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Validation seeking pattern/problem - any advice?

5 replies [Last post]
Joined: 01/12/2017

Hello all. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
I think I have a validation seeking problem and I want to know how to go about dealing with it.
It usually goes like this: If I'm interacting with a girl, and it's going well and she's responding or engaging with me, I feel awesome. However, if the interaction isn't going well, or if it's not as good as a previous interaction(she's not talking as much/smiling/complying etc) I tend to get into my head and think about why the interaction isn't going well, or if I already know the girl, why isn't she responding positively like she did before.
How do I get to a place where I feel awesome and strong without needing the validation of women?
I remember reading on RSD that the key is to have your shit together as a man and to get all the validation from that. I am working on my goals/life and this has definitely helped me in a big way towards feeling good and entitled. 
I've come a long way with this. But I haven't been able to really conquer it.
I'd appreciate your input. Especially input from guys who have experienced this and learned to deal with/overcome/conquer it.
Have a great weekend brothers! :)

Joined: 01/18/2012
I wrote up a decently long

I wrote up a decently long response to it and then it got wiped. Lol

Anyone else can share from their experience? 


I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

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TheKing's picture
Joined: 02/15/2012

Joined: 01/12/2017

Great post. Thanks.

Which of Tole's book would you recommend?

Meow's picture
Joined: 03/27/2013
When I feel needy I just

When I feel needy I just remember that I am here to please myself first. This applies from opener to sex. Like seriously dood at times you will be pretty much conversing with yourself until she bites. Focus on your enjoyment.

Joined: 04/02/2016
Adapting a screening

Adapting a screening mentality has helped me. Instead of going up to girls and trying to make them like you, you talk to girls for the fun of it, and you're looking for girls that you connect with. 

If you adapt that mentality you will probably find yourself prizing yourself more and qualifying girls instead of asking questions, for example. 

Making it a habit being awesome with everyone, not only hot girls has also helps with this. 

^Having your shit together is important of course, but these are some things you can try while infield.