Going From Unfocused Chode To Ruthless Player

@Katalyst:

Yoyo homie- finally got arond to rollin to one of your "high end" spots tonight... Well, more "high end" than my usual venues... went to gaslight... You would be proud of me man, I literally, single handidly, burned that mother fucker to the ground.

Anyway- your reports are fucking solid man. You do SO MUCH that I don't do lol... like your game is just flat out wayyy sicker than mine... Like I know you said on the phone that you think my game is better or wtvr... I really think YOURS is DOPE dude.

Like the amount of persistence you have... it was the same thing with Montaigne when I went out with him today... both you guys show CRAZY persistence and like this "quick verbal assault" WHILE in that "persistent" mode that's just something I have absolutely zero clue how to do...

Like your ability to just plow through street sets... idk... I have this thing where it's like... I notice myself not getting "blown" out... but just kinda letting shit die... like it dies VERY calmly... it's just me not having that PERSISTENCE that you and montaigne BOTH have... I'm stoked to hit it with you guys soon so I can learn from both of you... It's going to be sweet...

Or that shit you're talking about- like opening with no verbals... lmao, that's tough shit dude- especially at these higher end venues.

Dude. That was a baller ass field report. Im 100% satisfied with this.

And ya dude. So what you had was a girl who was determined to go home with her friend because she knew her friend would hook up with her and she was giving you the hint to see if you were the type of guy who could handle that. Btw check my facebook see what Im working on these days..

Dude. that's a very interesting way of describing it

@Katalyst:
So advanced concept dude but I think you'll get it. So you noticed that this girl responded well to the slight physical and verbal abuse/fighting you had with her earlier. What you do is apply this same concept to any resistance you face later. E.g. instead of making out with her (which was a decent tactic actually), you start a fight with her about her apartment and how smelly it is and it will probably cause you an allergic reaction, or you bet she doesn't have any good sandwich making skills and she probably keeps a dead cat somewhere lying around. So you're projecting past her resistance and placing yourself in her apartment (this creates a strong expectation), and, allows her to take the significance off the fact she's inviting a strange black man into her home.. in a way that she's familiar with and that excites/attracts her. Make sense?

@Katalyst:

yes yes yes...i could have been like "your apartment better not be smelly - smelly apartments give me allergies god damnit"..... but I'm guessing that's only to be done WHEN the girl gives you resistance - any other time play it cool. i do prefer to pull to my place. i think i couldn't pull to my place because lack of leading.


In my opinion, I didn't get the lay primarily because i was too durr (like half-zombieish, not fully present at all) as well as not being in high-alpha male thinking mode at the time. if i had made moves on her friend which i would have loved btw..... i would have gotten it...reference experiences reference experiences...

@Katalyst:
I actually do pre-empt that shit fo sho. I'm like.. what bitch does yer place smell? Are you a cat lady. Does your carpet have dandruff. What kind of fine china do you have. I only rob the good shit

@Katalyst:
I just thought of a good one. You're with a group of girls pulling them and one of them is being a pain in the ass. You're like.. "julia c'mere." She follows you and you walk into the street, you go "Ok just stand right here, don't move." Then you go back on the sidewalk with her friends and act like you're watching and waiting for her to get hit by a car. Not field-tested yet but I've done lots of similar shit.

@Manwhore:

that could work...and the younger they are i think that tactic would work better because it keeps you more in w/the friends....

which i should bring up to you - yea i need to have my vibe be more dynamic when i pull. I feel like I just sort of turn off the fun and go into raper mode...im exaggerating but when i look back over the past couple of months i'm usually just a lil too chill and too cool for school not trying to fuck anything up once i have them out the venue...now usually in the past when i pulled i knew the girl was all mine but now I'm running into this issue it's time to reinvent the wheel..

@Katalyst:

Been doing a shitload of subway approaches again. My new rule in LIFE is if i see a hot girl…i have to talk to her. so pretty much i'm hitting up stuff on the way to work on the subway, on the platform, in the street, if i leave my building for work at lunch, etc etc. This shit has been making me feel so fuckin good - because like todd says "i'm living life. not having little deaths". I want to work on my reaction time and just be an instant HITTER but we'll talk about that later.

Wed (07/18)

I head out to a concert right after work and meet up with AS89...get there I'm completely stifled to approach. AS89 and his crew are in the front actually enjoying the concert - I only came to the concert to approach. Takes me like 10 mins to even approach. I feel weird approaching at a concert when everyone is watching the show - but wtf that shit should not matter. I actually want to do more womanizing at concerts just to build my entitlement...My 1st approach the girl likes me and is happy I'm talking to her but I'm full newbie stifled and unable to even access the charismatic part of my brain. It was like I got a stroke in front of her. Like full thumb in my ass stifled. I walk around n feel weird BC it feels foreign and weird that I'm approaching while everyone is enjoying the show…I keep walking around... I approach this one fine ass Colombian chick..still stifled…She and her friend look at me funny like why is this guy so chode..She's fine so I fully plan on re-approaching. 2-3 approaches later I'm still sort of stifled when I re-approach. I decide to go to the bathroom area to piss off the chodiness. I approach two more girls - they're a no go then I approach another girl in line and just wait w/her in the long hipster bathroom line that I had previously cut. We vibe and talk and she goes into the bathroom and I #close her. After that I kinda forget her name and call her another girl's name..She does not seem too pleased and as a result does not return my texts after previously being SUPER into me...

I run around more and more w/ approaches that are short and not so sweet. It does not matter because at the end of the concert I am feeling pretty sharp and unstifled so I start turning the player wheels again. I run into some white girl from South Africa. I'm getting AS89 to wing me as one of her friends really likes him but he's acting like a fag. i literally push him into the set to occupy the other 2 friends as we're all walking away from the concert and i realize that having him around makes it less weird as they walk to wherever they were going. I just sort of follow her and her friends for a couple of blocks and just vibe out with her. i # close. but she ends up flaking. probably because i texted her a little too late (maybe 2 days after meeting her)

I have dinner w/AS89, his homie, and his big sis. It feels good to finally chill out w/people i actually know. I never really get to do this because my "lifestyle" does not call for me to just "chill" out and hang out w/friends. Too much to do to just chill out and enjoy the time. I did enjoy telling AS89's sister about paying for 2 RSD BCs, and weekly MW training. I just realized i've spent a shitload of $$$ on this shit. fuck. i could have just fucked a bunch of prostitutes. wonder if that would have made me happy. Definitely not. Better yet I could have bought some souped up car with rims and have all these bitches just hop on my dick cuz that's what happens when you have the car w/nice shiny rims. Or so the kid in the hood thinks lol….Montaigne (my awesome wing) joins us at dinner. We roll out downtown around 12:30. First we head out to some DJ's party and I just act like a fuckin idiot. It's awesome though - just forcing the fun. Flirt w/a bunch of sets and the place is small and packed and we decide to eventually head out to another part of downtown for more fruit..

We run into 2 girls on the street and bounce them to our next venue. Great flirty vibe, it's awesome. We get inside and montaigne is too aggressive w/one of them so they eventually run away or something like that…not a big deal. We ditch them - start talking to other girls. I run into 2 girls sitting down, start escalating on the taller blond one. I could see this girl being some rich chode's wife and him treating this girl like she's some prima donna, i could give a fuck about this plastic bitch yet i still feel weird around her because I'm not as accustomed to chilling out w/girls like this….. I vibe w/them for a bit and am playful and fun. They're only in town for a little bit so I suggest we go somewhere way better so i pull montaigne into the interaction and bounce them to another club. In retrospect, I should have run some ridiculously bold verbal game on her.

Wait for like 3-5 minutes and then get in. Crazy chaos of the environment is almost overwhelming - but that's high-end clubs for you… fuck. I push it hard, get blown out a lot, lose chemistry w/the girls we brought but when all is said is done internally i still feel really good. Montaigne and I leave around 3:45 and we're headed back home when we run into 2 girls. Open them and then switch directions hard. I chill back w/my girl because i only want to use her to get into the club, Montaigne is too aggressive and trying to have sex w/his girl on the street so we don't get into the club ;)

Like the sick fuck opportunists that we are we start hitting street sets well past 4. chill out for a little bit then head home.

I always seem to forget but when things are not going away, I should just fully focus on being congruent and saying what's on my mind "I want to fuck the shit out of you". It always seems to jolt me out of my chode-ness but that's just me.

Thursday (07/19)

Throughout my day I hit up every hot girl I see and want to bang. On the way home, I run into this girl at my job that I've been like under the radar flirty with. I was in the cafeteria at work and told her hot ass friend that I was really shy and had no friends. She joined us and while the girl I initially approached was hotter - i liked her more because she had a more silly, quirky kind of personality. We end up talking about how all day all we think about is sex etc etc. Just a ridiculously amusing convo to be having at work. So she's in her gym clothes and I sort of creep up on her and am super in her personal space without actually escalating on her. We walk into the subway station together and she's mentions that we should do something for my bday when she comes back from Dallas. Ok thank god she dropped that line because I probably wouldn't have #closed for fuck sake…

Keep walking, and on the train ride home I run into a really hot hipster chick on the subway w/shades on. Talk to her - great vibe. I ask her how her day went and she goes "Yo my day was so fuckin awesome. I just hung out w/Big Boi from Outkast". Ok at first i think this girl's qualifying and bragging. She says she won't give me her # as she's too busy and i go "look just give me your number. if it works out via text - fine. it not - fine. it doesn't really matter". she's like ok ok cool take my # down". I text her right before i take a "nap" an hour later and sort of forget about her until the weekend and google her band later. HOLY SHIT. this girl has her shit together. like hundreds of thousands of views of her band on YouTube and she was only in NYC for a day kind of shit after checking her twitter feed. Like i hate to say this - but a girl like this is currently "out of my league". Send her a bunch of texts. leave a voicemail. I tried. Made me think that girls like this should be the norm soon if i play my cards right and EXECUTE the program.

Take a nap, wake up like 2:30. FUCK. I was tired from minimal sleep the night before - not a big deal. Meet up w/montaigne around 3:30. Do a bunch of street sets, I get some weird looking hipster girls #. I start laughing to myself because there's no way in hell i'm gonna fuck this chick but i tell myself she'll be good text practice. I don't even text that bird. fuck. That's an issue of mine that needs to be fixed. having text anxiety and/or not texting every # i get because i'm "too busy". bullshit excuse - i just have been a poor executer in the past.

Montaigne and I take the subway at the end of the night and he opens this cute Czech girl in the subway. I end up talking to her and for some dumb reason don't even #close etc etc. Idk y i did this she was expecting the dong. I probably could have pulled.

I've started to realize that i'm not willing to sacrifice sleep for sex - when i should. I definitely should.

Friday (07/20)

I run errands ALL DAY …... It's pure madness. I head out w/Montaigne afterwards tired as shit.

I can barely remember what happened this night. I just remembering running into some girl from Argentina and just run around like a dumbass w/her and carry her around the venue. I meet some girl by the window and tie her hands around a pole like a fool.

I run into these 2 British girls. One's fit the other one's fat. At this point i'm expecting them to blow me out as I'm just having one of those kind of nights. Things is when I'm not in the mood, things are usually bad. I almost feel like a slave to my emotions. These girls can barely hear me as i sit next to them. We vibe and they start to take all types of erotic pictures on top of me. I get a boner - ok the night is now productive. I see them inside a little later. There is this needy German chode dude picking them up and manhandling both of them trying to make out with them. At first he's all over the fit one, and tries to throw the fat one on me. The fat one really wants to get laid as it's there last night before London. I really want to get laid too but I want the fuckin fit one. Eventually I steal the fit one off of him. I bring her over to the dance floor and she starts to taunt me "You've got to work harder than him to get me". I start to laugh and dismiss her bullshit. I start escalating on her and she's not having it so I start to play it cool. I just sort of chill out to the side as my fit girl returns to her fat friend. I chill out in the distance and play it cool. Eventually I see German dude leaving w/the two chicks. I start talking to the fit one - he gets in my face and starts shouting literally spitting in my face. I stay unreactive as everyone around us thinks we're going to fight. I just look him dead in the eye. Eventually the girls are like no that's my boyfriend. FUCK. I lose.

I'm pretty done at this point. I walk over to some married chick stifled. I didn't even know she was married. Talk to her for about 10 minutes and i do some silly physical shit w/her then I find out she's married. A pretty "horrific" night but it is what it is.

Saturday (07/21)

I have a karaoke get-together w/close friends and family (I'm now 25!!!). I was slightly pissed throughout my party because I got flaked on by a bunch of chicks. I was sitting there thinking "like damn - I can't even get girls to come out to see me on my bday." I was brutally honest w/myself and thought about how I didn't convey enough value for them. I was also pissed at myself because MW gave me a bunch of drills to do to help me my technical game out over the week and I just sort of decided to focus on the short-term (get laid during bday week) rather than focus on long-term stuff…

I looked around and secretly told myself that the next year I'm going to do everything I can in my possible right to claw my way out of scarcity with women.. I did enjoy the party though - like it was my first bday party in America ever. Looking back I can't believe I got a bunch of girls to get under my skin - it was actually a pretty memorable night and I should be damn glad that I have a cool ass family and a GREAT group of close friends given that I barely really call anyone or make efforts to chill w/them on the regular like that.

So I meet up w/Montaigne, AS89, and bring my cousin and lil sis out w/me. It's awesome - i have a social circle in the venue, that's an awesome feeling i'm not used to. Like i'm out w/friends. Different kind of vibe - feels like an extension of a party. I am full motivated to get laid tonight. I hit up some girl and suck her into my reality HARD. I isolate her from her friends and start making out w/her. Then afterwards for some reason I start running "game" on her doing one of Manwhore's drills on her. That was pretty uncalibrated for me to do. Run around do some more approaches get blown out more. I roll up to 3 girls on the dance floor and I get up in some girls face but i see her subtly look at some other dudes so i start dancing on her friend instead not to blow myself out. Her friend's this cute black girl. Start flirting and vibing w/her. I isolate her to another part of the bar and we start making out. She tells me how she just broke up w/her BF like 3-4 weeks ago. Ding ding. A couple of minutes later she goes I'm too drunk - i'm too drunk and goes to hurriedly find her friends. wtf.

I stay in her vicinity and i try to get her slightly jealous as I start talking to other girls in front of her but it's half-ass because although I have other girls all over me I just kind of ditch them to get her as she seems like the girl most likely to FUCK.

I bounce around a little more and make out with a couple more girls - I got to credit watching montaigne - now my interactions are a lot more sexual from watching him run some subtle beast mode game on girls always.... At the end of the day a make-out is just a make out but it's a lot better than playing it too cool for school and not taking what you want because you want to look good.

The cute black girl is into me but her friends are playing the "no she's not going to be anywhere with you" card. No more sets to re-approach really. it's 4am my lil sis is paired off w/some dude and my cousin finds some girl who's all over him. I'm just chilling by myself on my bday night with my ego absolutely dying. I'm like damn! I pulled the last two Saturday nights - what happened to this Saturday night - it's my fuckin bday. I should NOT be alone on. My ego was really trying to uphold this grand Katalyst vision and was absolutely dying.


For a good part of Sunday I was still sort of pissed. I for some fucked up reason kind of enjoy soaking in the negative emotions and remaining butthurt for a bit because it sort of centers me and allows me to shine a spotlight on my blind spots as I'm usually just some delusional happy fucktard if i don't. which isn't exactly a bad thing but i'm a lot more hard working when I'm going through a "struggle".

I'm raising my standards and now really going to be holding myself to be doing a lot more.

@Katalyst:


Wednesday (07/25)

This was one of my more epic nights and come think of it one of the best nights I've had in a LONG time. I was a bit nervous because I recently have decided to stop going out 7 nights a week and tone it down to 4-5 nights at week at most. Now when I go out 4 nights a week I force myself to stay out until 4am and PLAY TO WIN something I didn't' really do when I was going out all the time because it literally isn't possible for me to do such a thing given that i have a slightly demanding ay job.

I've been stepping up hard during the day time - hitting up like 85 -90% of cute girls I see on my to and from work. It's exhilarating shit. I feel good even when I get one of those fucked up blowouts or I'm super stifled because I'm TAKING THE RIGHT ACTION.

I'm dead tired as I'm going out - I tell myself that I'm going to just focus on having fun tonight - that's the only criteria for success. I should always make that my goal.

I roll into the venue and as I walk in I extend my hands out and some girl comes up and hugs me. Embrace her for a minute and then start to make out with her. I roll around and finally find Montaigne talking to 2 girls. I roll up and wing him and I'm chatty, narcisstic as fuck and probably just straight up weird. I didn't care. Next group of girls, we roll up to some black girls and I just start talking a load of shit. I'm really witty and the girl is giving me shit for demanding her number, but I circumvent her bs and just plow and mimic chodes and kind of ridicule her. I can't be stopped tonight. I go on the dance floor and i meet some beautiful stunning Spanish girl. I pump her emotions and just start doing extra cheesy shit. She runs over and introduces her friends to me and I'm the total prize. She says she's leaving America soon but wants to see me again. She doesn't know her # so she goes over to her friend's phone to figure it out.

I join Montaigne and he's talking to these 2 french girls. His girl is cool, the other girl is DEATH. she is cute but she's just an absolute emotional void. Looking back, I wish I could have gone "damn bitch - can't you smile god dammit. You'd probably actually look cute if you did'. i run into her again and I'm sort of stilted because she's emitting negative emotions but I'm just being extra positive and loud and mumbling absolute gibberish. It was like i was playing that game "five" with her - what i was saying made absolutely no fuckin sense but "i changed her mood, not her mind". I was stifled but i was fronting hard as fuck cuz she was so standoffish.

I stay on the dance floor and I proceed to act like an absolute idiot for like 20 minutes - just jumping up and down rapping loud as fuck to Lil Jon and Chief Keef and pretty much being the coolest and most fun guy in the venue. I stop when I realize that i'm soaked in sweat in my tight ass jeans and my white tee.

Cool myself down and join Montaigne and he's talking to these 2 girls upstairs. I roll over and wing him. My one is a lovely brunette w/piercing and her hair dyed red. It feels uncomfortable where we're sitting so we bounce them to another couch. Idk what Montaigne is talking about but me and my girl are having a super intelligent conversation - we're talking about shit like sustainable development in third world countries. God i love intelligent birds. Absolutely love them. I start whipping out pictures on my FB of when i stayed in a random ass hut in the middle of nowhere in ghana, west africa to be the black bear grylls and only brought the power of now and my iPod w/me as a source of "entertainment" (Iooking back i wish I could it again - i didn't' understand what was going on but it would take on such a DEEPER DEEPER meaning). So we're talking about all this stuff and I'm being highly narcisstic and talking about all the shit i've done in my life. From now I'm just going to talk about myself and tell stories. Like that's going to be my strategy. Just full narcissist. 90% of girls are boring as fuck - kinda like those girls in that show GIRLS. and even when they like you they're nervous so as guys we have to just bring them into our reality.

So we're talking and 30 minutes into the interaction I'm sitting there and realizing that this highly intelligent boner-inducing convo doesn't mean anything. So I step up and mouth-rape her out of the blue. Eventually i sit her on my lap and we talk for about 10 more minutes and she's smiling ear to ear like a naughty little school girl. She and Montaigne's girl go to the bathroom. We walk out the venue w/them. I wall slam her into a little nook n cranny thing and start making out w/her more. She keeps saying "god i want to but i can't…" We sort of limply say good-bye to our girls. Looking back I should have taken full responsibility and been more fuckin decisive and gone "LOOK i'm taking my girl here see you guys in a bit". ESPECIALLY SINCE it was her last night in America. O well.

New sticking point : being way more assertive once i leave the venue w/a girl. I've been burned on it at least 4 times in the last month and need to sharpen this area of my interactions!

There's a lovely blond swedish girl that I actually really like based on the limited time (like 5 minutes) we've spent together. I met her a couple of weeks ago and we had awesome chemistry as she was sort of silly and playful but I pulled another girl that night and i didn't # close as logistics weren't going to work out.. I approached her and she was like "i've met you before - i was like hurr durr really?" and then i recognized her. I get back in and have a mini-debrief w/Montaigne about the last set. She's in a mixed set and I just pick her up from her friends and carry her around the corner, slam her against the wall and start making out w/her. She goes WHOA YOUR A BAD BAD MAN. come think of it i actually did this to earlier in the night but I didn't make out w/her as she was right next to her friends, I just sort of looked her in her eye and grinned. I drag her back to her friends and # close. I had to be really sly and intelligent about this bc i think she's on a date or there w/her bf or something so i introduce myself to him and tell him i'm a promoter and they're coming to my party and # close :)

We start hitting up street sets. I'm always trying to figure out where my approach boundaries are so I want to see if i'm scared to do intimidating sets w/hood dudes and hood rats. I'm being stupid as fuck opening. montaigne starts recording me but his camera light is one and all these mean looking niggas start coming up to him thinking he's like the hip hop police. this kinda fucks up my presence while i'm flirting with this girl so i tell them that he's my friend. ok fuck the hood rats now.

We run into these group of 3 girls from Spain. Montaigne is paired off in loveland w/his girl - it's 3:50 at the point so I'm with her 2 fine ass friends. My thinking at the moment is just to occupy because dammit i have a busy day at work tomorrow so that's the predominant thought in the back of my head. I'm just hanging out/them and 10 minutes later some weird guy (i just assume he's some RSD guy) keeps trying to join our party. I'm like fuck off you're creepy and keep physically moving both girls around while having fun. They really like me and are totally gaming me at the moment and INVESTED. They ask me for my # - ask to take pics w/me. Yes I am the prize tonight. Why can't every night be like this! We bounce them a couple of blocks for food. I have to leave because it's like 4:20. Come to realize one of the girls REALLY REALLY liked me. I sort of knew this but at the moment all i could think of was the next day at work and how much shit i had to do. As i tell them i'm leaving the girl the really likes me is literally looking away in disappointment. I want to go back but i think to myself - i probably have to go back home and change if i pull and there's now way i can function on 3 hours of sleep if i do pull.

Next time - FUCK MY JOB , PUSH SHIT TO THE BITTER END.

One of those night. two golden opportunities to pull. but this was a really really good night.

Btw i really hate montaigne - he ended up fuckin his chick.

Thursday (07/26)

Wake up 3 hours of later, and my decision to not pull ends up being good. I came to realize i have to create a presentation for a bunch of execs at my job within an hour in the morning after a wild night of partying. I just think it's fuckin funny that this is the case. Like i'm presenting in this room and laughing that these 40 year old chodes who live their job and work around the clock are listening to some fool whose been out all night. Things will get better. I will be cooler, within the next 2 years make my OWN MONEY, fuck hotter bitches, do all those things that your ego loves. Usually on days where I'm sleep deprived I'm not in the mood to approach but i was so buzzed of the awesomeness of last night and being able to pile through a hectic work day coupled with the fact that i finally was getting a couch on Friday!

I get home and am not able to sleep until like 10. I wake up at 2:45 and pissed that I couldn't just run out on maybe a 2 hour nap since I didn't have work tomorrow wtf.

I get out downtown at like 3:30. I run into some girls from Argentina, they have bfs, and i start to get warmed up. I start doing some more ballsy approaches. Walk down the street and run into some girl from Ecuador. We're pretty mean to each other under a loving pretense. Playing with that ball of negative emotional energy.I roll up on some 2 girls and a dude and just start talking to them while they're getting shish kebab. I follow them for a couple of blocks just talking to my girl and the girl i'm asking is like "why are you following me". I sort of freak out and just # close. God dammit. I should have been honest here - "because you're lovely as fuck" or something along that nature and BANG i would have pulled. I'm in the middle of nowhere but I keep approaching. Talk to just a fine ass women - she's mans the door at this exclusive ass venue. I'm convinced she's a 10 - I give her a 9.5…She's probably from Guyana - like exotic firecracker. SHEESH. she is fineeeee.I'll marry her and eat her coochie every day for lunch until she pisses me off fine. God she's fine. I never really see girls like this. I'm chatting her up but i'm lacking the entitlement because i've psyched myself out so i don't even try to # close.

I finally run into montaigne at like 4:15. There's a 3 set getting food on the street. I make out w/my girl within a minute. We walk back w/them a couple of blocks after vibing and i # close my girl.

It ain't over until it's over :)

@Katalyst:

Dope ass FR bro

@Katalyst:

Friday (06/27)

On the way downtown, I get into a heated argument with a cop who is blocking a side street and letting a bunch of cabs and random cars (that aren't cabs) go through a side street. I try to go through the side street and he tells me to turn around. After waiting 5 minutes in traffic (there was a checkpoint) i try again. he motions for me to pull over and i start arguing with him about why i can't go. he then asks me for my license and because i've already gotten like 4-5 tickets while driving in the past 12 months - i just say "fuck it - i'll wait in line".

I'm pissed about the side street cop incident as I meet up with Montaigne. We do a bunch of street sets and he runs into some girl he met previously while I'm talking to some other girls. She has an awesome awesome personality so I tell him that I'll split as I don't expect to see him later. I keep flirting w/girls on the street and I meet these 3 girls on the corner on my way to the next venue.

Buddahgames walks by w/homie so i pull him in to wing the 3 girls we vibe w/the girls so we eventually bounce them to the next venue. I was running lots of push/pull on my girl and it was easy for me to do so because i was so ridiculously out of it and was mad at it because the world because i felt like the cop fucked me over - so i was just saying all this fucked up shit to her - and she was ATTRACTED very very hard. Eventually we bounce them over to the club. Doorman asks me what's up w/my guests and i motion 6 to them. he looks at me and buddah and then he looks at the girls and goes the girls look annoying to me. I actually couldn't agree more because they were all stressed out about cutting the huge line and not being able to get into a club. They were annoying. We were going to bounce them somewhere else but they were all on some insecure bs and i honestly think i ran so much push on my girl that she didn't think she had a chance.

We bounce them, and me and buddahgames approach a shit ton of girls on the street. I ran into this cute girl from sweden who's from bosnia. i take that back she wasn't cute she was hot. i'm looking at her fb pics - she's a fine little bird (http://manwhore.org/forum/content/swedish-girl-originally-bosnia-faceboo...). Buddah wings me. We're probably vibed with them for like an hour talking and doing silly stuff. It was "therapeutic" because i was just able to calm down and relax. We try to bounce them to some other club but they're like we have to head back to Astoria - we have work in the morning so I FB close. (my girl didn't have a phone).

We just keep hitting shit up. We're both still kind of out of it and we call it a night around 4. I like buddahgames - awesome guy to wing w/ for sure and i'm looking forward to us linking up along with montaigne in the future. We're the most determined dudes as far as i know in nyc and i've been looking for guys like this to wing w/for a LONG time - guys who approach approach approach, and are honest w/themselves without this diva vibe or crazy dickhead EGO.


Saturday (06/28)

meet up with buddahgames and montaigne at a block party in my hood. hipster central indeed. I kinda chuckled to myself on my way there because I overheard some girl asking her friend why she was making out with some random guy. At first i thought it was some hipster scumbag, but then i was like "o wait, it's probably buddahgames or montaigne - they're here too" - funny enough it was buddahgames lol.

I probably approached like well over 30-40 girls at the festival.. A lot of interactions were sort of good and flirty, but when I would go for the # close 10 mins into the interaction - girls were like 'thanks, but no thanks". I mean i think i probably got about 5 or so numbers and as I write this a week later all have flaked. Maybe i was too gamey or something, although i'd like to think that there wasn't enough PUSH to solidify my value. It's funny I was writing about this about 3-4 months ago and now i've started to see it really surface again. There just wasn't enough PUSH to make the girl go "yeahhh this guy knows what he is doing. he's an asshole that will challenge me". Like Julien said in Hotseat the PUSH creates the attraction. I've been working on some escalation kind of stuff with MW in my lesson but I still need some PUSH. Like if i got a rejection from a # close - i could have just been like "yea just head back to your boring life, watch your boring tv shows, sitting on your stoop and keep missing out on great opportunities in life" and then keep talking projecting positive emotions" Sort of reactive but i need to convey some kind of negative emotions and need that killer closer "i will push it to the bitter end kind of instinct.

I'll talk about this in my journal a little later but i'm realizing this is the reason why i'm getting flaked all of the time etc and it's weird because i'm running into girls I've met out before and they're coming up to me and going "hey how have you been etc etc…you probably don't even remember me" after me not even remembering who they are initially…i usually remember most girls i # close…my memory isn't that fucked up..But yes it's frustrating because as soon as they're not in my presence, i'm just like some foreign emotion they can't feel anymore if that makes any sense.

Back to the festival…so yea Montaigne was doing his usual persistent thing, Buddahgames was killing it which was awesome since he looked sort of out of place which in my opinion fucking added to his charm to all these hipster girls. Also like damn that motherfucker is LOUD. holy shit. me and montaigne need some of that….After the festival is dying down, we roll back to my apartment, chill back a bit and then head out downtown around 12:30 -1.

I'm fuckin tired when i get downtown and I'm just straight up OFF. all good. just one of them nights - where you're uninspired. I really do wish though that when i'm not feeling all awesome that i could still salvage some kind of result - it's like almost like i'm a slave to my emotions or something….Not bad though - i think we gamed for like 9 hours.

@Katalyst:

Wednesday (08/01)

Wednesdays have become interesting because that Sunday, Monday, Tuesday lag that i now have (although i'm pretty much approaching everyday as i go about my day) - makes me really realize that I'm actually enjoying the game. I love the fun, the absurdity and all that other shit. I'm not enjoying the slump but that's just logic and ego talking to me. - emotionally i usually feel really good

I'm determined to have a good August after an aggravating July.

I had a long day and literally was running around from 9am till 11:30 pm (when i finally got home from my soccer game). But what do champions do - they at least show up….Like fuck,. I was dead tired and absolutely not in the mood as i left my place around 1 or something.... I see some stunning Australian girl on the way to the club. She's surrounded by like 3 chodes and her friend. I split the chodes apart in a sort of dramatic (parting the seas I like to call it) and rip her out and immediately isolate her. She's wearing this zipper dress and all i can think of is zipping that shit the fuck down and banging her fuckin brains out. o god. she was fine. I talk to her for a bit and i'm escalating and trying to get her into a dark corner outside the club so i can start making out with her. she wasn't having it. I was so convinced that i would have fucked her that as she and her friend go into the club that's she in - i decide to go in even though I never fuckin go there…... I get let in past the velvet rope, but i bounce when i realize there's a $20 cover. Nah i'm good - i don't pay to talk to girls. I do envision myself down the line (like 3 years from now on) not having to sweat such a thing - where $20 is nothing because it's really nothing i have a shit load of cash..

I decide to meet up with montaigne and i'm just up in the venue forcing the fun. Talking to girls flirting. I wing montaigne w/these 2 girls from somewhere in Europe. We bounce them over to another part of venue. i just talk about stupid shit to my girl. it eventually doesn't go down because montaigne is being too frisky ala rubbing that boner on dat ass and it doesn't matter because my girl has a bf. Whatever they leave and I keep rolling around being silly. It was sort of sparse - it was Wednesday so not much to work with.

I run into this British girl and tell her that I'm going to give her dancing lessons on how to be black and by the time she's done she's going to be blacker than me. Just stupid self-amusing shit. 5 mins into the set, i realize i have to get serious so i start asking her who she's with, when she's leaving etc etc. She just says friends and something about this girl just is like "TAKE ME". I see some chode leering off into the distance at me. he's kinda hesitant to come in and she introduces me to her friend at the bar.... Her friend is super horny and likes some dark-skinned black dude. the light-skinned black dude (who was leering before at me) is now all over my chick. i will call him lighty. Lighty and darky are each other's wingmen. I play it cool for a bit and chill out w/ Montaigne in the distance.

A light bulb clicks and i ask montaigne whether I should play it coy or go for it for the eventual showdown w/the british girl.... I take a minute and realize - no this girl is going to get fucked by lighty if i don't do something. I go back in and pick her up and drag her to another part of the venue. It's dark in here and i start eventually making out w/her and doing some physical shit manwhore taught me over our weekly call. she's sort of baked at this point and after resisting my advances is still keen to make out with me. She won't let me finger bang though. I realize that there's no chance of me fuckin unless i do it in the club because she is young and co-dependent and her friend is going to cock-block the shit out of me.

I bounce her to another part of the venue and then try to whisk her into the bathroom. she's like noooo and hardcore resisting in front of the security guard. i'm like fuck - there's no way i can do this right hurr. I continue to make out with her in the dark area of the club and she's turned on but after trying to drag her towards the bathroom she's like nope again. it feels like token resistance to me…. She eventually gets back to her friend. lighty and darky are there. my girl's friend tells me to fuck off as she says lighty is my girl's boyfriend. absolute bullshit. I know deep down that i'm kind of fucked because well my girl's friend is the dominant one of the two.

I attempt to make her jealous and just drag girls from other parts of the club where she can see me mack it up.... it's sort of working but it didn't really go down. I don't know how to properly run a jealousy plotline anyway.

Eventually me and montaigne hit the streets after i see lighty (who is a total fuckin chode jeez) and my girl make out. Side note: I went in several times to the point where lighty is like "yo homie, respect respect respect" but i didn't give a fuck - fuck you, i don't know you chode. He wanted to pretty much fight me but I didn't care.

We're on the streets and i run into Australian girl. looks like some other dude pulled her. Derp. she just totally ignores me. We keep hitting shit up and i decide to walk by our place and as we're walking there i tell montaigne that i want to see her get pulled because I just need that mental image to motivate me. Motivate me when i'm tired from a day of work and instead of reading a text game thread i'm reading Yahoo sports about the olympics. motivate me to think of something witty to text the girl about our interaction rather than use one of my canned cocky funny texts. motivate me to just OWN……

So I see the girl from the SHOWDOWN and i see her and her friend getting pulled by lighty and darky. I won't lie i was kinda heartbroken not crestfallen for about 15 seconds before i kept approaching. watching them get in the cab was like watching the other team that you know you're better than come back from behind to beat you. O fuck. It was pure unluckiness so there's no way i can literally get mad at myself. eventually my luck will turn around…damn just writing about it still sucks but i have a smile on my face - life goes on.

Undeterred i hit up a bunch of other sets outside the club. busta rhymes happens to be parked nearby and there's ton of groupies around as they're trying to get his attention but he's not interested. I'll take your seconds sir and i keep hitting hitting hitting. My last set of the night involved me walking to a car full of black girls and me re-approaching the girl in the passenger seat. i had to just deal with shit test after shit test from all her friends. Like 10 mins of straight up plowing but i just have wittier responses. I go for the mouth-rape on my girl but she's not too interested.

It was a valiant valiant effort and i'm proud of all the action i did. i pushed it to the bitter end. I tell myself if i act like this every night i will eventually claw myself out of my current slump. Maybe a little bit more relaxation would have helped in my SHOWDOWN set but fuck my girl was keen.

Just realized I didn't even # close anyone tonight. wtf.

Friday (08/03)

Go to some day party that Distant Light is hosting. It's decent - hit up a few girls. #close some awesome hipster chick. Head back home do some MW drills - head back out again.

- Meeting up w/ montaigne and he's got 3 chicks waiting for us to get into the club w/us like a BOSS. nice…Doorman tells us to walk to front of the line and one of them is annoying and not wanting to get in line and i'm tempted to yell "stop being a faggot and get w/the program". We ditch them as soon as we get in cuz they're annoying young girls. I run into a girl i used to text but she flaked on me (http://manwhore.org/forum/node/99). I see her several times in the night but i don't vibe w/ her as i'm usually in set when she passes by as i see her out the corner of my eye with that puppy dog look. she's like a 6.5/7 so i'm not gonna sweat that..

I start the night off EXTRA crisp. Run into an australian girl who is begging to buy me a drink. she has a bf so whatever - just get me a water dammit. Me and montaigne open up a 5 seated set. I pull the short little cutie out of the set and bounce her around the club and go on adventures. i laugh because as soon as i dragged her out, i pushed her away playfully and she fell on her ass in front of her friends. yo that shit was bad mann. i don't know how i didn't die of laughter in front of her. didn't matter she loved me and we bounce around the club and go on random adventures. she's sort of annoying and ultra conservative and kind of unsure of her self. all this i'm from mexico blah blah bs.

I run into a 3 set. I first talk to the friend and then switch gears and talk to her fine ass Indian friend. Like montaigne came and joined me and took a pic of them and while he was i was just like yo i want to fuck this indian girl sooo bad. They invite me to go to a better club with them and like a fag. LIKE A FAG. I DO NOT GO. even montaigne was mad at me. I have to admit my state dropped ASAP because i didn't take the right course of action. I should have done so.

I run into these 2 girls originally from Chile. They're fine and we chill out but they have to go find their friend Carlos or some bs.

Roll around, hit up a bunch of girls and one of the Mexican girl's friend kinda goes "yea your baby is over there". Ok when you have the friends vouching for you and your girl is tipsy you just have to go for it. So i run into the girl and bounce her to another part of the club AWAY from her friends. I sit her down and she starts asking me for some reason to tell her stories. Idk y but i was glad that i've been working on all the MW story telling drills so i start telling her all types of stupid stories. she's really fuckin intrigued. lmao. it's annoying how insecure she is. I come to realize 30 mins later that yo i've got to be more machevillan w/these hoes and ditch them for more fruitful pastures.

I run into the 2 girls from Chile at the end of the night. I try to #close my girl. No go. WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE - was just follow them and keep vibing w/them because they were cool and fun. I could have probably even pulled. fuck where's that entitlement and winning mentality Katalyst?

I take the subway back w/Montaigne. He meets this Irish girl. I'm tired as fuck - but he pushes me to approach some girl on the other end of the subway car. I meet her and eventually drag her back to where i was sitting and we have a little party going on. my girl has a bf but it was cool to do.

Unlucky.

I go home and watch and read vids/articles from Manwhore/Julien on pulling logistics because Mother Logistics has not been good to me as I have not been good to her either. Picking girls where the odds are slim etc etc.

Pulling first, #s second mann.

Frustrating as I continue to CLAW myself out of scarcity. It sucks right now. This is the worse. 6 weeks no date, no lay. I will continue to take action and not focus on that. At the end of the day, it's my RESPONSIBILITY, MY FAULT, ETC ETC. if it is to be, it is up to me.

@Katalyst:

Saturday (08/04)

- Me and Montaigne meet up in Whole Foods and just chill out for a bit. it's remarkable how early i'm out - 10 PM. Start out the night kind of rusty, take a dump to de-chode myself. We run into this 2 girls from Kansas who are in town until Wednesday.... We approach them at first. Montaigne is a little frisky w/his girl - but she turns out to be a loser bitch so it don't matter as i find out..... Then we re-approach and they walk away again. Something tells me that they're down for shit so when they cross the street and we have them hooked. Persistence for the win. We bounce them to a club and chill w/them for a bit. We then walk them like 8-9 blocks to another club like 30 minutes ago. Montaigne hates his girl, i don't mind switching so we did. In retrospect, i actually should have stayed w/my girl because she was into w/me but was kinda down w/Montaigne as well when we switched. We don't get in w/them so they say they're going somewhere else and i'm like fuck it.

On the way back to our old spot, Montaigne kinda says something to this cute girl. she says something to him but walks away. my sixth sense told me this girl wanted dick so i re-approach. my sixth sense just realized she was drunk. I talk to her and we figure out that she's from my hometown so we vibe off that. I figure out that she's by herself as her friends left her to go home. she's finding a cab home but i just convince her to talk w/me for a bit. She goes 'you're cute' blah blah have a cigarette w/me but don't try anything funny because i have a bf. 5 minutes later i start making out w/her. 5 minutes later after running a lot of push on her "yo you can walk away anytime you want" and similar kind of comments i start to make out w/her. She can't seem to find a cab that's willing to take her to brooklyn. every block we walk is some sort of massive struggle as she's struggling w/her logic and emotions. i get her like 4 blocks away from where i originally met her and 2 blocks away from my hoopty and she eventually finds a cab. A part of me is like it would have been borderline rape but this girl would have done something w/me if i just pushed it just a little bit harder but a part of me "felt bad as she was giving me so much resistance". Groan.

So i have a state crash when i first get back to the spot. it takes me awhile to regain composure but i start acting stupid and forcing the fun to counter the bad emotions. I run into this short Irish girl, bounce her from the dance floor to another part of the bar - have her do all types of silly british accents, start making out w/her - she's like WHOA i have to find my friend so i'm like fuck it - go off then.

Roll around run into this other chick. dance w/her - do some escalation shit Manwhore taught me on her and as soon as i do this on her she asks me where i'm staying. I tell her Brooklyn and i see her slightly lose interest a bit... This makes me think - should i lie about logistics from now on? Just tell her - yo i live in Tribeca or something so she's like "ok i'm gonna go home w/him"….Long story short - her roomie is w/her - some miserable miserable chick who eventually is like fuck this guy we're leaving.

Some girl that I was hanging w/on my bday notices me and asks me "if i remember her" while i'm flirting w/some other girls. I actually did remember her. And mann - she was a LOT finer than i remember. holy shit. o god. Something tells me to hedge my bets so i decide to go for the Irish girl but looking back wtf was i thinking - if i had paid my dues and spent like 20 minutes w/this chick i probably would have fucked her.

*shakes head*

At the end of the night, the bitter end like at 4:15 Montaigne run into to these two girls. At first they blow him off, but when we re-approach they buckle down and we bounce them over to a deli a couple of blocks away. We hang w/them for like 15 more mins and they're headed back to the girl's parents house. I think one thing that me and montainge do poorly when we wing each other is not taking responsibility off chicks and being DECISIVE AND DEMANDING.. Literally dictating their reality. Anyways it was cool.

We still keep going. I approach these 2 girls and it's a waste of time. From now on, if i think they're lame just walk away.

Sunday (08/05)

Me and Montaigne meet up at this festival thing out in Brooklyn. Ok it looks good and has potential to be awesome but it's way too fuckin hot. We bounce and decide to head back. I run into this cutie w/frizzy hair. Talk for 10-15 mins - grab her #. Go home, chill out for a bit - bang out some MW drills and I eventually head back to the festival. it starts pouring so i duck in some store to grab some green juice as my head hurts (probably from the demands of the previous week). I vibe w/this girl for like 20 minutes and we make "solid plans" to meet up.

@Katalyst:

Clawing my way out of scarcity/expanding my comfort zone

I'm only giving myself 7 minutes to write this because it took wayy too fuckin long to write up all those FRs.

Ok so at the moment. I'm making some awesome strides in my game and my technical ability but I'm still not getting the lay and I'm not getting dates...I haven't pulled in about 3 or so weeks, haven't gotten a day 2 or a lay in 6 weeks.... It's frustrating because a lot of these girls seem really invested but there's something that is missing. ...It's absolutely frustrating. But who am i to bitch? I'm not in the worse place ever but I'm confident that this plateau will soon be eclipsed and i'll reach a new level of consistency that I've NEVER seen before. i'm close.

I think at the end of the day it's because I'm lacking a lot of PUSH in my sets. LIke it's such a mind-fuck - girls that are flaking or it didn't go down for me to get the pull weeks ago are coming up to me and going "yo do you remember me? blah blah." So they see me having some sort of value. I'm not going to dwell on it too long because i've just been slightly unfortunate. As a result of the slump, my shit is starting to get a little tighter and i'm noticing things i never noticed before - like "how quiet i am" and how shit "my escalation previously was". I really believe one day it will click and i'll go wtf that was easy.

Expanding my comfort zone/things that i need to do.

1. ACTIVELY PUSHING GIRLS AWAY IN AN "AUTHENTIC MANNER" in every set that i do. communicating that i'm the prize.

2. Talking to multiple girls in the same subway car. I just want to be stone cold mr. i don't give a fuck.

3. BEING LOUD AS FUCK ON A SUBWAY CAR. even when i try to talk loud when i'm unstifled - chicks have trouble hearing me. but even when i'm stifled i should not be afraid to be LOUD and tell the girl what i'm feeling. it's bad like chicks have trouble hearing me. I went to dinner w/ friends and they said they couldn't hear me etc etc.. i might go see a vocal coach for real.

4. moving sets in the daytime. I usually don't do these. Actually i lie - i probably do but just not enough... i'm behind on RSD videos at the moment but i hear that the Todd one on moving sets is really good.

5. O the big one. TEXTING. I force myself to send texts every day to multiple chicks and it takes me awhile even to craft something witty. I'm meeting a lot of girls. Easily 50 to 100 in a week. Definitely about 7 to 10 that guys would call solid interactions. Yet i can't seem to convert my #s into flakes. It's MY FAULT at the end of the day but yup something has to happen. Fuckin aggravating.

I'm starting night and weekend classes for the next couple of months in 4 weeks so i'm going to be in web developer mode as i look to change careers. I'll still be going out 4 times a week but i'll be more focused on getting Day 2s come mid-September/October so i have to get my text game act together!

@Katalyst:

I never write FRs on my days that I don't go out. But i thought it'd be cool to kind of document how i would say an above-average not going out day looks like.....


Monday Morning FR

Wake up at 7 for some reason after being up till 2 (I usually wake up at like 8:30) Lie in bed for 30 mins - realize i can't fall asleep again - my sleep cycle is fucked - after 5 to 6 hours of sleep i just wake up. My room is dark as fuck too.. Meditate, read some text game threads, think about life and goals, get to my subway stop around 9.

See some cutie on the subway platform - tell her she's cute. she starts blushing and shit. talk to her for a bit and she's just ridiculously nervous. kinda almost puts me into my head. i # close and she goes "i have to read my book". She'll probably flake and it's my fault because these girls are expecting you to go hard the WHOLLEE way. You have to be LOUD, BOLD, UNAPOLOGETIC. THE REAL DEAL. Not some pretender.

Ok get on the train. 2 stops in some girl i approached a longgg time ago gets on. I remember her actually very cleary because she was the only girl to give me a shit test on the subway and i passed it for her. After that she was really confused because i didn't ask for her number and that's because I was going thru a 30 day challenge where i would have no attachment to outcome and ask for no #s. (http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200089?page=10#comment-861346).

So the subway goes on and i know she notices me and she sort of has her back turned. The train goes 2 more stops and i have that anxiety - that kind of anxiety you only get when you do a re-approach because you're putting yourself out there even more than before. What's a rejection off the first approach? Nothing. It's the 2nd and 3rd rejection where you're more prone to go - yo this girl is rejecting ME. she's never rejecting you - she's just rejecting your game.

I realize it's not intelligent to go direct because then you just seem like a dick and it would just be miscalibrated especially if you've met the girl before - i do a "hey how are you". We do the whole reintroduction thing. I jokingly tell her "that i've been thinking about her since i met her every single night and haven't been able to sleep" just silly shit. i chat w/her - and the usual happens - chodes stop reading their kindles, earphones come out even though i'm quiet and heads slightly turn. I really shouldn't be noticing this but i reckon i've become pretty perceptive from all these continous months of approaching. What if buddahgames talked to this chick? lmao. So i keep vibing and she's very intrigued as i tell her my life story, how i grew up and talk about myself. Train gets to Union Square and i ask for her #. She has a bf. lol wtf - what a mindfuck. It was so ON between us. I'm a bit pissed because this girl actually tickled my fancy :( but i'm happy because i took the right action.

Hop on the next train. I see some cutie in glasses and i'm hesistant to do it then i say the magic word: YOLO and go "It would be a sin of epic proportions if i did not tell you how cute you are". I take a seat next to her and chat for a bit. she's taken aback - and i grab her #.

I feel good - and not even from the # but just at the fact that i'm clawing myself out of scarcity. Side note: Both of these chicks flaked but my text message didn't have enough gravity to pull them in. I wrote a non-commital "This morning I grew wings and landed on mars". Man that text message kind of sucks - like my text game. that shit fuckin sucks DICK. but it will get better. i'm tinkering with it and trying to understand the stuff behind it. Really i was expecting a whose this but i did not pique their curiosity.

Laugh, feeling good, maybe it's because i drank Kombucha in the am, maybe because i'm laughing at my "sociopathic" behavior, or it's got to be the fat grown ass chodes with tucked in shirts running for the 7 train on their way to work like they're running for their life.

Have a long day at work, don't leave till like 6:45. My day is so busy. I check the forums when i'm in the bathroom or on the toilet but that's about it.

On my way back to work, I run into this girl I'm into. LIke she's #1 on my list. Co-worker. little cute blond chick - god i want that ass. I walk up in her personal space as she's having a cigarette and sort of shoot the shit w/her about the weekend. I only do so because she hasn't responded to my last 3 or 4 texts but i don't bring that up. I know my in-field game is a lot stronger than my text game so i just want to remind her that i'm not some fuckin chode she can shoo away. i laugh because she always brings up my texts and how insane they are and for this girl they're actually very congruent to how i act around her. do some light push-pull just to fuck w/her (yea i'm coming from the bank to pay off my child support" and she giddly waves goodbye. I should fuck this chick dammit.

Head home. FIrst i approach this older chick on the subway platform. she looks like she's 29, i look down to see if she's married - no ring so i go in. immediate blowout. Fuck. Scream louder as i walk away kinda like Tyler does to people in his seminars. Next girl, absolute goddess. I've seen her at my job (there's 2 big ass builidings and this is a pure inspiration). Open her HARD, start vibing. My train comes but i intentionally miss that shit. I catch the express w/her. Talk - pretend like i don't know where she works so i don't come off as creeper and keep vibing. she has a bf. o fuck.

Catch my connecting train. get out of the subway stop and for the fun of it approach some girl coming out of the subway. so un-necessary. vibe w/her but she has a Bf too.

go home and pass out as i'm beyond tired. get up, make dinner, read text game threads for an hour, leave voicemails, send texts ( i actually get 2 responses back!) lol....

Now about to bang out some MW drills and go the whole of Tuesday sleep-deprived again.

FUCK.

I see why i don't like to write FRs. It's feels like such a waste of time sometimes but i think it's cool as fuck to document my pscyhe.I'd like to look at this in 8-9 months and go yup i've progressed.

And damn i just read my journal from 6 months ago - I remember my psyche back then - fuck i'm so much stronger mentally/emotionally now even though i'm currently in a slump.

You can't be rejected if you're not trying to be accepted.

AKA: Buddhagames wearing a bright pink button down in the middle of hipster central...

@buddhagames:

yeah, so katalyst- I texted you this but I also wanted to post it here, a little more flushed out.

What I notice with you and montaigne is that both of you guys are, what I would consider, "Stereotypicall cooler" than me... In the sense that you guys dress the part and are a little more "conservative".. idk if that's the right word, but yeah...

It's sorta like you have this "idea' of what cool is... and you try to play up to that, as opposed to just doing your own thing and being flamboyant in a masculine way.

It's like you have this image of the "cool" guy that girls are going to bang and you think that being solid at pooah, means that you have to somehow fit into that box. WHen, in reality, being good at pooah is about taking that box, dismantling it and literally REDDEFINING what it even means to be a box, in the first place.

On a deep level, I feel like you are trying to "fit in" instead of "stand out"... it's almost as if you are afraid of standing out cause, then, people will have the opportunity to really hurt YOU and not some mask you've created to conceal yourself.

Obviously, your game is fucking MONEY... like everything I'm saying here is very very subtle (if it is true at all... just some observations)

Like, with me, when I walk into a club- I'm jumping up and down, screaming, being loud as shit- basically... When I walk into a club- it's VERY VERY OBVIOUS.... that i DO NOT BELONG...

BUT

Since I've accepted myself (not fully... but certainly on some level... I sitll got plenty of my own issues for sure- which I'd love to have pointd out to me so I can grow) it's almost as if I fucking ENJOY standing out... Like I enjoy just being myself and not belonging... Like if I'm walking in the middle of a crowd of people at a nyc club- you could spot me from a mile away... like... "Yeah... THAT guy doesn't belong here"- but i fucking OWN IT... in fact, I was completely oblivious to any of this, until you and montaigne pointed out that I didn't really look like I "belonged" at the hipster thing... like if you guys hadn't mentioned anything, I wouldn't have even thought of it for a second... purely because I'm obliviuos to it- this causes OTHER issues... just with my general socail awareness

But you have the social awareness down... but it's almost like you're TOO focused on that shit... you gotta be more oblivious and just not give a fuck.

Walk into the club and yell, scream, jump up and down, dance, be goofy as fuck... do things that will make you stand out... do tihngs that you are afraid to do because you may just look like you don't belong.... but then relaize that "not belonging" is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself... becuase then you realize taht you don't HAVE to belong to be great...

@buddhagames:

yeah, so katalyst- I texted you this but I also wanted to post it here, a little more flushed out.

What I notice with you and montaigne is that both of you guys are, what I would consider, "Stereotypicall cooler" than me... In the sense that you guys dress the part and are a little more "conservative".. idk if that's the right word, but yeah...

It's sorta like you have this "idea' of what cool is... and you try to play up to that, as opposed to just doing your own thing and being flamboyant in a masculine way.

It's like you have this image of the "cool" guy that girls are going to bang and you think that being solid at pooah, means that you have to somehow fit into that box. WHen, in reality, being good at pooah is about taking that box, dismantling it and literally REDDEFINING what it even means to be a box, in the first place.

On a deep level, I feel like you are trying to "fit in" instead of "stand out"... it's almost as if you are afraid of standing out cause, then, people will have the opportunity to really hurt YOU and not some mask you've created to conceal yourself.

Obviously, your game is fucking MONEY... like everything I'm saying here is very very subtle (if it is true at all... just some observations)

Like, with me, when I walk into a club- I'm jumping up and down, screaming, being loud as shit- basically... When I walk into a club- it's VERY VERY OBVIOUS.... that i DO NOT BELONG...

BUT

Since I've accepted myself (not fully... but certainly on some level... I sitll got plenty of my own issues for sure- which I'd love to have pointd out to me so I can grow) it's almost as if I fucking ENJOY standing out... Like I enjoy just being myself and not belonging... Like if I'm walking in the middle of a crowd of people at a nyc club- you could spot me from a mile away... like... "Yeah... THAT guy doesn't belong here"- but i fucking OWN IT... in fact, I was completely oblivious to any of this, until you and montaigne pointed out that I didn't really look like I "belonged" at the hipster thing... like if you guys hadn't mentioned anything, I wouldn't have even thought of it for a second... purely because I'm obliviuos to it- this causes OTHER issues... just with my general socail awareness

But you have the social awareness down... but it's almost like you're TOO focused on that shit... you gotta be more oblivious and just not give a fuck.

Walk into the club and yell, scream, jump up and down, dance, be goofy as fuck... do things that will make you stand out... do tihngs that you are afraid to do because you may just look like you don't belong.... but then relaize that "not belonging" is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself... becuase then you realize taht you don't HAVE to belong to be great...

We do vocal projection next session you're good. From there EVERYTHING you do has push

Yes Buddha's post is spot on. We'll get into this next session

@Katalyst:

Wed (08/08)

Get out kinda late. Absolutely tired tonight.

Can't even remember what happened. One of those zombie nights. Like fucked up Twilight zone.


i'm missing that mojo tonight. Montaigne is being too cool for school. We're both not really doing it

The only thing I remember is running into some little Mexican girl I met the previous Friday. I hit on one of her friends and they're like you're girl is here (talking about the Mexican girl). I think she's kind of butthurt by this and keeps hugging onto her friends when I approach, re-approach and re-approach once more. Ahh unluckyThing is her phone doesn't work in America and I contacted her as all though she was "i'm conservative.

Lots of dancing and forcing the fun but i'm trying to merge the two successfully (Fun and sexuality). Like be the fun pervert she can't resist. just one of those nights where we end up heading home around 3:30 instead of 4 like we usually do.

Thu (08/09)

Interesting dynamic that i want to bring up. I approach some hot British Indian girl on the train. She was finee. She has a boyfriend but I'm loud, charismatic and all and did all the right things. So i get on my next train and I see some tall blonde. And what? I have approach anxiety. That's my comfort zone/ego protection talking right thurr. If i do really good - I want to stay in that nice little pleasant "i'm cool as shit" zone and don't want to risk the next approach or look like an idiot. I have to kill this behavior but it is what it is at the moment.

Montaigne tells me he's at some high-end place. I'm like fuck mann - pressure. Then he tells me somewhere else - i'm thinking wtf how do i get in - the first place was tough, the second place EVEN tougher door. So i get there, and head to a couple of venues nearby approaching girls in various bars trying to find the hottest girls to bring to the club Montaigne is at. Nothing really bites so I say fuck it - just walk up to the door solo. Walk up full entitlement. Cut all the girls in line, talk a little shit to the doorman. He goes "yeah he's cool". Lets me in. I GET IN. NICE.

Ends up being honestly one of the most fun nights I've ever fuckin had. Sheesh i'm like full groupie for this club now.

I get there around 1:30 and it's sort of sparse and not that popping. My type of venue (starts later than usual). Do some light mingling w/girls here and there but i recalibrate and realize i'm better off just fuckin around and not giving a fuck. It starts to pick up around 2:30. Lots of fun and dancing.

Because my vocal projection sucks - I usually talk to girls in the smoking section to build up momentum. It's also way easier for me. I run into some girl who doesn't look like a dumb club party girl and start talking to her about intelligent shit. Nice way to sort of unstifle myself.

I actually did a lot of stupid crazy shit tonight but that's just me sometimes - i like to let go and release the chode self i have to maintain to keep hold of my day job. I've also made it a priority to almost force the fun. I'd like to get to that nice sweet spot where I can be fun but RELAXED AND SEXWORTHY. I mean it's better then being too cool for school. All that shit that Julien and Tyler talk about in the HotSeat was made for these elite elite venues.

I run into some hot tall brunette hottie. I tell her to tell her boyfriend that I'm gay and i bounce her to another part of the club. She's enjoying every moment of it. I lose interest (more like entitlement) and start talking to some other girls. The interesting thing is if my shit was tight, i probably could have done a lot more w/her. Potential finger bang, etc, at that point I had way more value than her bf because i was literally having the time of my life. Like - she mentioned her bf was boring and also lied to him when I first approached her, her bf, and all his friends. . Next time I will seize the opportunity. Wtf she was super hot. So i bounce off her into 2 other girls but at the time i realized i did this more from a scarcity/logistical point of view. 2 girls in the club - more likely down to get pulled than the girl w/her bf and his guy friends. So no not a dumb move on my part.

Talk to the 2 girls they're like 7s that me and Montaigne approached. I talk about stupid shit. I probably should have been more real. I need to stray back to authenticity. But authenticity for me is telling a girl" i want to bend her over and fuck her brains out" - which i'm very capable of doing and actually did a couple of times that night but something about saying such a thing lacks empathy and like Jeffy says isn't very "greased slide-ish".

Hit up a lot of girls tonight, do a lot of stupid shit but it's great. Everyone cares wayyy too much in this club. Fun eclipses everything. It's funny - i remember being in crazy stupid mode and pulling some girl away from 4 guys. One of the guys starts talking shit in some language so i grab his head and kind of move it back and forth lol in a dickhead self-amusing manner. He turns really red as one of the girl holds him back. I laugh because later on i just shake his hand to peace it up (so he doesn't randomly punch me in the back of the head or something) and he accepts my "apology". Done. Fun eclipses everything - i think he just realized it was all done in good taste.

I walk back into the smoking section. I run into some hot little 28 year old chick. yes i want a girl who knows where her vagina is. Do some playful little flirting and she jokingly says "she'll smack the shit out of me?". She does so, i stay pretty unreactive and i'm sort of awoken by this. Wake up call literally. I start being a nasty nasty ASSHOLE to her. I see her pupils dilate and she gets anime eyes. YES. Internalized. I probably would have a way better night if i was a fun ASSHOLE in the beginning of the night. She's not as compliant as I try to lead her around the club on some cool adventures. Start running around. Run into some cute little blonde. She blows me off 2 times and then i finally get her attention. Start running a lot of ACTIVE push on her. Go on some club adventures. Take a seat for 5 mins w/her afterwards. She keeps asking me "where my boyfriend is"? I tell her to shut the fuck up and keep talking. She says she has a boyfriend. She's also from Denmark or some shit like that. Ok i realize i don't really have much to say to this biatch. I just walk out of the club. Simple. On my way out the doorman says "ALL EXITS ARE FINAL". I ask him in front of the girl and he goes yes. Ok we're not coming back. We walk down the block, she sits on a stoop and then realizes that she has to go back into the club to get her friend. Damn botched pull attempt. It didn't feel that solid but at least i tried. The doormen gives me mad shit but he's like yo she's really good looking - I'll let you slide.

Round 2. Keep walking around. After awhile there's nothing left so i'm going up to promoters tables and talking to their girls. Sort of permission boy of me whatever as i'm hesitant to do so. Add to the comfort zone list but i want to get acclimatized to such a thing. Walk up. Boom hand of god or something else.

Outside the club, i'm feeling good. talk to girls on the street. It's 4:30 and montaigne who was having a bad night, find some chicks and pulls her. Wtf. I suggest we eat somewhere a couple of blocks way instead of around the corner so i suggest our usual place and upsell the shit out of it to the girl. But jeez montaigne is a fuckin beast. he's making me look at myself in the mirror HARD.

So i won't lie i go home sort of thinking about how the fuck i'm going to plot the GREAT ESCAPE FROM SCARCITY but after a night like tonight i can't get mad at myself. I put my heart out there and just didn't give a motherfuckin fuck. Glad i judge my nights on internal influence, not external.

Fri (08/10)

Head to a concert.

STIFLED. Like FULL STIFLED. I feel too cool for school. All my approaches are weak as fuck. I can't remember the last time i've been stifled. Actually - it was at another concert. Add that to the comfort zone list. Too bad they don't do free concerts in NYC anymore like that.

So i walk back completely stifled around 3am (when the concert gets out). I run into 3 girls talking to some black dude. I walk past them about 30 meters or so and realize "fuck it" now or never. walk back - grab the hottest one, do some flirty fun shit and isolate her. Can't # although she seemed so excited to meet me. probably no push.

Around the corner, stop some girl walking the other way. Talk to her for 20 mins, bounce her to another bar. no # close. wtf.

Do more street sets until 4am. Lots of cool interactions. No #.

Cloud of scarcity over my head still. but shit happens mann.


Sat (08/11)

I have to fuckin admit. This cloud of scarcity feeling is fucking me up hardcore because i keep thinking about it. At this point i feel like i'm there. i'm not even crawling though, i'm just stuck at the bottom of the pit w/the rats and cockroaches.. Although, i should really shift my internal RAS to WHAT I WANT, WHAT I DON'T WANT.

So yea I meet up w/montaigne he has some nice little girl w/him. We go to some other club, walk right in, i hang out w/him for like 5 mins but i'm definitely not about playing third wheel so I bounce back to where he was coming from.

I proceed to suck most of the night. Emotions are all over the place - maybe my female roomie and her nagging is starting to annoy the shit out of me. I should have followed David Deida's advice "tolerating her leads to resenting her". Maybe it's family shit. Or maybe i'm just feeling residual wear out from multiple 20 hour days. I've actually decided to make some DRASTIC lifestyle changes because at the end of the day I just want to be able to have my text game be half as good as my in-field game or whatever. Like just have the ability to get a date.

Eventually i stop being butt-hurt around 3am when Montaigne comes back to me and goes "fuck this place" let's go somewhere else. My rule is if we leave, we burn the boats so to speak.

I actually enjoyed what i'm about to describe only because if i was consistent w/this kind of outlandish, non-permission behavior EVERY NIGHT I think i would get laid a lot more. Also because i like to focus on positives. I'm in a slump right now, but some things i do here and there are way better than what i used to do.

So this girl was dancing hand in hand w/this guy. Like both hands clasped w/chode. I yank her forearm and go "YO I"M YOUR BABY DADDY NOW" and pull her away. Drag her into a little nook and cranny. Crank up the fun. Throw her around, am just silly and indifferent. Start making out w/her. She's my type of girl. cute, intelligent. i would more than likely enjoy sex w/this one. i try to finger-bang and she objects. She says things like "i'm not drunk enough for this" multiple times. Me being the economical guy that i am i refuse to get her drinks. I think a shot or two for the girl was all i needed to do. it's like dammit - spend the money. I lead her around the club but she eventually sort of runs off.

Timeout: I had a talk w/montaigne about this and i'm convinced that the only reason why naturals get laid more than intermediate players is that they understand the player's dilemma and actually ignore it i feel. Instead of running around the club like an idiot like a player would to find 5 more girls to # close (player's dilemma) - when they find one they like they stick the fuck in. That's a principle that i have to fuckin internalize. Especially during this period of scarcity that I'm in. This girl was begging to get fucked. BEGGING literally. "i'm not drunk enough". All i could have said was like "problem solved. you and me. after party. at my house". My fridge is stocked w/liquor from my bday party that i don't know what to do with it. she would have been perfect candidate to drink half that shit.

I'm Gay sometimes.

Leave the club do a lot of dumb dumb self-amusing bullshit. lost focus but i was having fun fuckin around. . I should have had that killer instinct but nothing really solid materialized.

I learned that i have to show my pearly whites and TALK LOUD.

@Katalyst:

Yeah man, that "IM YOUR BABYDADDY NOW" shit takes some fucking balls to do. I could see myself doing that maybe if I was feeling CRAZY, lmao, but that's some awesome shit. Definitely stick it in next time like the natural would. Guys like you have potential for getting #s any time of day so eff that when you feel she's turned on ramp up the shit or yeah take logistical measures like telling her your fridge is filled with liquor. Other than that idk i've been experimenting with stuff like killing the girls "buyer's remorse" i think it's called by acting like im the one that needs value. like for instance if going over to a girl's place is being brought up say shit like "well do you have cable" then she has to meet your standards not the other way around. And when girls are like "im just coming over to hangout" or "dont expect sex" type of shit use those classic "im a virgin" manwhore lines.

Yesterday i was talking to some chick who had a bf, she kept justifying to herself outloud that she was just being friendly, even tho we kept taking the convo sexual, lol. When she did that I was like "yeah, i dont want to take things any further with you than they've already gone" and her tonality/eyes instantly got more sexual. So yeah try to make her chase

And snap yourself out of that bullshit at concerts dude. I've had some of the most fun beasting at concerts its the shit. Infact im trying to hit up way more of them.
'cuz they're all "listening to the music" waiting there like sexy little geese waiting to be plucked. concerts are like a mix between day/night game i feel like

Agreed. All that logistical shit is very important to do.

And the concerts thing is just a comfort zone thing. I'll get over it soon.

@Katalyst:

Thursday 08/16

Was feeling sick Tuesday night and fatigued after Wednesday night so i hadn't been out in 5 nights or so. Roll out and meet up with Montaigne. Overall a frustrating night for both of us as we don't even attempt to go to any clubs and decide to run street game all night. My thoughts from now on are if we can't find something good by 1:30 - we just roll to another neighborhood or something where pastures are supposed to be more fruitful.

First we roll up flirting with a bunch of chicks in the street and we're just mingling. I run into these 3 Persian girls. Talk to one of them and isolate her, try to get her to roll with us to another club. Keep hitting girls up no bueno. I see the Persian girl from before, hook her hard, command the girls to come with me to the club i was trying to get them to before and we walk a couple of blocks to the club w/Montaigne. We get there and the doorman subtly tells me that there's too many of us. I think this club is on some 1 to 3 ratio shit. I should have just let the 3 girls and Montaigne go in and then figured out some way to get in since last week the doorman just let me in solo. Or i could have added more girls to the group. Eventually the lead girl starts to get all stressed and shit and tells my girl and montaigne's girl to ditch us and go straight to the doorman. Me and Montaigne decide to ditch the girls and just bounce somewhere else. I was a bit pissed about the lack of empathy from the lead girl. I really should internalize this this is the way to play the game though, girls will always go for what they want, so we should do the same and never feel bad about it. I still have empathy and don't want to hurt a lot of these girls when I really shouldn't give one fuck if they end up butthurt.

But the night ends up being very unproductive because we don't go into any venues. We proceed to walk around, I get a couple of numbers throughout the night which for me was a positive because i was in TOTAL scarcity for the past couple of days. I've let a bunch of numbers go cold from the previous week and i wasn't able to # close any girls during the week. I did a couple of subway approaches during the week but i was lacking that belief.

Friday 08/17

Not the greatest night but whatever. The night was a bit chaotic in the beginning as i wanted to get Montaigne and Buddahgames into the venue as I'm sort of tight with the door staff.. First get Montaigne in, do a quick lap and then eventually get Buddahgames after a little bit of fretting and stressing. I was really out of it in the beginning of the night while we were pulling girls from the street. Before we went in, BG went up to these 2 cute girls from London and i sort of murmured "yea i'm only talking to you because you're helping the penis to girl ratio". BG says chill out to me because I'm being a dickhead, but 5 minutes later as BG hooks the girls and i realize i have to play it cool, i win the girls over with my fake british accent and mention how stupid i was for making the penis to girl ratio comment. All good in the hood. Get in, bounce around, BG is ON POINT, Montaigne is having a rough night.

I was really working on my vocal projection which at the moment is my core focus. The goal is a month from now to ever have to have a girl go "What?". I find this is the case usually but i've been able to circumvent this for all these months by cutting the physical space between me and the girl. Now i don't open with hand of god or personal space invasion anymore. Like tyler says 'yesterday's gimmick becomes todays crutch'.

Roll into my homeboy AS89, good people. I was working on being loud in front of him so i'm just a total dickhead to this one girl while i'm doing impressions of people. Funny self-amusement times.

I actually learned a lot from AS89 when I was in set w/him. He was ridiculously honest with this chick and she just kept giving him shit test after shit test. it was a good reinforcement for me to see because I feel like I've strayed from that hardcore authenticity which to be honest I need to start doing more. Just start being more psycho and playing up my personal strengths. When i do this girls REALLY love me and to be honest my one strength in the game has been "shock value" aka a bold move or it's usually down to some next level of persistence . As you will see in Saturday's report pulling out the "shock value" daring shit is just my strength for some reason. I'd like to be able to be more versatile but chicks just love me when I'm bold and not giving a fuck or very persistent.

I roll up on this Spanish girl who's pretty cute. Talk to her for a bit and she's sort of lukewarm. Something in me after 3 minutes is like 'yo just go for it' and i start making out w/her. She's like "whoa I'm embarrassed". I'm like wtf. Realize she's from spain so she meant she was horny. Decide to whisk her around the club for some adventures. she starts to panic when she can't find her friend. A part of me wants to stay in set w/her because her logistics are damn good but it was kind of early so I decide to be non-needy and move on. It sucks though because it was my best set of the night and i couldn't find her afterwards.

For the rest of the night, I force the fun as the DJs are beyond amazing. Also proceed to get blown out a shitload as i'm working on my vocal projection. Eventually I will get there. I feel like once i'm LOUD a lot of problems will auto-correct. I already am capable of being very witty, so i just need to bring out that loud side.

Saturday 08/18

Tonight was a fuckin blast. The amount of fun, leading, dominance, unstifledness, being an ASSHOLE, being THE PRIZE, I got a glimpse of how being and feeling like a 10 is. Holy shit. tonight was one of my best nights EVER for sure

Roll out to the club. Buddahgames is waiting for me at the door with these 3 Australian chicks. They're cute but a bit older. At first i'm like fuck them let's go find something greener. We roll out and hit up a couple of other chicks. At second glance, I'm like yo Buddah my bad, they're cute. We go back in w/the Aussies, doorman subtly says nah. We ditch them politely and 15 minutes later Buddah meets this hot little bird and brings her to the club while I try to convince girls to come into the club with us. So buddah's with his girl, i spit some door game as 3 other girls join ask to join us.

As we walk in, chaos ensues, as Buddah is just making me fuckin laugh being all loud and charming and shit. That guy is a motherfuckin rockstar btw - his vibe is perfect.. I kinda feed off this so i start yelling YOLO and other stupid shit as I get in the venue, and with him being 2 times louder than me everyone starts looking at us going wtf. Like it was very bizarre in a good way. Literally half the venue stopped and turned around - noticing 2 idiots with a pack of girls bringing the party. We head to another part of the venue and BG starts singing Nelly and he gets like 5 other girls to start singing it. It was some really really fun shit.

I split from Buddah and his chick while I roll around. I'm just being silly and self-amusing. I'm feeling really good inside. Just pure offering value. One of those nights where you're inspired to be positive and i was present most of the night. Go on the dance floor, vibe and # close a bunch of girls.


Wing Montaigne w/these 2 girls from Texas. I really like my girl, she's cute and intelligent and has a quirky sense of humor. Her friend sucks. I tell some bullshit story and figure out their logistics in some sly manner and decide we'll probably stick it out because the logistics are decent. Long story short - my girl really likes me, but montaigne's girl is being sort of….not fun i guess. I think she felt pretty de-validated that montaigne was flirting with other girls in front of her. Eventually they leave, i # close. but fuck unlucky they couldn't get the D. I also think me and montaigne were being a bit reactive and expecting her to contribute to the party. If we had kept our frame and drew state from within the whole time she wouldn't have been won over a lot earlier.


We bounce straight into these asian girls. I isolate my girl and i tell her "i've never dated an asian girl" and we share some commonalities. she's cute and intelligent. She teases me for being half a chode and i sort of play along and give her a bit of shit. I think she subtly made me fall in her frame because i told her i used to be a FULL chode.... eventually i bounce her to another part of the bar and go for the make out. She says no so i tell her to "stop being asian" lol. still bounce her around and she's giving me shit for one of the waitresses (who i regular flirt w/) making smart comments and staring me down and shit. whatever. Eventually my girl is like "yo - i'm just not into you". Montaigne is sort of pissed because it's on with him and his girl and he gives up - but i'm like "yo dude more persistence go for it - don't make me sucking fuck your shit up".

I'm kinda vexed to be honest because me and my girl had a really good chemistry going on. It had to be something external but whatever at the end of the day it's all about how you do not how you react. Not too hard on myself, i continue to approach.

I then spot some girl looking at me standing next to some guy, I instantly isolate her and start spouting all this asshole nonsense. "Yes i'm an asshole raised in New jersey, i have no redeeming qualities". Total pimp talk. I guess where she's from in Ohio and lie about my logistics as I tell her I'm moving to LA tomorrow or something like that. It's fuckin hilarious. I start making out w/her on the dance floor and then move her to another part of the bar w/me. Talk some more shit for like 2 minutes and then slam her against the wall and start making out w/her while putting my fingers in her crotch area. She keeps telling me to slow down and keeps calling me a fuckin retarded asshole. I of course like this. I have a lightbulb moment and think "yes go for the bathroom pull". As i'm dragging her towards the bathroom - she's like i'm not going home w/you. I walk past security and luckily the bathroom attendant isn't there. I walk inside the bathroom, she gives me slight resistance and then i drag her ass inside.

Slam her against the wall. Start making out w/her. start finger banging while i pull out my condom case. I'm having massive trouble opening this thing while i'm doing so. She's really into it and riding my fingers up and down as i let her thong down. I whip my cock out and drop my pants to her ankles. She starts stroking it but my dick is dry. I try to force her head down but she won't let me do so. Finally get the condom case open w/one hand. Put the condom on and try to fuck her standing up but that would be retarded. I'm slightly awkward as well (i haven't seen vagina in 8 weeks). Sit her down on the toilet and pull her into reverse cowgirl. I fuckin can't get my dick in. While i'm trying to do so i realize my hand is absolutely covered in her cum and i can feel her juices flowing down my leg. she hears some girls near our door and goes i can't, i can't. Ok wash rinse repeat. Pull her panties down, but this time i get tired of her shit and just rip her fuckin thong off. she's literally mortified and goes "you just ripped my favorite panties ASSHOLE". I am of course absolutely loving this. Some more making out, but some girls are outside our door and she's like fuck this shit. I was literally literally inches away from the vagina and accomplishing my "dream". but such is life, this shit is a game of inches.

In retrospect, i should have gotten her hot! Like suck on titties, all that foreplay kind of stuff. Whatever. I was more than happy that i had a bathroom pull. I've fucked in a bathroom before but the girl sort of led me in, but tonight was a big breakthrough because I initiated it from start to finish.

After that, i'm in mega state. I still get blown out but i'm laughing of course when it happens. I think security was sort of looking for me because they saw us walk out the stall together. I just act sort of chilled out because i've gotten kicked out of clubs before and don't want to get kicked out this one! Play it cool then...

Roll up on some cute Asian girl on the wall dancing w/her friend. Her friend is beyond busted so there's no way I'm gonna call montaigne to wing me. I flirt w/my girl and i sort of still notice security lingering in the area so I make it seem like the girl is gaming me which she completely is because she can probably smell the pussy juices all over my finger. she starts saying all this stupid sexual shit and i'm running some pretty good push-pull on her. I've noticed i ran too much PUSH so i bring her back in and go "haha just kidding I can read - i studied economics" after telling I couldn't even read my own name. i kept trying to get her busted friend a guy so i wouldn't get cockblocked so i kept going up to random chodes and going "Yo - that busted girl is soooo horny, she will suck your fuckin dick like no other". finally find some hopeless chode to wing us. I think the busted girl heard me or understood what i was trying to do so she was slightly cold to him or he just probably sucked.. Lol this chode that i found is now trying to hit on my girl.. Cheeky barstard! I'm like "no chode get the fuck out of here".

So near the exit my girl is trying to convince her friend that she wants to stay in the club w/me. I'm like 15 feet away and the security guard who was rooting for me keeps shaking his head at the busted girl. I just continue to be non-needy and keep dancing. Maybe in retrospect I should have been more persistent but I'm usually too PULL and no PUSH so i played it cool. I guess out of the corner of my eye they left. fuckkk. I should have been more persistent. At the moment, all i could think of us was how awesome I was.

dance w/more girls till like 4:15 and afterwards I get a bunch of chodes to clap along with me and demand more music. Total self-amusement. The thing about really good clubs is that they stay open LATE.


Run into some cute Ethopian girl on the street. She loves me. Montaigne ends up winging me w/the fine ass mexican girl.I really wish i got her instead because she was fuckin fine but she was pretty drunk. We bounce the girls to pizza nearby w/her other friends and some promoter dude and push it till the bitter end like around 5. Logistics were poor but Montaigne and I are all about making Pushing it to the bitter end a habit. We get food and laugh about dumb shit till about 6.

TEAM YOLO.


I didn't get laid but how I can be mad at myself after like a night like tonight. actually haven't gotten laid in 8 weeks to the day but i've had lots of close calls in the past weeks. I can't really focus on the external anyways because I'm making internal progress and at the end of the day the goal is to be internally validated. sheesh though i was inches away. literally inches away. fuck. Just keep chopping wood and eventually i'll get there :)

Sunday 08/19

Head out in Brooklyn w/ Montaigne to do some day game. Get a bunch of #s. The belief wasn't 100% there but whatever give me a month or two with me making strides in vocal projection and text game and I'll be the charming asshole I strive to be.

I was happy that i did a large set of tattooed early 30 something year olds having a picnic. It was a tough set to do but i did a lot of things right and made them extremely intrigued about random stuff.

@Katalyst:

Wednesday 08/22

A fuckin uninspiring night.

First run into these 2 other RSD guys on the street while i'm waiting for buddahgames. Talk w/them but i'm distracted by all the girls passing by. Keep doing this for a while.

Eventually drag some 3 Brazilian chicks from the street to get in w/Buddahgames. I roll up on these 2 Italian chicks. Start talking to them. One is a hot brunette, the other one is a mild blonde. I talk to them for a bit but I'm not that present, ALIVE, dynamic. All lacking. No intent, just me going thru the motions, being a boring fuck. The entitlement is low when I'm talking to them. Buddahgames comes up and all though both are interested in my auto-pilot nonsense, I give BG the hotter one for some reason. Entitlement was severely low. Sheesh. I move my girl around and we end up getting them to split up but I'm just fuckin uninspired in this set. Eventually it dies, I move on.

Flirt a bit more w/girls in the venue. I'm always sort of auto-correcting while I'm out. I realize I can't force the charisma tonight so I'm better off just relying on being authentic and congruent to how i'm feeling.

I roll up on these 3 chicks and I'm very authentic w//one of them telling them that I feel like a chode and I just keep talking to them about normal mundane shit. I don't even say much at all throughout the interaction. It was kind of an eye-opening set because at the end of the set the girl asked me about 3 times for my phone to take her # down. I just thought that was sort of bizarre but made complete sense. Pretty eye-opening for me.

Roll up on the 3 brazilian chicks i met up with in the beginning of the night. still uninspired but I'm able to slightly charm them. Then some dude comes in and the RAS shifts and I realize they were literally just tolerating me.

Thursday 08/23

Uninspired daytime shit as well. Had a hardcore instant blowout in the morning, lol didn't even feel like approaching in the afternoon. I'm like jeez what happened to emotional control? I've been meditating!

Buddahgames texts me like he's at this hotspot. I walk straight up to the door no girls. He won't let me in. Fair enough.

I roll around the streets trying to find random girls. I just passively mention to some random girl walking home from work that she's cute. We start talking and I end up bouncing her to some bar like 2 avenues away. End up going on a "insta-date" and where out of chodeness I get us a round of shots because they're 2 for 1. This girl was sort of bizarre because she asked me whether i ever dated a call-girl and all kinds of other random questions. I think she was a dancer. something weird going on. I go for the mouth-rape because i am a hopeless opportunist she gets sort of pissed but still wants me to # close. Back to finding random fit birds.

I hit up BG, he's on his own insta-date w/these 2 other girls. I ask him if he wants me to wing, he goes no he's already established a good vibe w/the 2 girls.

I roll up on this girl w/eccentric shoes alongside her 2 other friends. If it's eccentric I'm in there. Flirt for a bit, I actually really like my girl, and get them to wait 5-10 mins for me while I figure out what's going on w/BG and his group. He's in la-la-land w/his girls so I end up bouncing my girls a couple of blocks, and one of the girls is crying about how she's sober while she's drunkendly stumbling over. I laugh w/my girl at her friend and out of boredom I start to do some more experimental shit while i bounce girls other places so I bring in these other 2 Italian girls to join our group. I talk about nonsense, Milano, and bullshit killing time while the 3 other girls figure out how they are going to get crying drunk girl home. Eventually the 3 other girls go home, I # close my girl and i bring 2 italian girls to the club. One's hot, the other's meh. We get there - i get rejected again.

I realize I'm just better off going up to one of the "best clubs in the world" by myself. Get in, chill out in the smoking section because my vocal projection isn't just there yet for the dance floor and flirt w/ a couple of girls. I'm not 100% clear in my intent tonight. I'm also not "feeling" it tonight. Fuck i'm a slave to my emotions.

Regardless, I still execute the program. Asshole game is what works in this venue. Hit up a bunch of chicks. Eventually BG rolls up w/some couple and they have a table. He's having the time of his life and absolutely killing it. Macking on a super hottie. i was impressed and seeing him made me step my shit up a bit.

I was saying some asshole shit to some girl, just literally flinging her body around the club. End up making out w/her. She freaks out. It made sense later because i ran into her and her boyfriend (who is the doorman at some club that "banned" me awhile ago). So that was a definite positive for the ego tonight.

Some random chode tried to fight me because I was macking on one of his girls and she liked it - making a big fuckin deal out of nothing but I saw him trying to fight like 2 other guys so he came to the club to fight not fuck.

Still run around, flirt here and there but I'm disappointed because I didn't leave my soul out in the club.

Friday 08/24

I get to NYC w/my little brother around 2am after running errands in Jersey all day then taking a nap and doing the required "ME" time before I go out every night. I actually thought about taking some time off from the game. chode thoughts. chode thoughts that i ignored. Probably that external validation pain-body coming to light. I mean it feels unpleasant that the slump has still continued but I've suffered way more earlier in my life so I don't even know why I'm being fussy about the slump. Literally I was hard-case virgin newbie coming into the game so I should have no complaints about not getting laid in the past 8 weeks..

Roll up on this indian girl. She's like a 7. Her friends like a 6.5. I roll up to the door w/the two of them and my bro and BG and the doorman's being a dick saying "only you" to me. Fuckin bizarre. I get my bro and 2 girls into another venue and run some street game. Do street sets for an hour. Still sort of uninspired, going through the motions. Just running the program. I end up creeping these 2 artsy girls out HARD. Idk y?I thought it was bizarre. Lol BG goes up and was like "ill protect you from that weirdo" which was actually a really intelligent way of hooking them in. I roll up on some other girls in the area, start flirting, still not present.

Roll up on a bunch of girls but I'm missing that cutting edge. that certainty, that belief. Just flat out weirdness.

My bro hits me up saying the 2 girls from before are asking where I am. Rejoin them go to another venue. While we're walking I'm just indifferent to everything because why should i care Get inside. Isolate my Indian girl on the dance floor and act like an idiot which I've learned is very good. I'm faking the fun hard as hell. I think i'm so good at it that you really can't tell when I'm out of it or in it to win it. I'm convinced it's just one of those characteristics that will pay off dividends a couple of months from now.

I bounce her over to the bar area, and she gets me a water. She was responding to me like I was total BOSS. Tonight was actually a mini breakthrough because as my vocal projection has gotten better and I give somewhat less of a fuck I was playing with the playful dominance I learned from my mentor and she sort of responded in that manner. This is some pretty powerful stuff I learned from Manwhore - i think eventually I'll get the hang of it and then run off with it.. I just enjoy talking shit anyway. I keep rolling around w/her. She won't let me make out w/her and I keep fucking w/her. Her logistics fuckin suck (she's out of town and staying w/her friend FAR FAR AWAY) and my logistics actually aren't the best tonight. So I don't end up pulling her although it was probably one of those ones where I should have pushed it to the bitter end and figured out a way to make the logistics work because she did sort of want to go home with me.

Come think of it, previous paragraph is full of poor excuses - I should have gone for the bathroom pull to be honest. Just figuring out a way to get laid every single time no matter the fuckin logistics considering she was from the West Coast. I let her not making out w/me effect me too much as in - yea she's not compliant. Who cares. if i comes across like i have asbergers i come across like i have asbergers .

I actually don't really feel in the zone often (maybe once a week - I'd like to improve that and I think that just comes from a stronger work ethic in other areas of my life) but I have to admit my baseline is getting stronger and stronger every night.. Haven't really been in the zone of late but I'm still out there executing the program and I get the feeling a month or two from now even when I'm not feeling it I'll always be able to salvage some kind of "result".

Saturday 08/25

I would say I'm on really good terms w/maybe 4 or 5 top venues in the city on most nights just from going out a lot and talking a lot of shit to bouncers and doormen in general. I'd like to expand that where I can just roll up to like 15 top venues any night of the week and I'm good to go from "sweat equity". Going to proactively develop that.

Walking up to the venue feeling slightly stifled so as I pass venues w/my lil bro and I start screaming "Chodes" at people waiting in line for self-amusement. Great way to be the center of attention. Even if it's negative.

It takes me, my lil bro, Montaigne, and Buddah about 40 mins to get us all in. Doorman is extremely heated at me for pulling in random girls and my friends so I'm leaning towards taking a vacation from that venue for awhile. It doesn't make any sense why he would be mad because 80% of the girls are fuckin hot. A change of scenery might be good for a while anyways.

Get in. Roll up on a couple of sets. Roll up on this tan Russian girl. I'm being silly and playfully dominant. She's keen but ends up leaving w/o giving me her #.

Hit up these 3 Swedish girls. Flirting w/this tall hot tan brunette from Sweden. She was fuckin hawt. Isolate her from her friends and Montaigne. I'm slightly not so entitled and she can probably sense that so I'm DONE. This after running massive amounts of PUSH. It didn't help that she could barely hear me. I'm thinking to myself "Fuck I'm literally yelling". Well yup - Field is King. I have to be louder. My vocal cords have gotten slightly stronger as now when I yell on the street people react but my talking still isn't that strong. Have to remember to breathe when I speak to add some more rhythm. Just ordered the Voice Book after reading some random thread on the main RSD forum. See how it goes. Voice is my #1 sticking point at the moment still.

Run around the club, get blown out by some girls HARD, other girls love me, etc. I have to re-embrace this concept of warming up and getting into that social zone, just talking shit to random people without wanting anything from them. For me the slump has been more than humbling, but it's made some blindspots incredibly visible.

I run into some Asian girl I actually met last Saturday. You can read the FR in detail but long story short I was playing it too motherfuckin cool after pulling some random blond chick into the bathroom. She saw me and her eyes sort of sparkled and I made the decision then and there that I was just going to stick it out w/her and bang. Last week she asked me to stop playing so hard to get.

End up spending 2 hours with this chick in a multitude of locations around the club. Literally she was saying we were going home together, hanging out at some festival in Brooklyn the next day. Literally asking me whether I wanted to pull to her place or go to mine. I said hers. i should have just said mine. After chilling out w/her - making out w/her but no finger banging though - She was revealing all types of insecurities about herself "I'm usually some Asian sex object to most guys" and me displaying some empathy "i like you because you're smart not cause you're Asian or cute". Share some commonalities w/her - she shows me all these spring rolls she made - i laugh in my head because she's super Asian but it's really cute shit - her spending her Saturday afternoon making kazillion spring rolls. Something tells me this will be fun times, she's easy to talk to.

So around 3:15 I make the decision to pull and find my lil bro and give him my subway card and my spare keys. I get back to where we are sitting and she's gone. I run into her roommate and he's asking me where she is, I say I don't know, he texts her he can't find her. Little Miyoko ran off :(

I walk around the club looking for "Miyoko" and I can't find her. Ok make the conscious decision 10 mins to keep going. Start hitting more girls up. Start dancing w/this British girl. She busts her ass pretty hand while we're dancing. I don't think she was too amused I was grinning. Hit up a majority of girls around, have fun w/my lil bro.

Me and my lil bro end up doing street sets together. I run into this lovely lovely British girl at the end of the night. I eventually get kind of sick of her and decide to dip off.

I was pissed at my stroke of misfortune but it was probably of my own making - talking about logistics beforehand but I was very very pleased that I got over the state crash of her just running off on me very quickly. +1 for emotional control.

@Katalyst:

Thoughts/Comfort Zone.

Just want to quickly document where my headspace is at the moment. I've gotten over the haven't gotten laid in a while fog that was prominent in my brain about 1- 2 weeks ago. It's no longer in the forefront of my brain, but in the back of my head.

I've noticed that I've slowly started to lack that belief that I once had about 2-3 months ago where I was like "yes I'm a hot guy and you should talk to me". I mention this because I was having a convo w/Haze a week ago and he mentioned that one thing I had managed to skip over (in addition to vocal projection) was a firm understanding of buyer/seller dynamic. This is highlighted by going out with Buddahgames where I've noticed he is probably too buyer in some sets, while I'm usually too seller. it's a fundamental I have to go over w/my mentor. But that's a fundamental flaw that I need to address to see any sort of progress in my game.

I'm not even going to go into text game at the moment but this is where I currently stand in the game. This hasn't been the greatest summer in terms of results, but i feel like i've improved in certain areas over the past 2 months. Like my belief in the subway and as I go about my day is better and will only get better. I've started to have FUN when I go out. I actually have two AMAZING wings now that make me question what the fuck i'm doing wrong literally EVERY night which is healthy. Pushing my reality.. I've been learning some good things about game from Manwhore.

I fully realize you can't control external results only internal stuff. I've had some unlucky situations happen to me over the past couple of weeks but I've been able to bounce back every time instead of going home butt-hurt.

I have to remind myself of what the next step of what I fear is and continue to push that comfort zone so i become centered. Eventually I won't give one fuck but until then I have to push myself to the brink. Get that fear.

Not getting laid in 8 weeks or going on a date in 12 weeks is sort of bad especially with my in-field qualities, but I've gone through way worst in my life so it's made me not lose my shit completely although i have already started to demand more from myself.

Currently I fear:

1. Talking LOUD and having everyone hear me - I literally need to be samuel l. jackson for the next month. I bought this Voice Book that some guy off the main forum said was very good so we'll see how that adds to how much that helps in addition to my vocal projection drills at the current moment. Sometimes I do this very well and I can feel the whole subway car look at me and listen to my conversation but it's not as consistent as it should be. I really don't want a girl to ever go "excuse me or What?"

2. Being the most persistent person for text game - Texting girls that I want to take out EVERY single fuckin day. It takes a while for me to craft a text so maybe from now on just focusing my efforts on my favorite 5 girls at the moment, and then using the other girls for pure experimentation and becoming calibrated more quickly on what I can do and what I can't do. Fuck it. Full psycho mode.

3. Cutting down my reaction time during the daytime - I rarely go straight IN when I approach during the daytime. I'm usually thinking, looking around the environment

4. Doing mixed sets during the daytime or approaching girls on their phone in the daytime . Slight belief stuff. Will help the entitlement cause

5. Going for bathroom pulls more regularly - I just recently eclipsed this barrier and I'm up for it. I can do it.

6. Be willing to look like a fool . I recently realized how much I give a fuck. Need to stop giving a fuck at all. Who cares? If you're taking more action than the next man why care?

At least doing 4 or 5 of these at least 3 times a week will help me get to where I want to go.

@Katalyst:
Wednesday 08/29/2012

The goal is to spend for fuck sake - 15 minutes a night TOPS to writing out FRs. Then visualize what I should have done better when I go to sleep. I don't like taking this whole womanizing thing seriously but I've got to really focus on this to hit the next level so I'm going to get super obsessive about it for the next 3-4 weeks then focus on school(which I start in 2 weeks).

Let me actually touch on what happened to me yesterday. I was on a mad one yesterday approacing a shitload of girls on my way back home. What made me livid - at myself - was two girls were like "uhmm nah....thanks for your bravery" after approaching them on the subway. I was like wtf something's got to change.

I haven't approached girls on my way to work in awhile and I'm struggling at the moment to unstifle myself so early in the morning. It's something I've got to put 200% focus on. I've been doing silly unstifling shit like yelling random people's names outside my building in Times Square but I'm pretty stifled in the morning. Got to work on that.

On the way back from work, I sort of unwind and start hitting up a lot of stuff. Got some French girl's # on the subway after doing a shitload of push. Probably too much of it was done but it was a marked improvement over the lovey-dovey bs that I usually do during the day time. I'm just going to be a loud dickhead for the rest of my life.

Meet up with Buddah, do some street sets, we're both doing a lot of experimentation at the moment - it feels weird but we'll figure it out. We eventually hit up a venue. It was great - we were insulting these trio of British girls on the street the whole tIme we were talking after them initially telling me to "not grab them". It was pure self-amusement and awesomeness. Fuck tonight was short but a lot of fun as Ive decided to be a LOUD DICKHEAD and pretty much spent the whole night actively playfully insulting girls. There's a interesting dynamic in play and I think once I get it down it will be golden. Especially when I get the vocal tonality down as well. Gotta give Manwhore props for really highlighting my blind spots.

Get in the venue, i'm having a blast. Feels free to just let go. I was doing stupid shit for like 20 mins. Just pure aimless fun. Talking shit to this Japanese couple, just being silly. I was taunting this Polish girl on the dancefloor and she was loving it. Then switching modality from entertainer man to straight up dickhead and saying shit about Poland that was anything but polite while physically embracing her in a dominant manner. She introduces me to her friend, who's sort of some chodette watching me being silly and embracing her friend from time to time. I figured out her logistics and they were damn good. A part of me was like yo fast escalation. But I don't know why I didn't act on instinct, I was in two minds and decide to let it breathe. I walk around a bit more, come to find her and she's gone. Probably too much push. I was sort of bummed because it was a golden opportunity and just SMELLED like bathroom pull.

It's all to the motherfuckin good. I will be going out on a nice little streak - so I'm looking to internalize a shit load of new behaviors every single night.

Thursday 08/30

I didn't know being a dickhead could be so much fun. Like game literally has taken a new meaning for me. I'm about to search the shit out of these forums for anything related to PUSH. I never was doing it before. If you're reading this and you've read any really good articles w/theory behind it or some good examples PLEASEEE post a couple of links on here. Anways actually i like about never doing it before - I went through a whole push phase exactly around 6 months ago but I only did when I was inspired and in-state. i don't know why I didn't do it more often because now when I think of it when I did it girls REALLY liked me. And some used to freak out. Now i'm trying to make this shit the norm.

First, let me start with my daytime shit. I finally approached a girl on the way to work after not doing so for like a week. I watched the tyler - shut the fuck up and do it video. On my walk to the subway station I unstifled myself by screaming YOLOOOOO the whole time. Some cop literally start following me. I got on the train and I saw some girl. She was aight - like a 7. I hesitated for like 15 seconds (way too long) and then i was like 1-2-3 GO. Get up to her, start talking. I'm sort of in my head and i convey this to her. She starts treating me like a chode and almost wants to get back to her phone or whatever. DONE. Fuck i hate being a chode. What was interesting though is that like 3 mins later, I chastised her "YO WTF, you made me take my fuckin sunglasses off". Everyone around sort of turned around then went back to their chode day but she was damn attracted after that. I have to admit i was feeling too cool for school so I didn't really chase her afterwards. But that was a defining moment. The PUSH creates the attraction.

I did another subway approach coming from work and it was so chode, that it actually really put me into my head. I was like jeez wtf.

Head out with Buddahgames. The goal is just to be a LOUD DICKHEAD. We roll up on some street sets but it's just not clicking "the whole being a dickhead" kind of thing. We roll up into the venue. I see Buddah talking to some chick, and i didn't even realize that Talent was next to me and I sort of wing him..... I get in and immediately start giving the girls shit and I'm just wittier and slightly tooling them. I had them on the complete ropes. Now Julien's videos make so much sense. I have to re-watch all of them. My whole game is going to be transformed now. I'm kind of excited. Once I'm loud as fuck and get the push calibration down I feel confident that I'll have the fundamentals covered.

So I was fucking with all of the girls, having a fuckin blast, calibrated accordingly and the # close just felt so much more solid. I'm seriously excited for the future. I can't wait till I mix the two together, raw authenticity w/PUSH - holy shit. Like i can't even sleep right now. fuck. I'm going to be a dickhead for the rest of my life. heheh.

Get out on the street, Buddah is making me fuckin tear up with some of the shit he's saying. It's great. I'm doing really stupid shit as well and we're just going around being fuckin idiots.

We hop into another venue, I find some drunk cougar. Start dancing w/her. Start verbally taunting her. Quick makeout. Drag her around the venue and make her really qualify herself to me. Asshole mode for the win!. I pull her into some little nook n cranny and continue more makeout times. Security breaks us up. Fuckin fags. I chill back, some chode is w/her friend and for some reason we all get kicked out the bar. Ok most of the time I get kicked out of a venue its because I was doing something stupid but this is was just stupid. I'm outside w/my girl, her friend and some chode. Chode is trying to lead the party but he's too needy and shit. I play it cool, light kissing here and there, have the girl rub my boner against my skinny jeans "look what you made me do :)". And start talking extra dirty. She kind of objects so I'm like ok chill back. Wash rinse repeat. She and her friend are fuckin hilarious btw. Chode eventually blows himself out. Just chill bro - they're like 6.5s.

I actually chill out for 5 minutes and sort of ignore them. I gauge the odds and realize it's 3 something so i might as well stick w/it. Go back in, lead, win over the friend, and we take a cab to my car.

Get back to their place. I tease my girl during the car ride, just sort of placing my hands in between her legs and make her squeeze my boner from time to time. I made out w/her friend as well but that girl wasn't drunk she was fuckin wasted and in need of some dick.. My girl kept saying "damn babe, me and you are fucked". Slight foreshadowing. She and I knew the logistics were messy but I said stick it out to the bitter end.

So "I have to use the bathroom" and my girl is cool with it. Get back to their apartment in Williamsburg. They don't have the fuckin keys. I wait w/them for 20-25 minutes, my girl's little sister wasn't picking up the phone. O fuck logistical nightmare. I invite them back to my place, but the girl's friend is being an annoying drunk emotional wreck and I think i'm better off not taking them to my place (my roomie is the most anal retentive person ever) I decide to leave and am slightly angry at myself for wasting 30-40 minutes w/them but I'm a damn opportunist at the moment.

Whatever I'm looking forward to re-starting dickhead mode in exactly 4 hours. And damn that post took 25 minutes to write.

@Katalyst:

Friday 08/31

Start the day off good, finally starting to get some entitlement talking to chicks on the subway.

Head out and meet up with Montaigne, Buddahgames, and Talent. Roll up in - I'm sort of stifled and feeling too cool for school. Kind of wanting to hold onto the good emotions I've been feeling from the ASSHOLE challenge. Get in unstifle myself, literally blow out my vocal cords early.

Do a lot of uncalibrated PUSH tonight. Some of it good, some of it over the top, some of it bad. In the coming weeks, I'll finesse it and bring it out in the right places. It's great though, I'm saying all this fucked up shit and even though it's incongruent at the moment it's really really potent. To me buyer/seller dynamic is like the holy grail for pickup. Fuck. Can't believe I didn't pay attention to this.

Run into Buddah, and me and him are just being straight up uncalibrated jack-asses. He's already sort of got THAT GUY vibe going on so once he gets the calibration down he's going to take the money and run with it.. He's loud as fuck, got that dominant vibe and has that knack of saying that quirkly left-field thing randomly when he's flirting w/chicks. I literally fell to the fuckin floor when we were talking to these 3 Argentian girls because he opened yelling about some chick's tits. I was like wtf.. Once me and him get down the PUSH in the right manner...WHOA. I think we started to over-think shit and failed to keep the momentum we had going because we were being over the top dickheads. It got awkward when we talked to these 2 chicks, and it only got awkward because we weren't being authentic w/them as you could see they were expecting somethng authentic to come round.

Buddah dips out, I roll around, have a slight state crash, I'm in two minds about whether I should just go get some sex from cougar chick from last night who's texting me where she's at, but I decide to stay "abundant" and stay focused in the venue. Build "state" again. Funny - I haven't been really ON in awhile which is good because my baseline as in "im not in the ZONE tonight" game is just getting stronger and stronger. Meaning my mid-game is getting better and better and my ability to just execute the program is on-point. Run into more girls, just keep approaching. Run into some Brazilian girl, i'm just saying off the wall asshole shit to her at first. It doesn't even make any sense.... slowly start to notice that she starts to chase so I decide to stick in.

We end up talking for about 30 minutes. She introduces me to her all friends, is super into me and we make out here and there. I wasn't feeling so ambitious tonight for some faggity reason so I didn't push it to the bitter end. I think i already had my mind set that she was down to go home with her friends because she seemed overly reliant on them for stuff. I should have pushed it fuckin hard and to the brink.

Tomorrow night - September 1st, September should be an interesting month and this is the month I'm hardcore focusing on improving the fundamentals, approaching, BEING LOUD, BEING A DICKHEAD. Outside of womanizing, I start coding school in less than 2 weeks, going to be a hectic work week come. All in all, a lot going on for me in my life and I feel confident that this summer slump I've been in as been a mini-blessing in disguise. My game has been analyzed, critiqued, pretty much stripped down by Manwhore and he's given me a lot of stuff that I've yet to really really truly internalize - because there's a lot to focus on and I try not to get all logical when I'm out. Got to practice this shit in private..

Saturday 09/01

Tonight was extremely fun.

I'm slowly getting accustomed to the asshole (really push/pull) way of life and to me it is extremely thrilling and self-amusing for me. Like I really urge anyone with any articles you've read on buyer/seller or active push/pull to link it on here pleaseeeee. Some of you guys on here are really knowledgeable about this shit.. Don't be an asshole :)

I just randomly approached some girl at the grocery store holding her basket a couple of hours before i went out. instead of the usual good emotion providing that i usually do i just shoved her away verbally at any chance. she gave me a little shit as well which sort of threw me off a slight bit but I was cracking up in tears when she said "it was nice to meet you" and i told her it wasn't nice meeting her at all and instantly dismissed her. She then ran off hastily but I couldn't help but laugh. It didn't matter she was engaged, it was fun giving her shit.

Meet up w/Montaigne in Brooklyn for a change, i'll probably switch it up since I've been going out downtown a lot. I was a bit stifled actually when I first got to the venue because I was so used to sceny Manhattan spots. Get in, start being a loud dickhead, bounce the girl to another part of the venue and I think she couldn't handle my PUSH. She was pretty hooked.

Wing Montaigne in set w/two girls and instantly start giving her a lot of shit. I'm super playful and put one of those birthday hat things on her, then give her a "birthday kiss". Just fun role-play stuff and I bounce her to another part of the bar. I was going to get her a drink but then i thought to myself "stop being a chode" so i playfully tell her that I won't be her daddy anymore. I make out w/her and then she goes and runs off to the bathroom.

Have a minor state crash - I always get these and have to look into them. I start off really good, hit a low and then work myself up all the way to the end of the night. Fuckin weird. whatever.. Hit up some more girls, get blown out for feeling too cool for school a couple of times. Need to humble myself and just put myself out there. I was determined to not give a fuck tonight but I still gave a fuck. Eventually run into the girl from before and meet up w/her friend and Montaigne. I thought I was done, but i told her that i loved her and she ate it up. Made a habit of always moving her around in set just for my own self-amusement and to keep her on the ropes. Got to sprinkle in that investment and sit back but i have to admit that gets really boring. I do some hardcore push telling her she has no chance w/me because she's 21 and she walks back to her friend kind of confused and then i reel her in, but I think her friend misinterprets this as some serious neediness and is all overprotective and they end up leaving the venue.

Derp. Keep rolling around, some more uninspirational stuff while Montaigne is killing it. Run into some little cute girl. She's kind of feisty w/hood-esque mannerisms that i absolutely love because she's white making her more comical and Kreayshawny then ever. Start running hardcore PUSH ('yo your tits are shit" - ala Julien game) on her, she's there not responding too good to it but eventually starts giving me a ton of shit back. I do this for like 10 mins, her friend runs off and she tries to run off but her friend is like "you know you love him". After that, I know i'm good so I move her from where we were chilling and have her sit on my lap. Talk more shit, she won't make me physically escalate on her. Eventually move her to the dance floor, still running asshole game on her, eventually start making out, but she won't let me finger bang.

I get bored so I tell her i have to tell her something and just drag her out the bar. She gives me a hardcore shit test "DONT FUCKIN TOUCH ME NO MORE," why the fuck are we here but i get the vibe that this is a test so i refuse to apologize. Keep smiling at her and she just melts. I pick her up but don't really get a good grip so after 20 or so steps i get the vibe i'm gonna drop her. We eventually get to the corner, she starts calling me a rapist in front of all these random hipster kids. I'm just laughing - this bitch has a sense of humor. I'm like damn so close we're only a block away from the sex location.

She insists i take her business card several times and i finally accept it. We go back in the bar. This time the touching is way heavier, I demand she looks in my eyes so I can tell her that "I want to fuck the shit out of you". Just more emotional spiking here and there…approaching random girls in front of her and telling them that they're hotter than her in front of her face, but also being nice Katalyst from time to time (sharing water, telling her why I like her). Her logistics are fuckin busted and she has to go off w/her friend because she lives in Crown Heights and has her friend's phone. I try to manage that but i realize it won't work. She says she has to leave so i say fuck it and approach a couple of other girls. Montaigne lets me know she's outside. I realize i have to GET LAID AT ALL COSTS so i ditch the girl i'm talking to inside and go outside and flip the middle finger to her. Chode security guard gets mad at me for lack of respect to women blah blah.

I'm so addicted to emotional/asshole game right now. Fuck why wasn't I an asshole before? Jeez. So exhilarating and self-amusing for me. Finally getting women to respond to me like I AM THE PRIZE again, it's great feeling BOSS DADDY. I actually struggled with being a real authentic asshole to 90% of girls tonight but with time hopefully I can be a positive charming lovable asshole at will to all of them.

@Katalyst:
This has been one of the most pivotal weeks I can really think of since I got back into game a year ago and it's not because of one result or something, just a subtle shift in the mindset as well behaviors and now the way I'm coming up to girls JUST MAKES SENSE to them. After receiving comments after approaching from girls like "THANKS FOR YOUR BRAVERY" or "THANKS FOR BEING BOLD", my philosophy now is "put that bitch on the ropes".

Lol now that's definitely an exaggerated and harsh way of saying I'm being a positive asshole but really that's what I'm striving for - to have the girls literally defend themselves against me conveying the full range of emotions (verbal and emotional) . Fuck I'm having a shitload of fun at the moment. I'm still laughing at the shit that's coming out my mouth and Buddahgames when we're out. Most of it is uncalibrated and we don't know exactly what we're always doing but Friendly and Cool method has just turned out to just be a DICK.....I think this is only possible when you just don't care anymore. I've had an humbling summer and I just don't expect anything from girls anymore mann. Funny thing is I literally did this PUSH shit a while ago and knew it was the truth but I don't know why I swayed the other direction and left the asshole path (http://www.rsdnation.com/node/214693)? I'm back on it, and I feel like now when I # close girls, they will more likely than ever - respond. The progress I've made this week is phenomenal and to be honest all i'm going to do is re-read stuff like Manwhore's "I Am The Prize" articles and rewatch all of Julien's stuff from start to finish. Before I read and watched that stuff and it made sense but only on a superficial level, now I understand how to get the girl to react to me.

Once i get the PUSH calibrated, improve my vocal projection and sprinkle that in w/Bold statements of intent or straight up gropage. You're looking a certified rockstar. I won't lie to you - there were times over the past couple of weeks and the summer where I really doubted whether I was ever going to get good at this but now I believe. I really do. It's so profound this push/pull stuff. I laugh because I'm looking back at old FRs and all my goals were about PUSH and now I actually sort of know how to do it sort of properly now that I've been getting mentored by Manwhore.... Right now I'm pretty uncalibrated with it but these next few months are going to be really fun as I'll continue to get out there and push my comfort zone.

Sunday 09/02

Get back to Brooklyn like 2am from Jersey after chilling out with my lil bro n sis and my parents. Head out to my neighborhood bar right after I drop my stuff off. I walk by the bouncer and some girl says to me "I know that shirt". I dismiss her instantly ("yea thats what all of them say") as if she's some groupie or some shit as I'm kinda confused. Bad memory at work! She's decent (like a 6.5/7) and looks familiar but when you've been at it like me you just sort of side-step shit because they remember you more than you remember them. I'm also massively out of it and stifled. My physiology was beyond fucked up. I went to sleep at 11:30am and woke up at 5pm (go figure).

Eventually I talk to these 2 chicks. Run some push-pull on them. They were like 6s so it was outside their reality. It was good though, the girl was like "I've never felt so unloved and loved at the same time like this" ;)

Slim pickings at my neighborhood bar. I run into the girl who says that she likes my shirt. After some thought to it, I realize yo - it's the girl from this FR (Thursday May 3rd - (http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200089?page=13#comment-870686)

I should have tapped that if i had run proper text game. Long story short I don't really fight for it (she's with some chode). My fuckin ego is in the way.

End up going to another bar. Nothing great there either. Feeling egotistical as fuck. Approach a couple of girls but idk why I'm holding on to something. Dip off. Uninspired.

The Sunday night before Labor Day usually sucks. Next year I'm bringing my fuckbuddy over or for the very least staying home and jerking off.

Monday 09/03

Meet up with Buddahgames. I'm not into doing this chasing girls thing today neither is he. He also looks massively out of place. This motherfucker has the knack of ANTI-PEACOCKING. I've got a gash right above my lip from a plucked razor bump - and when i got there all I wanted to do is stay at home and wallow in the self-image paradigm then go out and approach. Fuck it, take action. Takes me a good 20 minutes to really get flowing. Once I start, keep going and I'm doing hardcore push pull.

Buddahgames tells me thug4life is rolling through. At first I roll my eyes thinking "not another RSD fag". Mistaken - dude is cool as fuck. I actually need to stop being so egotistical about that shit. My shit stinks anyways and I told myself I'm not trying to roll around like I'm better than everyone like Saad or something. So ya! If you're on this womanizing thing and you're rolling around - show me love, i'll show you love too.

We roll around hitting shit up. We hit up a fair amount of girls and I'm just being a positive asshole alongside Buddah. Getting girls has become way more exciting now for real. Whole new dimension has been added. We wing each other in a bunch of 2 sets, and shit's good. We're just giving off that playful dominant asshole vibe. Its good. I'm not in the zone, but I'm executing the program.

I roll up on some girl standing w/a girl and 2 guys. Go straight in, direct, start berating her for something stupid, Buddah comes in with his awesome left-field humor and has me fall to the floor when she asks him where he's feeling pain - he's like "GIRL I"M FEELIN THE PAIN IN MY DICK". in response to her question. That boy has some fuckin quirky humor mann.

The girl # closes me and hits me up and asks me to join her to smoke. I call her and she doesn't pickup. No biggie.

We walk a couple of blocks to the subway, talking game, hitting up stuff. I do one of my supermarket drills kind of weak and Buddah calls me out on it for being a giant pussy. Need to reinforce that shameless muscle that has gotten weaker as I've identified with being cool ass Katalyst over the years.

This is great. Going back to the fundamentals. I have an extremely busy work week ahead but I'm looking forward to Friday night.

@Katalyst:

I just want to clarify that when Katalyst says he, "Fell to the floor"... he LITERALLY... fell to the fucking floor. Like his body was on the ground.

Yes.

That happened.

@buddhagames:

And yeah- Katalyst was a MASSIVE PUSSY with his "supermarket drill"... I showed him how it was done.

That shit is like the stuff that I just have absolutely ZERO resistence to.

I changed it to Tampons too, just cause that's more awesome and something he clearly needs after his performance with this drill ; b

That being said- Katalyst def. understands this whole "push/pull" thing FAR better than I do... There was one set at the very end of the day as we were walking home where I was pushing SLIGHTLY on the girl and she tested me in a silly way and I didn't pull at all and he totally called me out on my shit and basically was like, "DUDE what the fuck are you doing? You HAVE to pull there... don't be fuckin retarded" so that was really good to hear. I will stop being a pussy with that shit and hopefully you'll remain on my dick about it cause that helps.

I told this girl re-upping on her boob job to remember that boobs are like toilet paper. You have to make sure you get the soft stuff

@Manwhore:

Accept the fag within.

Friday 09/07

After a life-saving nap from some long long work days I head out Friday night w/Montaigne. Think i was feeling slightly antsy getting in the venue just because. I think I felt too cool for school in Brooklyn. Get in, Montaigne has a girl - she's pretty cool and every vein in my body wants to steal her from him ;) but thats his girl and there are plenty of girls in the venue. Although I absolutely now think we should start stealing girls from each other because I suffer from massive bitch dependency and there isn't a better time to do it than now.. I wing him for awhile with her fat friend. Montaigne tells me that she's down and she actually really is but I can't bring myself to banging her despite my current slump. I excuse myself and go HAVE STANDARD - ABUNDANCE.

Run into some girl with a pixie hair cut. Google that shit. I like that shit on girls for some reason. Talk to her for awhile do some uncalibrated push, # close her. Fun vibes she ends up responding to texts and calls. I've fallen off texting her actually so I got to hit it hard. I've created a spreadsheet for myself because with all that I do in life I'm just not offering enough value and persistent enough in my follow-up game .

Looks like i'm finally inspiring chicks though. I was getting flaked on 95% of the time because I was too faggy and positive. I enjoy the negativity because its absurd and ridiculously fuckin self-amusing….I also enjoy groping chicks. A lot of times I get blown out but I want that to be my new thing.

See a little hipster chick w/these obnoxious hipster 70s esque glasses on. Basically manhandle her and she's compliant. Something in me was like I should have gone for the bathroom pull or car pull on this one. Bounced her around the bar, made out with her. I really should have gone for the "BOLD" move on this one but didn't pull the trigger.

Run into this short little cute Greek chick while Montaigne's pulling. Vibe w/her and she says she's a feminist so I start telling her to make me a sandwich etc etc. I think she was intrigued but the attraction wasn't really there there. Anyways I run into some British girl who blows me the fuck off at first. Roll around the venue, it's like 3:30 I've burnt the place down to the ground but I'm not keen to skip out so I decide to force the fun and re-open stuff closer to 4 again.

Run into the British girl outside as she's talking to some dude (he end up being pretty cool) while I'm talking to her friend. As she's talking I'm screaming all types of obscenities to her and repeatedly telling her to shut up or something because of where she's from in England. Eventually dude realizes she's subtly enjoying my asshole vibe so I go into her and start running push push pull. push push pull. My shit could get sharper but it was sharp enough. Night ends w/a short make out and I realize logistics are fucked because she's w/a large group of girls so I decide to call it a night.

Saturday 09/08


Meet up with montaigne around 1, start hitting shit up. Have a headache, so i get myself a beer. Settle in and start being the LOUDEST POSITIVE DICKHEAD i can possibly be. I could still be A LOT better at being an asshole.

Roll up on a bunch of honeys say a lot of dickhead shit, attraction solved. Some girls really hate me, some girls love to hate it. I called some girl an idiot w/a big smile on my face and when she found me later, she totally blew up which I found pretty amusing. I usually start pretty uncalibrated but as the night goes on I start to become more of a intelligent dickhead.

A couple more blowouts, stupid self-amusement shit and enjoying the music and while I was doing some stupid shit I was dancing on some table. I was like "yup I want you" and go in pretty hard and aggressive, run a lot of active push and pull and her friends drag her away from me but she sort of comes back. I keep being an asshole to her so she's like you're a dickhead which to me is now a compliment. I say something too edgy for her so she back turns me and joins her friends once again. I realize I took it too far so i grab her from behind and go "i love you". She goes you don't even know me and I start laughing and go 'just kidding". Roll her over to the bar. We get water together and I start to embrace her from behind and start making out w/her. She seems sort of uncomfortable w/this and perhaps her sexuality and says she has to go back to her friends.

I roll nearby her table and one of her friends is like "make sure she stays w/you tonight" as I think my girl was thinking about leaving or some dumb shit like that. I don't want to be pussy-whupped so i # close her and she seems pretty invested.

Roll around, flirt w/other girls, but i've got that gravity towards the Aussie chick aka i'm pussy whipped.. she was really cute and done-up mann. Like montaigne is flirting w/this other british chick and i'm talking to her friend but I'm like yo aussie chick is just so much more finer and we've got good vibes - so i make the choice to STICK IN.

Go back in and she's acting all stupid and shit eventually goes to the bathroom so I get bored and start flinging some girl in the air for self-amusement purposes. God I was whipped! I saw Aussie girl in awe looking at me throwing up the other girl and I drop the girl i was dancing with and go back like a faggot to Australian girl. Ride it out till the end.

Get on the street, its 4am and I realized that this was where I had to just BOSS her around to the pull instead of being all cool and chill and shit. Like I was massively weak at this moment, and in the coming FRs that I'll write, this is definitely my BIG STICKING POINT. COMMANDING THE SET RIGHT BEFORE THE PULL. It's like I sort of crumble /freeze out/ become all indecisive and shit. Definitely a mental block and I'm going to start doing visualizations again to re-cement this reality. I realize the friend that originally vouched for me end up choosing some other guy who was completely faggy - o god.

God I lost the pull that night because i wanted to rub my boner on that ass sooo badly. She was damn fine yo. I was like battling 2 other dudes for her at the end of the night. That shit's annoying and something I real need to start understanding is how to AMOG w/o coming across needy. I definitely spiked her emotions the most as I was the bigger asshole but I think I lost it from being too unclear in my intent at times despite being more grabby. Also as the interaction prolonged I became less asshole-ish which from my POV I should have kept it the fuck up which is why she was so attracted to me in the first place. It's like I got all crushy on her and wasn't willing to walk away. Still trying to work on this - once me and a girl walk away just having the sheer ability to walk away and start anew.

@Manwhore:

Wednesday 09/12

I enjoy nights like this. I was tired as fuck as I was just getting used to getting used to having school right AFTER work. So by the time I got home, meditated, did some productive "ME TIME" shit for an hour I was beyond drained. Pick up Montaigne we head out and meet up w/Buddahgames and Alex123.

Roll up and I'm sort of hooking shit but I'm not present at all. Just totally lost and out of it. One of those nights where sleeping just seems so much more of a viable and attractive option than getting laid. I was doing some uncalibrated push on some Asian girl and we were sort of playing around with it but then Alex123 came in sort of messed me up which was no big deal.

Dick around for 2 hours, while trying to "promote" which is something I've started to do little by little to do to fulfill a little long-term plan that i have heheh. I got into some club, it was fuckin slamming, fuckin slamming. Fucked around w/this hot chick but I didn't want to stay too long in the venue for "professional reasons".

Roll outside and some girl with a bike and her bf are standing outside and chilling. Start talking shit, I ask to borrow her bike and then start chasing girls down the street with the bike like an idiot. This of course gets me into a very good mood and all is good in the hood. Me and Montainge head over cross-town.

Get there, I'm being stupid and almost dancing monkeyish while being an asshole. I'm talking shit to the bouncer and he's a complete chode and butthurt because I was like "wassup mothafuckaaaaa". You get the vibe - just making a complete fool of myself. I roll up on a bunch of girls, end up isolating a girl who happens to be friends with the girl that Montaigne was fuckin with. I don't escalate for some dumb reason (i think I didn't do so because I didn't want to fuck Montaigne up but I without a doubt should of. who cares?)

Roll up on this cute ginger Irish girl. She was cute. Asshole vibes, eventually I go over and re-open her w/her friends and she's liking it but her friends are giving me a "rough time". I'm just being really stupid at this point so I start lecturing the mother hen of the group - who was giving me a ton of shit - about being in a lower state of consciousness and tell her to start meditating. It was really fuckin unfocused and stupid but it was hilarious. I get some rose and start being retarded and creepily touching girls with it but it's coming from the right place so it's fuckin funny.

Montaigne reminds me it's time to leave as it's 3:30 and because I was having fun I definitely didn't want to leave and was tired but I was thinking about how many brain farts I have when I'm tired while talking and didn't want to give a bad presentation which was actually a BIG DEAL because the group I was presenting to included the president of where I work.

Thursday 09/13

I'm chatting w my homeboy Adi and Manwhore and don't get out till really late like 2:30am.

Sort of a blessing disguise. I run into my cousin's best friend from London like MAD randomly in Brooklyn. It was so random so I sort of freak out on purpose and am louder than I need to be. LOUD = SEXWORTHY.. chuch. We start vibing and out of the corner I see some girl I actually really like.

Run into some girl I'm absolutely in love with. Like top of the list if I did the whole open relationship thing which I think I have to remind for the both out us. Definitely a keeper - Long story short this girl really liked me (http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200089?page=2#comment-795767) and due to some self-sabotaging behaviors I kind of fucked it up last year.. I mean for fuck sake she came over, went to the grocery store with me and cooked for me sometime last year. Fashionable, 22, and GASP! black. heheheh. It doesn't hurt that where from the same country so we have crazy crazy rapport.

We chill out, I bounce her around the venue, get us drinks and hang out till last call for alcohol.. Throw in some light asshole shit, am genuine as fuck (girl I regret being a dick to you). I'm probably way more lovey-dovey than I need to be, but she seems to be keen eventually to meet up and we've been texting and calling since Thursday. Probably will get her out eventually and shoot her nice little stupid self-amusing texts every couple of days to set the tone as she did mention that she thought I wanted to be in a relationship w/her where on the outside I was like "no no no" but on the inside I was like "Fuck! came across a bit faggy probably and actually should have kept her on toes with chilling w/my cousin's best friend instead of her".

@Katalyst:

Friday 09/14

Had a lot of fun tonight, absolutely should have pulled tonight, and learned one big lesson: NEED BE - BE MORE SELFISH AND "UNCONSIDERATE".

Head out, feeling shameless as fuck - go into some random grocery store and start singing Boyz II men at the top of my lungs. Feeling really fuckin good after being tired.

Decide I'm going to make amends to the promotion group I work for after struggling wednesday night.

Manage to grab shitloads of hot girls into the venue that they're at - make good with the promotion group and the doormen at the venue and to be honest all i care about is "door equity". I already pull girls off the street for Montaigne and Buddah so doing it for the promotion group isn't going to be too hard. The goal is by next May to just be able to walk into 10 A-grade Manhattan venues by myself and have them go yup - he's good people or for venues that charge "he promotes here" and just game the venue. I used to DJ at a couple of venues in Manhattan about 2 years ago and know a bunch of random DJs from it so worst case scenario I should just start hitting them up and using them to get into venues. There's this girl that I use to DJ with regularly and now she's doing gigs in Atlantic City and hotspots for Rev Run but I should just have her vouch for me wherever I go. whatever. Totally manageable. It's all stupid superficial bullshit anyway.

I meet up with Buddah while I'm doing the side promotion thing, then split off. 2 girls can't get into the venue I'm "promoting" because of fake ID so I call up Buddah so he can join me at the club they don't charge cover at. I call this dickhead billions of times and wait for him for a whopping 45 mins w/the 2 hotties -who eventually storm off after 10 minutes of me calling him and time wasting - but also while also gaming groups of girls AND managing to get into fights with random black dudes on the corner who are trying to AMOG me and absolutely verbally demolish them. This was retarded of me to do because at the end of the day yes - i want to wing w/my friends but that's not the overall goal for the night and at the end of the day i shouldn't be overdoing the "team player" thing.

Finally Buddah has 3 girls, we get in. A part of me wants to go back to the other venue but I'm having so much fun that I decide to hang out at the venue. End up having a BLAST.

Run into some short chick, 6 sort of thick but really cute. Start being an asshole, get the "who are you" questions. Pin her against the wall, start kissing all over her but she's sort of overwhelmed and runs off. Bounce around, and run into some fuckin fine ass French and Italian cutie. Pull her out of her mixed set and isolate her. She was fineee. Definitely a 8.5 at the least. I don't even remember what I was saying as I was massively present but it was dickhead times all over. Her gay friend goes "Alliee we have to go smoke" at this point she wants me to join her but I'm having fun on the dance floor so I decline and game other girls. Funny how being in the zone puts you automatically in abundance.

Roll around, I'm being fuckin dumb but my eyes are wide and I'm alert and I'm walking up to girls with the belief that we're going to go home and fuck. How or why? Manwhore told me point blank that's really the only reason that I'm not getting laid. I don't have the arrogance nor the belief.so tonight I gave myself the belief and I haven't been this in the zone in awhile.

Yank some cutie with big boobies chilling w/her friends. Bust on her next to her little fashionable Asian friend. Bounce them around, then to the dance floor. Her friends LEAVE us two together. I drag her into the corner and start making out with her. She's super invested and all over to me. I'm doing "fratstar gropage" that Manwhore taught me and this girl is COMPLETELY invested and compliant.. I realize she's cooked and down for the pull. I tell her we're going to leave soon and she nods in silent agreement.

But what do I do next instead of yanking her out the club at the very least? It's absolutely fuckin killing me to type this….I tell her to go back to her friends and tell them "that we're going to an after party". Which was really fuckin stupid considering she was 22 and emotionally cooked right then and there. I was thinking bathroom pull but I was too scared to do that shit. Obviously she doesn't come back because her friends have engaged the logical side of her brain. This is made more evident that I was a pussy when she and her friend panic that the 3rd girl in the group is nowhere to be found (she got pulled). I leaned over and bit my balls which hurt but wtf was i thinking.

Definitely some mental self-sabotaging going on here. Definitely. Need to get back on my inner game stuff HARD like every night before i go to sleep and focus. I'm running into situations like this about once a week. Losing that clarity of thought and dominance right around when shits supposed to get down. These chicks are really liking me too.

Not really going to sweat it - despite me not remembering much about the girl i was supposed to pull - I called her and charmed the shit out of her for 30 mins (way too long but i enjoy talking about myself) and made tentative plans for later in the week so I'm just going to be level-headed and shoot in and out of her life every couple of days to keep things sort of playful and sweet.

Do some more approaches, run into thick cutie from before and some other girls but nothing substantive. Overall everything was really good, just the one glaring negative was not pulling the girl and me just overdoing the jerk thing to the fine-ass French girl instead of being real and at the very least chasing her just a bit.

Saturday 09/15

Was totally out of it tonight.

I got a boner, so the night was somewhat productive but I was just lacking belief and not present at all . Doing things at the wrong times, being an asshole to 6s (they can't handle or process it), long story short, was just so out of it, isolating hotties who were gaming me but still stifled. Just a comedy of errors to say the least. end of the night, some drunk fatty accidentally spilled a drink all over my shirt, was completely fuckin soaked in vodka cranberry. Lol one of those nights.

I managed to drag a fine married Indian chick into the corner and start making out w/her. Upstanding morals for the win. Married girls will get gamed from now on. if i fuck, we all gon fuck She had a big ass diamond ring too. She really really liked me and to be honest I wish I would have been on my positive asshole shit. "girl you're just all over me because you're stuck in an arranged marriage".

I was with this other RSD dude who kept pushing it which was really good stuff to see and had me gaming way past 4. I was hungry and not into it but he really pushed it to the curb. Wonder if he pushes it this hard every night but it was good stuff to see.

LOL o mann just saying that would have gotten me out of my head so quickly. Holy shit.
__________________

@Katalyst:

The plan is to update this every night and then do some essential Manwhore inner game shit - which is what I NEEEED at the moment for sure.

Wednesday 09/19/2012
Today was an interesting day. Like really.

Daytime

Wake up around 8:30, wait for my bitch of a roommate to get out the shower for like 15 minutes while i have to piss so badly. She irritates the shit out of me, but I love her because she has made me really get a glimpse into the AVERAGE cute chicks life - complete chodette, no motivation. fucked up sense of entitlement.

Anyways we have a little argument and it sort of gets under my skin.

Anyways, I have massive approach anxiety on the subway in the morning. Like I'm very inconsistent with this area (subway game) and this currently scares the shit out of me as much as a bathroom pull does. I've gone Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday morning without approaching on the subway in the morning and it sort of bothers me because my ego is still there. I don't want to fail or succeed gloriously and that bothers me. And i see motherfuckin stunners in the morning as well too which fuckin kills me. After work, it's not as big of a problem as I'm pretty unstifled - although sometimes i punk out, but I want to strengthen that "jump straight right into the cold side of the pool instead of looking at the water" sort of muscle. Like really - this sticking point means a lot to me. When I'm on it, i can approach whenever i want in the morning, but it's just too inconsistent for my liking..

At lunch, I approached this chick, told her how fuckin cute she was and didn't say anything after that. She was dying to talk to me - showing me all kinds of signals but the gay ego of mine was still there.

After work, I have web dev class for 3 hours. On the way back home, i let loose and start approaching. Approach about 3 chicks. The third chick I approach was probably the best approach I've ever done on a subway. I see some girl sitting in the middle of the car. She's looking at me. I walk up to her really calmly and go "you can't look at me like that and not say anything". She smiles, offers her name. I fluff a bit and then tell her "i feel like i'm your daddy hovering over you" and sit down. More fluff and we're instantly talking shit about hipsters and chodes on the train. Great vibe - she tries to give me a shit test or two i dismiss. She gets off a stop before mine. I've lost a lot of girls like this so I plan to get off with her and wait 10 or so minutes to catch the next train. As we're getting off she's like a friend is waiting for me so please get back on.. I'm actually playing it cool as fuck and she rushes and gives me her # and literally blocks the subway door from closing 3 times to finish giving it to me. The last 4 digits i hope i got correctly with my bad memory. Lol the third time she's screaming "CALL ME" and almost gets stuck and even when the door closes she's got signaling call me - looking like an absolute psycho. . It was pretty epic. Holy shit i'm the fuckin prize.

Night Time

I'm mad about some dumb shit (i thought some package of mine got stolen when it didn't - my neighbor has it :) and was mad about little petty shit. Mad that I had to wait for Buddahgames, mad about the time my shirt got stolen from the dry cleaners. I was thinking some dark shit about the dry cleaners. It was weird.

Anyway, I fuckin start laughing my ass of when I see Buddahgames in some new pimp threads. Mofo looks really fuckin good and I'm going to force him to always dress like this so he makes our life easier when we go to top-tier venues. He's got two chicks with him but I think he pushed it too hard for them to follow us cross-town.

We roll into the venue, two dudes, no girls because we're part of YOLO crew. lol. We start being stupid, Buddah runs off, i'm on the dance floor enjoying the DJ who is absolutely fuckin killing it. Like running to the dance floor from 50 yards away killing it. I'm dancing by myself for 10 minutes, pretty much empty dance floor just really in the zone dancing, genuinely genuinely enjoying myself with chicks trying to figure out what kind of weird dance moves I'm doing.

I pull some girl in - start dancing face to face, pull her in real close, she's already really hooked and I'm more concerned with how I'm dancing than her. She runs off to her friend. I pull some other girl in, start taunting her, then the first girl I start dancing with. She's just exuding sexuality from her pores. I dance with her a little bit more, than drag her into a dark corner, slam her against the wall, make out with her. Do a little PUSH on her. Re-start making out and she's really kissing me while i do some fratstar gropage and she's just so compliant. Not to make the same mistake I made last Friday, i immediately head for the bathrooms with her. We pass Buddah and security guard sort of sees me so I drop her hand and sort of signal for her to come a little later. She joins me, but before she gets in security guard is looking all around the bathroom and shit. FUCK. i see her run into a stall and she locks her stall. Security guard leaves, bathroom attendant is cleaning a stall. I knock on her stall but i can her on the phone with her friend. security guard comes once again. Now i'm drying my hands. I should have waited for her to come out and have us leave the bathroom again. Yea that's where i made the mistake logistically.

I see her again - she's way less compliant and kisses one of her friends on the cheek. Bounce around, flirt and talk shit with more girls - see her with some other guy and go up to her and tell her to come "meet Jon". she gives me a subtle shit-test which i think i failed. I should have just agreed with it and kept it moving. Today was a positive though because I felt no emotional gravity towards her. She was a 7 but i felt no emotional butt-hurt "where are you" sort of pull that i usually feel. So today was a breakthrough as far as that was concerned. I'm getting icier!

Flirt with more girls, more girls. Meet these 2 cute married chicks. Didn't know they were married at first. Start talking a lot of shit and pushing them away while being really honest about married vs. single life. I bounce them over to the dance floor, than pawn them to another club to use them as "door equity" to get into the club these other promoters are at to make them happy.


The night ends with me pointlessly dancing, approaching, and doing stupid shit. I think i feel good now because I'm on my purpose (web dev school). Ok it's 5am. fuck. kombucha in the am.

Damn I like this thread title way better.

@Manwhore:
Wayy better

@thug4life:

Would love critique on that 2 set I was in when you rolled up on me outside the venue.

I had met them inside on the dancefloor and the european one just kept saying, "You're too physical" but then like wouldn't leave and shit so I just kept being physical (All I was doing was putting my arm around her and pulling her in- I wasn't groping or anything)

Ended up getting them outside and then the rest you know cuase you were there... when you say I 'Pushed it too far"- what does that mean?

Also- you were SICK last night dude... I felt kinda off but you were tearin it up... If I'm in that kinda mood where I'm being way too logical- fucking tell me and have me start doin rediculous asshole shit. I wasn't in my head but I was in that "too cool for school" mode.

I saw that one girl who you IMMEDIATELY got super physical on the second we walked into the venue we drove to together... I loved how you got so playfully physical so fast.. I was like- holy shit... I need to step up.

It's weird- I actually think that venue is prob my least favorite venue in the city lmfao! Idk if it's becuase I smell but the girls there ALWAYS act weird to me

You just seemed like you wanted it too much. Like almost over-selling the fact that we were heading cross-town. It's a Wednesday night we're they're most awesome option - all you need to do was relax and we were good money.

I'm suprised you said you were being logical. When we were acting like assholes to those two girls and the two chef dudes, I thought you were in a good state of mind already. I think me mooning them got me into the right state of mind. I thought you were already there. No worries. Tonight we will have a shit load of fun.

Thursday 09/20/2012

Let me keep this motherfucker short. I have to head out in a bit.

It was a total waste of a day to be honest. Had 3 beers and got drunk. No productivity. I have an extensive productivity list that I have to do every night after work - (coding, meditate, study text game, do mw drills, lumosity, cardio, 6 hours of sleep, 30 mins of reading, take vitamins, clean room, going out). On a good night I accomplish about 6 -8 of these things. A minimal night i can only fit 3 of these activities. Yesterday I did absolutely nothing. Ok so maybe i went out but it wasn't going out.

Where i work we had a big post-awards party.

Roll in there w/co-workers. They're there talking about their usual, boring dumb nonsense and how "crazy" I am. I'm li. A lot of hot chicks work at my job, a good handful that if i rolled with them we could easily get into the best clubs in the city. extremely attractive and stylish chicks with a solid career. I have yet to really hit on them because I do value money over a handful of chicks.

Granted, I was destined to flirt. At least when i was sober - the people in my department (extreme introverts who were looking to see what I was going to do) because they've seen me approach strangers and me being me I always have a smart comment to remark on when the subject of dating comes up and my best friend at my job is also known as a "ladies man". They also know I hate drinking. So at least 10 people came up to me wanting to taste my Shirley Temple. I'm like yo go away. Eventually I succumb to the peer pressure and get a Corona. One leads to another, leads to another.

Hate it. Absolutely hate it. It always makes me really sad.

I did roll up on this one girl sort of randomly while i was sober. My intention wasn't even to approach or flirt. She was cute, the asshole in me came out, i get her #. She ends up flaking but whatever.

Eventually I get drunk. Hours roll by at the party, at least 3 or 4 chicks at my job are trying to talk to me but I'm so stifled. I'm like dead/paralyzed. Pure creepy. We went to another bar after open bar was closed, some cutie was eyeing me I had approach anxiety. Could not move. Shit was bad.

Wake up this morning, depressed as a motherfucker. Shit was gloomy as fuck. My head was hurting literally all day. A green juice and Kombucha couldn't help my mood or brain. Although I see myself as a high-functioning idiot, I'm starting to realize I'm not that dumb. When I'm drunk, i'm DUMB.

The last time I got drunk, I think I was literally on the verge of tears about the direction my life was headed in. I don't know how people get happy when they're drunk. That shit is weird to me.

I was really pissed that I succumbed to the pressure. Unfocused chode!!!

@Katalyst:

Friday 09/22

Woke up in the morning. massive headache all fuckin day. I don't think i was fully sober before I went to sleep. I actually had a headache the whole day and was fuckin out of it. Wow you lose the clear-thinkng state of mind/the ability to think and you realize that you take that presence for granted.

Props to me, did an approach on the subway in the morning. Finally did one after not doing so all week. I was stifled as fuck for some reason.

Head out in Brooklyn w/Montaigne. Tonight was the night of re-engaging girls I'm trying to close via follow--up game...Roll up on some chicks. Did a lot of PUSH tonight. Came to realize no need to be an asshole and all hardcore if the chicks are 7s. Its like really intimidating for them and they really get butt-hurt over it. I wasn't able to recover in a lot of sets from the asshole vibe. No biggie, i'll recalibrate. The emphasis with them is lead lead lead and then

Run into some girl I've been trying to get out who came over since I met last Thursday and the girl came over to my place and cooked for me last year but I didn't fuck. She's resisting all physical escalation from me although she's very clearly into me. The move should have been for me to play it really cool and chill and mellowed out. Instead I ran around and did some jealousy plotline bs which sort of knocked her off her perch but it wasn't solid. One of those girls that needs time. Next time a girl is resisting physical escalation, tone things down, stick around, be really chill and visualize her naked. Done.

Head to another bar w/Montaigne around 3am. Start hitting it up, hooking and blowing out sets left and right. I'm chatting up some British girl and I see a girl I ran some really good asshole game on. She runs into me and is trying to give me a tough time at first and recalling everything I said to her the first time I met her about 3 weeks ago. Damn negative emotions for the win. She's a bit tipsy and saying how she didn't even know how to respond to my texts because I was too rough with her. I claw her in, and she absolutely fuckin melts in my arms "I miss you boo". Then she goes yo "don't be touching me, you're so grabby". I lay back and we're both cheesing at each other. true love lol. But then she's like "yo i'm here with my boy". wtf. i'm like whatever but she's serious.

She goes outside because she doesn't want to be seen by the other guy. So we're in front of the bar and we're arguing about nonsense, and I'm trying to drag her away but she won't let me touch her as she keeps mentioning the other guy. Ok whatever. She starts acting all crazy and shaking her butt in front of everybody taunting me "o you want this white girl now, why don't you go back to that other white girl you was hugging up on". Everyone's laughing, i'm grinning - this girl is a fuckin psycho. For fuck sake the first time we met, she kept screaming rape when I was trying to pull her to try to be funny. I of course love this.

Go back in. I calm her down. Kiss her on her forehead, kiss her on her lips, she's non-compliant. She likes me but something is missing. She goes back to her boy. I run around, hit up other sets but I feel that emotional gravity/that pull towards her. I'm talking to other girls and they want me to like them but I'm not giving one fuck about them because I like crazy girl.

End of the night, I thought she left, me and montaigne are outside doing street sets and i see her hugging up on her boy. Dude's a chump, me and montaigne laugh. I call her name while flirting with other girls. I'm still sort of like damn "i really want this girl but she's hugging up on another guy". Her RAS is on me from time to time but she's firmly in the dude's grasp. Dude walks around the corner with her. Fuck. I hate this showdown bs - I've always lost the girl. this will change soon.

Flirt with more girls and 10 minutes later, crazy girl and guy come back and he kicks a random beer can at me although I've played it super cool around him. Montaigne and I laugh, I stay unreactive. Wtf they came back. I'm just macking on this other girl,
eying her from time to time. Eventually she leaves with the dude, and I don't re-approach. I'm wondering what I should do in these 2 guys/1 random girl scenario. This has happened to me about 4 times in the past 2 months. Other dude has bested me every single time.

More flirting, i tape Montaigne for about 5 minutes while he's talking to some girl, we head back home. On the way back he lets me know that I seemed ridiculously nervous tonight. I couldn't agree more. Unrelaxed and pressure getting to me even though i meditated. I miss that nice calm energy.

P.S. I talked to crazy girl for 30 minutes tonight on the phone tonight. I realized I needed to inject her with some positivity, but I should have still kept it short like 10 minutes - and then gone back to doing coding work. She kept mentioning "fuck we have chemistry - you're so easy to talk to" but she wouldn't agree to a meetup "this week really sucks for me" and mentioned that dude who I just laughed off as a faggot. I ended the convo on a slight negative tone to keep interest high but we shall see - i want to get this girl out - she's absolutely ridiculously entertaining to be around and this little fucked up push-pull dynamic we have going on.

Saturday 09/23

Meet up w/Montaigne. Crazy long day, with class and trying to do all this extra shit. Don't get out till 1:30. Tonight was a step forward as I was more of a blatant self-entitled asshole. I'm really trying to cement all these "I'm the buyer' type behaviors so if I see a hotter girl even when I'm with an average girl that I'm not really attracted to that doesn't make my dong hard, I'm instantly ditching her for another girl. Or I'm doing stuff like walking hand in hand w/girls and opening other girls with them.

Not getting laid for 3 months, the stakes are fuckin higher, and I'm dealing with my potential butt-hurtness by being a better asshole. Highlights of the night included me lifting this girl off the ground, sitting on her, picking her back up, having her been completely fried and then having her brother lose it.

The asshole was more calibrated tonight for sure. Lots of sets, it worked a little bit better. Montaigne pulls, I'm chilling still hitting shit up. Leave the venue, on the way there, run into these 3 girls on the street around 3:15, pump their state, one of them really loves me and I walk them a couple of blocks to another venue. Walking arm in arm with this cute Asian girl who keeps saying all this "damn you have your way with all the ladies don't you". Ok at this point I just have to be the prize. Me and her get in, her 2 other friends poof for the moment. Get in the venue, chill out for a bit but then her friends start calling so she's preoccupied with managing logistics.

Get blown out a bunch of sets, then run into this little short cutie. Go extra hard in on her, re-open her again, kiss her for a bit, taunt her, she runs back to her friends. More sets, blowouts, short cutie is the only girl that hooks. Run into her, she's like "damn your persistent". Drag her to another part of the bar, start making out with her, but no fratstar gropage. Ok she's not there yet.

After 10 minutes of talking peppered with making out here and there, she runs back to her friends. No biggie. I start talking to other girls and someone spits in the back off my head. wtf. keep gaming some random girl. night ends kind of meh. Go outside in the street, short cutie is with her 5 other friends (mixed set). Her eyes are kind of glassy and she's like "please leave, my boyfriend is right here". o shit, he must have been the one that spit on me.

O well.

@Katalyst:

Thursday 09/27

I took off my day job on Thursday and Friday. My intention was to take a break from everything to learn text game. I spent 2 hours TOPS on friday to work on it. I just mainly slept all day. Was tired. Me not taking action, got me all weird and depressed about shit. Thought about how much Wednesday night "sucked" even though I took massive amounts of action. I actually was getting the "fuck this whole game shit, let me just bury myself in coding stuff and hone that hustle muscle I used to have" sort of thoughts. Looked at my phone book - nothing really vibrant - was like this fuckin sucks. I really was thinking "fuck this - let me take a break from this shit". I'll just start new and fresh in October.

But before i went out, i read my journal from a year ago. I never read my journal but I'm going to do it. Then the narcissist within kicked in and I dressed up and went out solo to the best club in the city.

I get there around 1am. Wait in line for 20 minutes, doorman is like nah - its really not going to happen. Just walk to the next club, fake the fun and get in. This club is kind of crammed in terms of layout but no complaints. Takes me about 10 minutes to get my first approach in, hot Sicilian girl w/a ridiculous ass standing next to her 2 gay friends. just execute the program, run some playful push-pull, flirt more, then i roll out and start flirting with other girls in front of her. She goes into her head and actually eventually leaves soon after. I think it was the de-validation. i think its weird that she does this. Hop around, more girls, full buyer mode.

Eventually i get bored or have a state crash can't remember so i go out into the smoking section, regain composure, and approach this girl pretty loudly. Her friends love me, i end up getting invited into the vip section upstairs, awesome times. The girl is clearly into me but i'm not present, not there so i just prematurely ejaculate. I should have stood there and have been comfortable with my silence.

It's 3:15, stuff's starting to wind down and i meet this older british chick with a fuckin tight ass body. start dancing w/her, telling her how much I love England etc. Start making out and she runs over to her friend a couple of meters away. Club is emptying out, i go up to the table she's sitting and she wants me to talk to her friend instead who's not as good looking. I hang out with them for awhile and just follow them when they're saying they're leaving. I suggest pizza and she's like "nah go off then" and jumps into a cab with her friend.

After watching Julien's video I should have been SHAMELESS. e.g. "Yo we're going to an after party" - drive them all the way to Brooklyn, walk them inside and from there figure things out. if they don't want to come in let em bounce to the ounce.

All in all, i was happy that i was able to overcome moody bullshit.


Friday 09/28

Once again, those weird erratic mood swings coming into play. "Fuck pickup, i just want a normal life, just want a normal life, fuck this bullshit, mad inner resistance". Then after some cardio a couple of hours later, i feel really fuckin good. weirdness.

I'm listening to Tolle on the drive over and I'm laughing my ass off like just straight up delirious and shit - couldn't even focus while listening.

Walk around, I start singing and i beam good emotions in these 2 girls in black skirts. I influence them to come to the club i'm going to. Doorman rolls his eyes as usual from always bringing others in and to top it off I have to tell one of the girls to shut the fuck up because she's trying to argue her way in with her a copy of her passport on paper. I need to display more dominance around certain girls. full retard sometimes.

Meet up w/Montaigne - this mofo is always mad punctual - getting into the club at 11pm on the dot and shit. i wish i could be like that. We bounce them over to the dance floor after awhile, my girl is soft and emotionally delicate as i come to find out. I think subconsciously i knew this so i let her go.

Walk around, find some little cuties in a mixed set, and instantly blow out the chodes and isolate. I grab the girls # after 2 minutes and i mention this because now I'm going to go back to fundamentals like grabbing girls # after 2 minutes and doing shiploads of mixed sets now. Really going to make sure my shit is tight by the end of the year.

More stupidity, i really actually love this club. Love the music, love the environment, love the girls that come. Really like it - even more than some of the top top tier clubs in the city. i don't want to get fatigued by it so ill start to go like three times a month instead of going like two to three times a week. quality club though.

Run up on some french girl w/a gay dude. Lead her around the club, the gay dude is a complete tag-along and just follows us everywhere. I did a really good job of leading because i just acknowledged him while really focusing on the girl and being cool with him being a tag-along which in actuality really frustrated the girl even though they were friends. i sort of blew my load over text of course a little later as i wanted a date tonight instead of during the week but i should be confident in how awesome i am and get her out eventually.

I bounce around, I'm feeling really good tonight, i'm doing stupid self-amusing dancing sprinkled with aggressive sexuality. start making out with some tall french girl. i was being really stupid.

I go back and forth with the two girls w/ black dresses and when one of them tells me to fuck off - I start to get all butthurt and shit. I bounce around, and re-approach once again. Some other dude comes up while i'm talking to my girl and starts macking on her. She withdraws validation from me and gives it to the guy. Instead of me being vulnerable, i sort of sulk off. I really wish i went back in and tried one last final time to pull her in and supply her w/good emotions. But i was emotionally weak so she went home with dry cunt and i went home with dry cock.

This is one of those last hurdles for me to be honest making myself emotionally vulnerable. making that "i don't want to do it now" muscle fuckin strong as fuck.

I eventually recover after 2 to 3 minutes of being butthurt. Walk up to some other girl, start flirting and start making out with her. I tried to bounce her somewhere else but she said no. if i had played my cards right, i should have bounced her first and then made out with her instead of making out w/her in front of her friends. I was still butt-hurt so i just wanted the immediate validation to be honest.

Nothing pans out, go home.


Saturday 09/29

Awesome night.

Was unfocused for school on Thursday and Friday, and didn't finish my homework, so i woke up after 3 hours of sleep the night before and finished my homework before class. Watch some soccer, and i don't wake up till 11. Buddah sends me a text letting me know that he's at one of the most exclusive, luxury bars in Manhattan. He's got the hookup so I roll thru in some fresh player threads.

Big PROPS to buddah for the hookup and getting me into the party. love how we hook each other up and it's such a fuckin good look what this place is.

Get to the terrace where buddah's friend is having a party and i look around. Lol all i see is the 1%. some of these mofos fuckin look like they act and come from old money in this bitch.

My fucked up RAS goes to the one hipster/artsy chick in the room who's standing next to the DJ. Start gaming her, I'm just being chill and beaming her with shit. There's really no agenda behind what i'm doing and she really likes that. Just a mental note. No agenda. Pure buyer mode shit.

Around 1:45 I bounce from the rooftop to the bar down stairs, remember coming there 2 years ago w/my homie Adi when we working on a little side experiment and me being in awe like "holy fuck EVERY girl here is fuckin HAWTTTTT" I wait in line for 15 minutes eventually talk my way in.

Finally get in around 2, see buddahgames macking it up. Walk in, first approach - cute ass Latina girl sitting down - hand of god - she bounces right up. We start dancing. Really minimal verbals. 10 minutes later make out. 10 minutes after that, i bounce her to a more secluded part of the club so i can start to do some fratstar gropage. After multiple rejections, start doing all types of things to get her cooked. Finally i get down there. Start finger-banging. Get her wet and hot. Time to fuck!

I grab her and tell the doorman we'll be right back and head straight for the bathroom. In the lobby, she freezes up and is like "O SHIT! My friends are in the lobby". I tell her damn it - come to the bathroom in 2 minutes. Walk to the bathroom and realize she's not going to come with all her friends in the lobby - too much social pressure. Bathroom pull wouldn't have worked anyway. Her friends are in the lobby, they saw us together AND the line in the bathroom is long and fuckin security is around managing the line. o Katalyst. I'm undeterred. Walk back into the club. Wash rinse repeat. She said she had to go w/friends so i knew i had to operate FAST. drag her out of the hotel, manage to get her to cross the street. she's confused by the swiftness of everything i just start talking. we're like 15 yards away from my car - she's like no no no i have to go back with firm resistance now.

I don't chase again. I should have played it smart and gotten her # and maybe run some solid game on her via text if anything.

This honestly was a breakthrough sort of set. She was so DTF and she was fuckin HOT. The belief is growing. If i was more shameless I could have thrown more shit at her. "girl my car is right here". or when she brought up resistance start to get "angry" and project negative energy. something like that

Crash and burn the venue to no avail. Some good stuff in there but nothing worth mentioning. Actually highlight of crash and burning the venue was while I got tired of watching a drunk Buddah and his British girl go back and forth on some retarded shit, some girl kept being all unfocused and asking me for drugs. So i lied to her and said i had shit load of drugs. I was like "yo lets go to the bathroom". I tell her to follow me to the bathroom and not to follow me too close because she'd blow our cover. Get in the bathroom and i start laughing hysterically when she realizes I've been bluffing the whole time. I get asked if i have drugs all the time so i'm going to use this to internalize this for bathroom pulls. because a druggie will do anything for the next hit.

Still watch a drunk buddah and his lil milf chick be unfocused for ever. in retrospect, i should have left after crash and burn time, but buddah kinda talked me into it. next time ill go somewhere else and do my own thing.

get downtown at 4am. i never do shit like this but tonight i really wanted to fuckin win. props to myself. get a couple of numbers and don't leave till 4:45. bringing back that motherfuckin persistence and belief back. totally.

nights like these - make me want to stay in the game for another 5 years. so much fun. it was breakthrough because this chick was just dying to get fucked. i was in set with her for 30 minutes and said VERY LITTLE. like this was the most minimal shit ever. just pure dancing, non-verbal expression, pure body language, powerful powerful stuff. My brain was so fried that when Buddah called me at 7:30 in the morning to tell me about how shit went down, I was still up reading that Mastery book lol.

@Katalyst:

Mr. "Drunk and Unfocused" got laid.... How'd that work out for you? : 0

@buddhagames:

Also- we discussed this.

What you saw as me being unfocused, was actually me purposely leaving my girl and coming back later, in order to do that frationlization shit...

I didn't, at the time, understand what the term was, but I'll tell you why I did it: I was feeling that I'd been with her ALL night and then she said something about not wanting to go home with me, so I figured, I should start to expand my options. I also wanted to chill with you and my buddies and also... me and my girl were together all night...

I wanted to give her her space.

As we discussed: Like 95% of what I was doing, in terms of the macro elements of the interaction and that shit.... was absolutely on purpose.

Also- she kept saying I was "drunk" because she wanted to rationalize to herself, why it's okay that she saw me hitting on other girls right in front of her. And why she shouldn't be hurt that I was leaving her to go talk to other people and leaving her all alone at the bar....

Also- was she cooked before I plucked her? Sure... But I also wanted to kick it with my homies and you and have a good time. So yeah, I wasn't 100% efficient but also.... by the time I plucked that little flower, dude... she was SO RETARDEDLY COOKED. So it's like, yeah I wasn't "Mr. Efficient Pooah"... but I also got to have the best of all possible worlds...

@Katalyst:

So I've somewhat been out the scene for awhile and actually took a week off from pickup as recommended to me from Manwhore. I've had some breakthroughs in my game of late and dragged myself out of a crazy crazy dry spell (lasted 4 months) after just a string of absolute bad-luck, inability to execute, and mostly a lack of self-acceptance on my part.

Quick recap of pretty much the whole month. Been an interesting month and probably one of the more interesting months I've had just in terms of coming to realize how important self-acceptance is and how this game will NOT FULFILL ME. The last part of the sentence I'm still coming to terms with because this game is absolutely exhilarating but damn just expect these bitches to always disappoint you.

Wednesday 10/03/2012

I really really pushed myself today to the point where it was just absolute absolute stupidity. I got 4 hours of sleep the night before and woke up at 6:30am to finish my homework for school. Go to my day job, have class till 9 after that - decide to go on a run for some energy and then go out around 11:30. I was so fuckin tired. Hit up a couple of spots downtown. i was dead tired and there was some party for a magazine. Having a really shitty night and then I decide to start being a proactive asshole. Couple of hooks but no vibrancy tonight. I got home around 3 and just felt like absolute DEATH. I have to admit I was pretty crazy for going out this night - 4 hours of sleep the night before and then staying up for 21 hours was silly. Shit i'll do for my purpose if i have to but not for women.

Thursday 10/04/2012

Head out to Free Tour. I'm sitting there getting pissed as fuck for feeling like shit and then to top it off all these newbs are asking all these silly hypothetical questions. I'm like damn GO TRY IT!. And to further my annoyance at feeling slightly sick - Tyler's speech is about expansion and contraction and all I can think of is how much I want to contract at the moment and go to sleep.

After Free Tour, I'm determined to head home and recover because I'm feeling like shit although all the Free Tour talks had me sort of inspired at the same time. I see a cute blond girl on the subway platform. Walk up to her starting talking to her, she loves me, I'm feeling sort of silly at the same time. # close. I didn't even really take this girl seriously until I googled her a couple of days later (she put her first and last name in my phone) and I was like O SHIT - MODEL so I started to take her a little bit more seriously ;)

I was feeling good in my body from taking action, I decide to stop by my neighborhood bar as I just love to flirt. I really do. Go up to this hot Puerto Rican girl and her friend - just fucking with them, # close, more flirting but i have to go to sleep to recover as I feel the illness coming. To be fair I always get slightly sick in September/October - must be the changing of the seasons. Next year I'll make the proper adjustments and stick to taking multi-vites everyday to make sure I don't.


Friday 10/05/2012

Get blown out by two girls on the subway on the way home from work. Then this cute Peruvian girl from my job comes up to me, we start talking and she invites me to chill w/her friends somewhere in the East Village. I'm feeling sort of sick and not really on top of my game so I'm not 100%. More about this girl later because I ended up chilling with her a couple more times this month.

Go out at night - meet up w/Montaigne. Roll around the club feeling sort of good, sort of anxious. See this chick w/frizzy hair, isolate her because she seems keen to fuck. Start making out w/her - realize it's her bday, she only has 1 friend with her in the club. Ding ding ding. I start fratstar gropage on her and she sort of freaks out because I pump her buying temperature like a motherfucker.

I roll outside, start talking to this hot Panamanian chick. Man she's fine. I slightly feel a low sense of entitlement but it builds as I realize I can handle her bitchiness. talk to her for a good half an hour and have her open up to me with some witty banter, out of the corner of my eye I see the frizzy hair girl sort of storm off into the night. Ahh unlucky.

I just remember being so fucking out of it this night.

Saturday 10/06/2012

Hit up HotSeat. To be honest, I was way less impressed with everything this time around. I remember when I first watched it - i was like DAMN these guys are fuckin crazy good (which they are) but everything they do seems highly do-able. Guess I'm "advanced" now. Durrrr.


Right afterwards I head out downtown w/Turok and i waste a good amount of time trying to get my wings into the club. What frustrates me is that half these times they get TOO distracted w/the girls they're bouncing into the club when I'm like yo in the early part of the night let's focus on getting into the venue. Afterwards we can escalate/close the girls we're getting into the club. DEFINITELY making it a rule from now on to DITCH my wings if they're not serious and focused about getting into the club because we all know how much BS these Manhattan clubs can give you if you're not on top of your game.


I'm exhausted and tired still force myself to hit. Ran into Montaigne who was always looking fresh and solid. I was hitting hitting hitting still feeling like shit. Run into this drunk chick w/a backpack. Hit her with a little 1-2 push/pull. Lead her around the club, get her comfortable with me and then we start making out. She's got the tightest shorts on that I can't fuckin loosen up so no fondling down there. We start making out. I'm having an off night but I'm feeling silly and say fuck it so I drag her upstairs trying to get her into the bathroom to go for the pull. There's other people in line so I start to freak out and get into my head. I head into a stall and i'm expecting her to follow me in but she goes into another stall.


O well. Keep going around the club, just going through the motions. Meh.

@Katalyst:

Week Off (10/08/2012 - 10/14/2012)

After HotSeat, Tyler's tells us to go do 30 straight days of approaching to internalize pickup. Last time he said that I went out for 100 straight days and ran myself into the ground pretty much. This time around I remember sitting there feeling pretty sick and going fuck that nonsense I need my rest mann.

I talked to Manwhore and I ended up taking a full week off from pickup (minimal minimal texting/no approaching - i lie - i only approached one girl). It was crazy because the whole week i would blanket my mind anytime thoughts of pickup came up but mann all i could do was think of how much I wanted to go up and step up HARD to chicks, approach, etc etc. I'm going to take breaks more often so I can recharge my batteries and get the train back onto course if I'm pushing it too Hard which I'm starting to accept now that I'm getting older and wiser and shit. Instead of running a rat race - just coming to realize that mann I'll probably be pimping it for the next 10 years so looking at things from that angle instead of always trying to rush shit like I usually do. This was my first un-intentional break from pickup since I came back into the game Summer 2011 after taking 2 years off.

I mean yo - I went back and counted all the nights I wrote FRs for - I went out 265 nights from 10/01/2011 - 10/01/2012. If i count all the days i did game from October 1, 2011 - October 1, 2012 it was probably closer to 300 ( I don't always write my shit up). IM GOING OUT 365 NIGHTS THIS YEAR.

HAHA no katalyst. absolutely not;)

If I can manage to go out something like 200 nights this year that wouldbe a god send considering all the work i have to do and how I'm always going to be on some PURPOSE > BITCHES shit this year.. but we'll see i might take a detour. but for the next 6 months i'll be more on some purpose shit considering i'm in school and getting ready for the I'M A BOSSS LIFE..

SLOW DOWN. everything Katalyst. Slow Down.

But mann once again while I took the week off I missed it all. I always go through the motions but there's something about this game that I love so much. I don't know exactly what it is. Maybe it's the exponential, phenomenal growth I've experienced. Like I came into this shit a virgin that couldn't even look chicks in the eye and used to stammer and now i have the ability to pull chicks into the bathroom. That being said, I'm still dealing with some identity crisis, and some of "old me" hasn't yet merged w/new me producing this slightly weird vibe at times around girls. They're like fuck this guy is awesome why the fuck is he trying so hard. what is he hiding. This leads me to my next post...

@Katalyst:

Some current thoughts/where my head is at

I've been reading my own FR journal of late from last year and the progress is PHENOMENAL. As I read it it's crazy how much I remember from then in terms of exactly how I felt in the moment throughout the night, where I was standing when I initially talked to the girl, exactly how I felt in the moment throughout the night, where I was standing, the girl's name. And even my thinking has changed.

I wrote this post as soon as I was done with my vacation from pickup and the healthiest way to measure progress as far as outer game is concerned is to look at current comfort zone/fears for me. A year from now I will look at this post and have gotten rid of the comfort zone. Because to me game is really all about reference experiences, there is no win or loss and the more VARIED reference experiences you have, the tighter your shit comes because you have the ability to pull off game in a multitude of situations.

The healthiest way to measure progress as far as outer game is concerned is to look at current comfort zone/fears. I have a stronger willpower muscle than most but i hate the delayed reaction time as in for instance. I know i have to do something (i.e.. approach a girl, demonstrate negative energy/etc/etc). But I don't act on it impulsively - it takes me awhile to generate the willpower. I want to be able to cut down my reaction time for sure.

Current Comfort Zone

1. Going for the bathroom pull - This is some extra shit and totally un-necessary but I have to admit I've got a mild fascination of making this shit my bread and butter kind of shit.

2. Hitting on co-workers (about to turn shameless w/this one) - This is actually a big one and one i shouldn't feel guilty about. I've realized that I've preferred cold-approach over "social circle" sort of stuff because I feel uncomfortable w/putting myself out there and being known repeatedly as the guy who struck out. I'm at the level where it really doesn't matter because I have the ability to meet any girl in the city and have her like me so who cares if ONE girl doesn't like me or I'm known as a creep. I don't know why I give a fuck about that bullshit. I think i've actually done a great job of carving this player persona. I literally read my text message persona to a room full of senior corporate execs (which included the president of my company) and my boss so yea - what do i have to fear. I am known as that HOT, STUCK UP yet quirky sort of weird guy at work so definitely I have the potential to do damage. Obviously I have to proceed with caution and I'm not going to go up to a girl and go "yo your tits are shit" but yea you get the case and point. I mean why hide who I am.

3. Still have text message anxiety - This is admittedly pretty pathetic but still somewhat of a sticking point. My text game isn't the greatest but it's still sufficiently good enough. Idk why this is the case given I meet at least 10 quality girls EVERY single day. Which reminds me I have to keep a spreadsheet of this shit because I would say for every 10 girls I meet I legitimately forget to text 2 of them or so. Also I have a text game academy membership w/Manwhore so WHAT THE FUCK am i scared for. O my god - so wasteful of me. It's ok - I've been swamped w/shit and am always busy so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

4. Navigate through people on a crowded subway to get to the girl. I've pretty big on subway game for a reason. SOCIAL PRESSURE. Most people can't deal with it and man does it shine a light on your game. Holy fuck. Once I can fully let go during the day like I do at night - mann I'll be fuckin golden. . I'm about to start recording my convos so I can hear navigate through people on a crowded subway to get to the girl. the thought of having to say excuse me, excuse me for a bunch of people still scares me. I can do this every so once in awhile but can't do it all the time. Just pure shameless behavior like full-on "yup this is who i am and yes i love myself for that". Full sociopath. This is why I love that Julien guy - that guy is fucked up but I love it I sometimes I feel the same shit.

5. Being LOUD EVERYWHERE . I'm still not loud enough because I'm scared of being exposed. This is so so critical. Making it a habit to be LOUD EVERYWHERE. JUST LOUD. Spectacular blow-outs where people laugh at me and spectacular glory where you have the whole subway car in just absolute awe asking you if you knew the chick from before.

6. Day time Make-Out/Pulls/Pushing It To The Limit . This is borderline sexual harassment but I'm there for sure. FOR SUREEEE. I can count at least 4 or 5 times where the thought came into my mind but the chode part of my brain was like - you can't do that you just met her on a fucking train!!!!!. This is so un-necessary. I've gone on insta-dates before and fuck it if I really don't have work to do or have absolute amazing chemistry - just saying fuck it - living in the moment and delaying the

7. Opening With A Make Out. Ooo...this one's good. But requires some good calibration technique as demonstrated to us by Tyler.

8. Opening Mixed Groups During the Day time - I've done this shit before but I'd like it to do it more regularly.

9. Stopping and Opening Groups of Chicks walking during the day time - my entitlement isn't there yet but I need to start doing this on the regular.

10. I am Still slightly hesitant to open a girl when she's sitting on the subway sometimes - Just a silly entitlement issue

11. Still shamelessly gaming girls who say they have a boyfriend or are married - man most chodes don't go hard like me. How do I know this? I've seen it with my own eyes. LIke really. Some girls probably say they have a boyfriend just out of comfort and dealing with the awkwardness of approaching. So once they say have a boyfriend training myself to keep talking and vibing w/o being all cold and shit and pushing it for the fun of it. I didn't come into this game to be a home-wrecker but most of these bitches just settle for the next guy around. I mean I've made out w/girls in the venue w/their boyfriend why not flirt w/girls who have boyfriends why not.

12. SHITTING ON PEOPLE WITH MY TALENT . - This is actually a really weird one for me but it's big for me. Absolutely big. I got into the game because my friends from back in the day used to disrespect me for not getting girls. Like absolutely ridicule me. hence why i've still got just a few internal issues to still deal with but now i've become afraid of putting myself out there and really shining my light on my strengths.I have a ridiculous sense of drive, purpose to me. More than most. I know i can accomplish anything I put my mind for me. That's my top affirmation/belief. For real. I honestly don't know where it comes from. It's probably innate. Everything I accomplished in life - i went out and worked for it. My day job, my skill-sets, it was ALL me. So I don't know why I hold myself back. Like a part of me legitimately feels bad about shitting on people. it's some weird shit but no mercy.

I'm 98% to 100% sure that to most people reading this - In the past 12 months: I most likely : partied more nights last year than you, pulled more girls last year than you, pulled more girls into the bathroom than you, spent more time working on myself more than you, spent a higher % of my budget to improve myself than you, got ridiculed more than you, got blown out more than you, had more heartbreak than you, dealt with more pain and frustration than you, got into hotter clubs than you, pushed myself outside my comfort zone more than you, had more reference experiences than you, had more failed pulls than you, got cockblocked more than you, pushed myself on minimal sleep more than you, dealt with more bullshit than you, went out more nights in a row than you, had more emotional progress than you, opened way more girls going to and from work on the subway than you, got more people into the club pro-bono than you, had more highs and lows than you, went out more nights sober than you, opened more mixed sets than you, dealt with more approach/escalation anxiety than you, took more day to day action than you, and summoned more willpower than you - so why do I continue to hold back and deal with bullshit and be empathetic to chodes. Fuck that noise. My whole life I've perceived myself to come from this place of lack and it's become glaringly apparent that I've got the value.

Point is - i don't like to stand out/mercilessly and shit on people with my talent. Like I really do be shitting on people at times but mann at the end of the day I put more work into life than most so they just have to fuckin deal with it. All great teams and players do this - execute the program w/no mercy. It's some really weird and bizarre empathetic shit that I have to look at it. But I've got to be 100% BOSS to fully transcend things
The reason why I just took 30 minutes to write this shit out is because I want to ALWAYS come from the buyer frame. ALWAYS. So crucial. Hitting up every chick - you can start to go - yea she'll do or hell to the no. Like sometimes I go up to chicks during the day and I think they're hot and they're not so then i just walk away. This is an important behavior to have because you have to identify with HAVING THE POWER. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. GOD DAMN THIS IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO KEY. Your dick is the prize. you have the money. you are at the cause not at the effect.

Anyways if i can expand my comfort zone, taking 2 bullet points a month and focusing and knocking them out each month on the regular in say 6 months to a year I'll be one happy wanker.

The big one for me is subway game. It's probably the hardest place to do game because you usually don't have momentum - you're usually in an analytical/logical frame of mind. So hitting up chicks all cold takes some willpower.. Really after that, what else is harder. I really can't think of anything harder. Anyways most of my subway fears make no sense. I LITERALLY have a 97% hook rate. Obviously I'm not counting it but chances are the girl is going to love more than telling me to fuck off.


I really really ignored inner game for awhile because my thoughts where my shit was so tight. But willpower and inner game are relative, but pretty much too different things. Dealing with internal emotions, becoming more hardened, etc etc. Sometimes I feel like the porsche running on a toyota engine. I've got everything right on paper, but the internal shit is fucked up a bit.

Things I PROBABLY need to do to improve .


* The need to self-accept, realize happiness comes from within and embrace inner game exercises. feels stupid to me but i should start doing them. they're good for me and good for you. i'm talking visualizations, affirmations, all kinds of drills. I hate working on game out of field, but i'm at that level where if i'm going to really really really see a growth spurt - one is literally right around the corner and bound to happen - i haven't gotten laid in 4 months. Btw i want to give a BIG BIG BIG shootout to pornhub.com and red tube.com for getting me thru these tough times. Thanks for the emotional support guys!
Quick side note:

It's funny during hotseat Tyler was talking about how banging girls wouldn't make you any happier or whatever and while he said this he calls me out like "yo you have this fuckin puzzled look" on your face. i guess it was one of those unconscious faces/gestures i made but damn its true my whole mental blueprint is all fucked up. me thinking that the next lay is going to make me feel. manwhore since day 1 of training was like your ability to game FAR FAR exceeds the ability to get laid. so its going to take some inner game work for me to figure that the GOLD the absolute GOLD lies within me.

* The need to do manwhore's drills EVERY DAY.. didn't really get time to do them every day to be honest. now that i'm done - i think i'm gonna see crazy progress soon. I want to do another month of lessons w/him eventually because that shit is really good but i haven't been the most resourceful bloke so i'm going to chill back and use the resources i have. I don't NEED any more pickup coaching to be honest. maybe sharpen up the texting a little more but what else do I need to learn to get laid? Nothing. I have all the ingredients for the recipe, just need to mix it up and put it out there.

* The need to be resourceful. For fuck sakes we live in the 1st world. I have everything at my disposal to make over a $1 million dollars in 5 years, while having an abundance of women coming in and out of my life. While those are superficial goals, the sky is the limit. I have so many resources at my disposal here in NYC I feel like I'm abusing them. I'm about to buckle down and cut a lot of fat because I feel like i've been pretty wasteful w/shit from trying to do too much so just limiting shit and just making the most of what I currently have at my disposal.

* The need to sharpen my willpower muscle. The need to sharpen my shit. I usually do shit but my willpower is delayed. the Top 1% i see just execute right on the go. I'm lazy when it comes to doing stuff. Just really sharpening my shit so I can execute RIGHT THEN AND RIGHT THERE would make my life 5-10% more effective.

* The ability to master my emotions EVERY DAY. I've dealt with way more "highs and lows" than expected this past year. I mean nothing beats my experience between middle school and high school (spent a year at a military style boarding school in Africa) but some days i don't feel like executing the program. Just dealing with this shit.

* The need to be an asshole, not by choice, but by necessity, because of building my future lifestyle, my current web dev class, and all that other shit. Just the full need to be an asshole and not have people waste my time.

At the end of the day my biggest thing going forward is going to be self-love. I am a slight narcissist but i am going to amp this shit up. I won't lie like the chicks i like the most are the ones i've run the best game on. But me at my best is some extreme shit so the chicks i like love the asshole within. Me at my best mann - I'm fuckin clinical yo. Like i'll pull the girl into a bathroom within 10 minutes clinical and have her sopping wet at sheer confusion clinical.
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