be really comfortable with you first. But only one way to find out :D

BTW. YOu might wanna put a towel under though ;)

I'm gonna get into photography and video. I used to do it a few years ago but I stopped once my camera broke, I started taking a film class this year and I realized how fun it was again. I will probably wait until December to buy a camera.

anyone into photography? I think it has some great application to it if you become a master, like shooting vidoes and pictures for musicians or filming parties and concerts.

next book: debt free U (book infinity suggested)

Yeah I want to take up photography for sure

I'm even more interested in video. I love filming action sports shit. Like this is beautiful

http://vimeo.com/10005725

I remember back when I used to film skiing in the winter I would meet a bunch of semi-pro guys that were just super friendly cuz everyone wants to get filmed. I'm stupid for not sticking with it.

Now I've gotta get educated and figure out what i'm gonna film with. I don't know if I want a camcorder dedicated to video or a dslr camera. And then there are accessories like steady cams, mics, and lenses.

I'll say right now - improving running endurance and incrneasing veritcal leap is impossible.

Unless you're fat and you can lose weight, that's the only way to do it. 

Someone that is already athletic will not be able to improve sufficiently at both. Either maintain endurance with 1 'interval' workout per week. ANd focus on bringing up vertical. Or maintain vertical and focus on conditioning. 

The better my vert is, the worse my stamina. And the better my running is, the more my vert sucks. Sorry, that's life.

This is also why foot ball players, hands down, have way better verticals on average than NBA players. Foot ballers don't need any stamina. So they can get strong and powerful as fuck. NBA players have crazy cardio demands. So it limits their ability to build power 

Of course there are exceptions in the NBA.

But during the combine testing. NFL players wipe the floor of NBA players in the vert department. 

Thanks PB I had zero clue about that!

My endurance comes first of course, because i'm playing soccer and the stamina is important as hell. I simply wanted a better verticle for headers but its not a priority.

I'm being a bit overly dramatic. It depends where you're vertical is now. But I would recommend finding the minimal amount of conditioning you can do. 

Go with intervals. It's amazing how well a short 15-20 minute interval session will prepare you for 60-90 minute sport games. 

If you boost your strength in the low rep range (2-4 reps) you'll build some good power. I'd focus on weighted pistols and power cleans. THose two movements will translate the best to vertical jump. Get to the point where you can power clean well over your bodyweight and you'll have good hops. 

But I imagine your conditioning is already very good. You run a sub 6 minute mile? If so, that's not going to get any better while bringing strength and power up. Unless your strength and power sucks right now. 

I've never really been able to lift weights in season because I am playing so often. And yeah I can do 1.5 miles in around 8:50. I honestly feel like any strength training would make me slower, throughout highschool as I've gotten stronger and put on muscle i've became a worse runner. Freshman year I was 138lbs 5 6" now I am 158lbs 5 7"

I just don't get why my verticle sucks, maybe it is my technique of jumping? I am defintely an explosive/power player in all other aspects. I am only 5 7" but I've lost tons of headers to guys a few inches shorter.

I had the girl from last weekend over, and i'm stuck in the same situation where I can't get her panties off. I'm gonna stay the course and finish this though. A part of me wants to blame her but thats bullshit. My verbals need to be louder and I need to be more fun when escalating. My first mistake was letting her take her own pants off, if I just stepped in there I could have taken both layers off. I told her she needed to take the panties off because it "makes things sexier" but I didn't say it with enough conviction and sexiness. When that didn't work I kinda just stopped and told her that she would have A LOT more fun if her panties just came off. She still didn't change her mind, so she blew me, and I fingered her for a little bit.  I've never had a girl make me cum when she is blowing me so I told her she would be the best if she could get the job done, it took a while, but eventually I made a mess on her tits.

Does anyone else have a hard time reaching orgasm during a bj? I think it has a lot to do with a lack of relaxation and proper breathing. I've noticed that any sort of tensing up takes away from the pleasure.

Haven't posted lately. Good things are happening though, and I will discuss them soon.

you fingered her and still couldn't get her panties off? Dafuq? Fingering is usually a game over in my experience...she might display some token resistance but its usually easy to push through. 

Yeah so I started talking to my ex-girlfriend, the one I was an asshole to cuz I couldn't get it up. Picked her up and tried to bang in my car. Of course I was having the same lil situation. Improvements of course, but I just couldn't make it happen unfortunately. We kinda just laughed off the situation and I made it clear that its gonna take some time to straighten this problem out. She was cool with it and we agreed that we would overcome it.

Glad i'm facing this head on like a man.