Keeping the fire going

Just be like, "Hey when are you ready to learn the art of steak. They've got really good meat specials right now lol" 

Shit I sent one before I saw that..

me: I'm at the store right now these steaks are looking prime...

that at was almost 2hrs ago,

should i I follow that up with "so when are u gona be ready to learn? They've for crazy specials right now lol

I dunno I think you'd be kicking a dead horse at this point. 

So basically she's not into it, and I should just not text her?

Or is there anything I can do to turn this around, or switch to a different  activity?

No you'd be chasing her. Hold off

Hey guys

so here's the rest of the convo up til yesterday:

me: I'm at the store right now these steaks rea looking prime...

her: Dang your on top of your meat game hahaa

me: You know it. So when we chillen?

yesterday

her: Wow ur txt just came in i need to call my company *emoji

me: Damn. Well im chillen tonight, if your around

her: I cant it my b day tomorrow so we are going out im having a b day dinner tomorrow though if u wanna go

me: Yeah sure

her: K cool r u bringing a friend or coming by urself??

me: Where u guys going

her: ***

me: Ya (my friend) is down

her: Ok sounds good

her: Can u come for sure we are doing reservations

me: Yeahh we'll be there

her: Okay its at 7 now is that cool

me: Yep, which **** is it

her: The one in *****

So my thinking on this was that my friend could wing-man me, I assume there's going to be other dudes there that she's talking to and so obviously having a friend of mine there would be cool so I'm not just sitting there while all the attention is on her.

But my friend is bailing to go to this concert in San Diego, so now I'm not sure what to do.

On one hand I think this would be an experience I will learn from. I'm sure I will encounter many experiences like this in the future where its a hot girl and a bunch of dudes vying for her attention or whatever, and how to set myself apart from the rest of them or whatever. On the other hand I don't want to set up this frame where I am "one of the guys chasing her" either....

So I'm not sure what I want to do here, if any of you guys that have been following this have any advice that would be dope.

The other thing is that my lease ends in less than a week so I have no idea when I would see this girl again if I dont go to this thing

Thanks guys

I'm such a fucking faggot. 

Spent all evening/night trying to get this chick and a bunch of money. At dinner she was talking to this other guy but I maintained. Maintained the fucking vibe all throughout the night, and finally when we were outside with all these big black dudes. I finally feel like I got over that feeling of inadequacy even tho she was giving them so much attention I just held my fucking ground. 

I finally also got her in my car after trying to repeatedly. She agreed finally. Then told me to drop her off she was really drunk. I pull up in the parking lot and we're making out, and then she gets out and keeps telling me Im not coming upstairs.

Its like my brain couldnt process what to say. Or society has just so engrained this idea of "not trying to take advantage of women" that I fell for that fucking shit. I literally could have said "I just need to go to the bathroom, thats the least u could do after I give u a ride home"

But no Im a fucking failure. I fucking hate myself right now.

You couldn't open your mouth with a bunch of black dudes around? What the fuck is wrong with you. You talk. You don't puss out. Why the fuck does a bunch of dudes stifle you? You are displaying you are inadequate. No one shuts me up dude. The president does not shut me up. I speak my mind 

No what I meant was that their presence didn't effect me. I didn't have a state dip because of them at all. I picked my girl up and took her around the corner and was making out w her before some douche securty told us we had to move, So in that regard I did fine. Like she would come over to me and kiss me infront of all those dudes. I just fucked the ending part up royally

Ok cool sounds like you made some progress. But the self-hate stuff is retarded. Doesn't do you no good and gets you no sympathy from other men. It's more boyishness. Turn that shit off. So what role did you have in the whole thing, did you ever just start going off and put everyone in spectator? Did you tease this bitch, what happened. 

It's interesting you were so petulant about making us answer your text game questions during that teleconference. Interrupted our talk to get your questions answered, but then couldn't pull the trigger and handle yourself like a man on that date. Lol 

I'm not looking for sympathy. Maybe it is retarded, but this same thing happened with the Makeup Artist at EDC, the girl who I pulled outside my Hotel at EDC, the girl in the Ocean, and now this girl who I've been working on for over 2 months now. 

I'm trying to engrain in myself how fucked up this momma's boy identity is that I keep reverting back to. Like hopefully if I just detest it enough and it causes me enough emotional pain, I will just stop reverting to those behaviors.

Anyway this was her 21st Birthday dinner, 

I was sitting at Benehanas, when she got there I planted a kiss on her neck/cheek while hugging her. Then sat next to her. The only "competition" was this asian dude who works in the music industry and kept talking about all his connections and making jokes with her. He was being more talkative than me at dinner and joking around with her and they were showing each other stuff on their phone. I kind of had this dominant vibe going on, like I didnt really care what he was doing because I know who I am. I had some rapport going on w him as well, when it came to music, festivals and the industry. My girl kept calling it a "bromance". 

The 4 of us (me, asian dude, my girl and her sister) roll to his office in beverly hills. He shows us around. Again I'm just maintaining. I'm not doing anything overtly boss or spewing out charisma or bravado. Im not in the mood and dont think it is appropraite anyhow. I feel that if I did I would have bought into some sort of frame that I am in competition with this other dude, when I really felt as if there was no contest anyway.

My girl trips and "falls on me" and grabs me to break her fall. I have minimal physicality with her but Im really just focused on being present and on being in my body. I didn't do the "cutting the cords" drill but the feeling I had in my body was akin to this

The girls say they have to get going and the asian dude apparently has work he has to do at the office, so me and the girls leave. I tease her about not being able to close the door to the balcony, and about being so "hard" I was scared for my life (they kept talking about how good at rapping they are it was pretty annoying)

Theyre plan is to go see Trey Songz perform at this venue, they need to go home to change first. While we talk on the way to my car I'm stroking her hair and rubbing her neck shoulder, she moves her hair to the other side so I can.

I get to the venue and start hitting up girls in the meantime. 

I text her

me: Are u guys heading to the upstairs club or the one below

her: Are u inside

me: Yep

her: Wth haha we are still outside

her: Theres scanners (her sister) wont be able to get in

me: Whattt

me: Use the passport

me: Did yall get in

no response

an hour later i call her

then I get a missed call from her

me: Whats good where u at

her: we couldnt get (her sister) in we are at *****

me: Where's that

her: It's on 8th

Basically from the time I got to the Trey Songz show to the time I actually see her outside this other bar 3 hours had gone by. The bouncer at this place wont let me in he says theyre closed..... so I tell her to come outside

At this point she sees me but goes up to this big black dude and starts hugging him, then she comes up to me like "Alleexxxx" smiling and leans into me. I am kind of peeved since she never told me they were going somewhere else and I spent $ to get into that trey songz shit. We kiss and when I bring this up she acts like Im the one who didnt text her back which just isnt true. Fucking annoying

Shes really drunk, and basically keeps going to this one black dude hugging him saying that they're twinning since they have the same birthday and both just turned 21. I just start taking selfies with her sister since shes taking selfies with him. Then she comes up to me like "how come u didn't take one with mee??"

Its basically just super silly and I am just maintaining for a point where I can leave with her. I tell her this im like "come home with me" shes like "noo i cant i have to get up early and spend the day with my dad"

I tell her I'll wake up at 6 and make her pancakes. Shes like I thought u were gona teach me steak. Im like not in the morning there wont be time. Anyway she likes it but keeps saying "noo" 

I talk to her sister and tell her Im going to take her home and take care of her. Shes like let me go talk to her. So theyre talking and then my girl blurts out "He just wants to fuck me" and her sister starts laughing. Im like "I didnt hear what she said but its not true" Im basically just trying to make this happen and with my girl being so drunk I know I need her sister's trust. I also text her sis so she has my #

At another point where im talking to my girl she accuses me of "just wanting to fuck her" again.

me: I never said that

her: yeah you did, when i was sober

me: no.... i didnt (i never did)

me: I just wana hang w u and make sure ur ok

She accuses me of trying to fuck her ever since I met her

she keeps telling me shes too drunk and I dont wana hang w her now, she'll throw up on me, i tell her i dont care ill hold her hair back for her while she pukes. She keeps going back and  forth between interacting with me and these black guys. when she comes to me she kisses me, leans her butt against me, and is more intimate with me than them. 

One thing i was missing is that i did not go off at any point, put everyone in spectator mode. I just wasnt feeling it, I dont know. I think I did the best I could while we were all outside at least I gave zero fucks about those other guys who were all twice my size.

At one point she says she cant go home with me im like ok. then she goes "thats okay with you??" im just like "I mean im not gona force u to go home with me" --I feel like here i might have had some sort of opening of convincing her but i dont know what it was. I think i should have insisted on the whole, "make sure ur ok" thing

Pretty much my conversation consisted of me pulling her aside or waiting for her to come to me, or talking to her sister just trying to get the fucking logistics. Which i finally succeeded in, got my car and picked her up. In the car we makeout, I bring up coming over to my spot but she insists i drop her off. she holds my hand in the car ride home. I guess I come off kinda pissed and my tonality is like a vacuum. Shes like "Im sorry can we please hangout next week? Please??" Im like "yeah."

When i pull into the complex we makeout more and move my hands up her skirt but she stops me from going all the way, I caress the tops of her breasts but she also puts her hands up there blocking me while were making out. 

Then at this point i basically revert back to being a momma's boy, permission seeking. Im like "im just gona come up and make sure youre good" or "are u sure youre good?"

Like a fucking faggot

Her sister even texted me 40 min later like "Why did you leave her like this I came home just now and shes on the bathroom floor waht happend???

Once again I reverted back to being a mommas boy and listened to her, when in reality just by being a good friend I should have told her "NO. Im coming upstairs with you. Youre very drunk. Im going to make sure youre ok, there is no discussion here. Ive been in this situation before I dont ditch my friends when theyre this drunk"

Dude that's BASIC basic "prize" game. "He's just trying to fuck me." "No you're just trying to fuck me!" Derp 

Basic basic shit dude you should know by now how to handle situations like that. Pff. So what happened is you allowed the environment to start dictating your reality, instead of feeding/maintaining your boss frame, so that by the end she threw some simple shit at you and you folded like an origami swan. 

Wow. Hopefully this is the catalyst for you starting to be a boss 

jo alex, are you getting any  ass at all right now?

Why are you chasing a girl for two month, lol? Is pretty hard not to become needy, when you want to something for such a long time and ain't getting it. it becomes worse even, when the girl is really beautiful, and worse still if you ain't getting anything else to top that.

I'd suggest that you give yourself a couple of rules at least for the time being until you have sorted some inner stuff out. How often are you going to reengage if she doesn't comply? like two text and calling once calling. Also don't meet her with friends. Don't be her fucking chauffeur etc. Always get her alone. See that she does at least half the work. .. etc. Make a deliberate of how much effort, time, you are going you are willing to invest Or better how many chances you are giving any one girl to get with you. and stick to it. This should help to make this whole dating thing more on your terms. It puts does give you some control back. This would be temporary thing until get some abundance and then you can flirt and pursue and chauffeur for as long as you care for, because its on your terrms then, anyway.

I'd also suggest to just find any girl that makes your dick heart and fuck her. You might find that sex is a lot more about chemistry and the ability to let go, than about looks. It will also help you with the neediness a lot. She just needs to be cute enough. I banged plenty of cute enough chicks. And I don't regret it one bit ;)

You mentioned some ED issues, too. Tell you I had some trouble, too in that departement. I would lose my boner when putitng a condom on then freaking out etc.. etc. but you gotta realize its no big deal. most of my anxiety was actually based warped picture of having to be some kind of super fucker (so I can control girl's souls finally, haha) bah. you boner knows what he's got to do. he'll come up soon as you can. Massage also helps tremendously. I like to have her massage me first, and than I am already super relaxed and massaging her then turns me so on. Also do the foreplay for you tease her, give her a little then play with the energy will get you rock hard.

Last but not least: best sex I always had with girls that I had massive compliance with. The more sway you have the better the sex. The more I chased a girl the worse the sex.

Best sex I ever had in my life was with a blonde cutie just travelling thorugh my city. we talked about ten minutes before she had to leave. five day later she travelled 500km to visit me. I banged her seven times in one night, only in her tiny ass, raw lol,  and I came every single time. next morning she went home never to be seen again. we chat on fb sometimes. I don't even if she had an orgasm.

Probably should be banging any girl just like that, regardless of the compliance I perceive to be having. but that's my issue ;)

Also when a girl accuses you of wanting to fuck her, don't lie. own it, then accuse of making you horny on purpose!

have you read sixty years of challenges ebook? that might be some cool source for you too. PM and I send it to you.

peace mang. hopeYou gonna get this shit handled!

Texting this girl right now. We were supposed to hang thurs but she pushed it to today

last night:

me: Just made this *fire moji* tempura chicken 

me: Mr. benehana is proud

her: OK liessss *hand perfect emoji

me: Girl u dont even know

her: U don't even kno *crying laughing emojis

today:

me: *Burger king guy pic* Got my outfit for tonight

1hr

her: Omg noooo haha *crying emojis

me: Haha yes be ready.

20min

me: I expect to see u rocking your burger queen outfit

her: Haha will do

me: Awesome. Can you swoop me up, my car is full of crap right now

1 hr.

me: Any idea when u'll be here? I'm at my bros pad do I have time to shower?

lol fuck so i dont know whats going on with her, what should I do from here?

I seeded this shit with the fact that we're going to get milkshakes in previous texts, so I dont know whats going on here

me: Any idea when u'll be here? I'm at my bros pad do I have time to shower?

Mommy! 

Yeah my natural friend put that in my phone

What are my options from here though? I know that was a gay text

Any time you're pushing a hard logistical question like that, especially with girls that aren't yet quite on your dick, you have to add a distractor. Next time be like, "alright let me know when you're comin- these hair extensions take awhile to put in. You know I gotta look sexy when I go out" 

Obviously there's thousands of ways of crafting that text that's just one silly example. 

Right now with such an obvious lapse I'd be like.. "ok demoting you from burger queen to burger queeve. Dont worry it's not as bad as it sounds" 

Ok sent that. Thanks for the help man. We'll see what happens

she texted me

her: Im with the girls what r u guys doing tonight

I honestly dont even really want to hit her back. Unless I end up going to this club where my friend has bottle service

I just dont like the way she just ignores me for 3 hours

Or I might just go out and pimp. But right now im chilling at my buddys he told me to invite them over

what do yall think. I just hate supplicating to bullshit. or being ok with it. 

So she made plans with you then ignored you for three hours then hits you up later asking what "you guys" are doing tonight? 

Yup. Real wack

Yeah I'd be a bit nasty to her. Which one of your buddies gives her drugs btw? 

Gives her drugs? None of them I don't think. 

Was planning on just ignoring her. My friend says if I just wana fuck her I should just let her know we're chilling here. 

But yeah I agree I should verbally backhand her, if I talk to her. No idea what I'd say though

Yeah just be like, "nope. we don't hang with queeves"

I think your buddy wants her to come over so he can peel her off you. She's basically saying she's up for grabs.

You got to start having an edge with these chicks. You might not bang a couple, but you'll develop the kind of "exterior" that let's girls know you mean business on an unconscious level so they suck your dick

Holy fuck, 

That was a long ass read on this shitty little Iphone....

I'll be in to see how this plays out more. I'll try to chime in and help the best I can. Manwhore's doing great aiding you and so is everyone else.

I hate that one-itis type feel...I feel you man... I feel you..

Welll just so ya'll know, this random chick I met a couple weeks ago just hit me up I picked her up and made her suck it :D

But yah so what you're saying is she's not feeling much attraction toward me? Like she's just liking the attention and wanting to "join my party" and use my resources but not wanting to suck it

I know I've made mistakes with this girl, but I've been leading a lot, texting her to "warm her up",  I took her away from those black dudes, and yeah I didn't end up hooking up with her that night but she was trying to make me feel guilty about it and I know it was a test so I know I didnt pass that one but still, I'm clearly trying here.

But yeah I know girls like sex so clearly somethings up. I just hate referring to myself as a momma's boy because I want to be awesome and shed that bullshit. But is that what she perceives me to be?

MW I didn't see your post til super late last night since I was w that other girl

can I still hit her with the "nope. We don't hang with queeves" today?  Or a different rendition of it

So give me a super quick rundown with this chick.. 

We got plenty of options I'm just trying to look at this from an overarching perspective. 

Ok I first met her in May at her party she threw at the 1010. Had her over to a couple parties/ get togethers and then she came over and we were making out heavily the day before I left town to shoot my music video. I didn't understand the "take your dick out" concept at the time so that's all we did. 

2 weeks after getting back to LA I finally got her out again w your help on the teleconference. This time I was so focused on escalating that I wasn't present and went too hard too soon w escalation. She shut me down so I did a freeze and started doing my laundry, then she was saying she was gona go. I talked w her and became present finally and we started making out. This is the time where she said she had to go though and went to some other dudes spot.  This was when she kept calling me  a "Lorenzo guy" (my apt bldg)

And most recently of course she invited me to her b day dinner and then out after and that was that whole scenario w the black guys outside.

i overall get this feeling like she is lacking respect toward me. On her bday she was saying dumb shit like "kiss the ring bitch, ima queen, do it cuz it's my birthday" I was like there's no fucking way I would ever kiss your hand when u talk to me like that. And her lack of responsiveness over text in general she just feels like she's too cool for school and is trying  to get me to  supplicate. In contrast to this she was making out w me infront of all the black guys, and  even though she would giv them a bunch of attention she would come back to me and press her butt against me or kiss me

so yeah that's it. She just keeps trying to put me in the seller frame with all this 'u just wana fuck me' stuff. And then the whole "what are u guys doing" when we already had plans that she blew off is super wack

Yo some of your lines are great, and it seems like you are getting coached from MW. Your shit is almost there, but I feel like your dick is clouding your judgement a bit (which can be a good thing, but this case seems bad). Use your knowledge/convictions more, I feel like all this interaction lacks is your willingness to build a meaningful rapport/show some vulnerability.

1. You write as if that girl had personal agenda of disrespecting you. LIke' she is trying to get me to supplicate' . thats BS. All of this your responsibility. Your game was/is not up to par, and you didn't do what you wanted towhen you had the chance, and now you blame the girl for disrespecting you. not good. This is not a good place to come from at all. And is also not at all the place that PB or BuDDHA or MAnwhore come from, when they call people/girls out  on something or shape that 'little bitchs' behaviour. not at all.

2. You fucked it up. That's okay. mang. accept it, then ditch that girl. Everything you did since not fucking her is goddamn uphill battle, where you are compensating for your lack of balls in that situation. Pure waste of time  and energy. There is turning back the wheel. No hard feelings.  get some fresh ones, and learn to make them behave from the start.

3. only way I see get back at this girl you could try if you really wanted to, is to freeze her out. And IF she even bothers and gets back to you. THEN do the 'horny next' ;)

To clarify maybe 1. and it seems from my experience. That whenever I fucked up by being a pussy (not by being too bold), and got into a reactive and defensive mindset as a result, I can't change matters anymore UNTIL I got myself out of that bad headspace. As long as I'm in that reactive mode, everything I do will make matters worth!!!

That's what you did after not fucking her the first time, why you fucked up fucking her second time etc. etc.  And now with everything you have solidly anchored that reactive mindset to that girl, invested shit loads of energy in making it work regardless a top on that. this is almost impossible to solve. lol. Did I say ditch that girl? Ditch that girl.

If there is any trick to make matters good from a reactive headspace, I wouldn't know about. Would be a very worthwhile discussion, though. Hit me up with ideas. My best bet sofar ismaybe owning that reactiveness, being congurent and  honest  about it with the involved persons. But then its not about results anymore. Its about you which probably would be good focus for you anyway.

Are you meditating regurlarly?

so in short:

- don't blame the girl, ditch her.

- learn to recognize, when you are in reactive headspace,

- thenstop pushing when your are in reactive mindset, get in a better mindset first.

- make it habit to ditch girls not going with your agenda, or make them friends

hope this makes sense, man, working on it myself ;)